PCN’s Weirdest Keyword Searches
Submitted by Pop Culture Nerd on August 20, 2010 – 10:12 pm10 Comments
My admin panel has a section titled “search engine terms” that displays the keywords people use in their Internet searches to land on my site. Most of them are understandable: “rooney mara” (the new Lisbeth Salander), “colin firth” (I’ve written about him numerous times) or “fall movies 2010.”
Every once in a while, though, a really strange search phrase jumps out at me, making me wonder why in the world Google/bing/Yahoo brought them here. I can say with certainty I’ve never written about any of the following topics:
- “what to do when you feel stupid”—um, maybe get off the Internet and read something?
- “harry porret”—same advice.
- “german men looking for wife contact @yahoo”—damn, what’s the rest of that e-mail address?
- “sexy actors receding hairline”—is your next search “sexy actresses with no teeth”?
- “licking and rubbing teenage girls legs”—you searching from prison?
- “romanian bondage”—how’s that different from Yemenian bondage?
- “peeling man sad face”—if my face were being peeled off, I’d be sad, too.
- “sex furniture”—you looking for a bed? Couch? Magazine rack? Can you be more specific?
So, ah, what keywords did you use to find my site?
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That’s pretty much it. I think that you covered all the ones that I use on a regular basis.
Oh, except for “harry porret”. I think that is a typo. It should be “horny potter”.
I thought that was you for all those searches! I’m sorry you weren’t able to find any horny potter posts here.
I’ve finally figured it out! You keep mentioning Colin Firth, but what you’re really posting is your husband’s picture. You’ve been, caught!
D’oh! You got me! Tomorrow I shall post a picture of someone who may look like Angelina Jolie but is actually me.
Did you know googling PCN brings up Primary Care Network, PCN a non-profit cable company in PA and is the stock symbol for Pacific Investment Management? Okay, not as funny as Romanian Bondage or Sex Furniture, but it IS sacrilege as far as I am concerned. I mean COME ON, YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY PCN!!
Heh heh!!! I think I found you from the comments on a post on Darren Rowse’s ProBlogger ~ would that be right? He had a contest: leave a description of your blog in the comments and he chose his favourites ~ I found some great blogs through those comments. {None on what to do when you feel stupid, though.}
I searched for: Stalkers Anonymous; Eddy’s BailBonds; Smart Girls on Spring Break; Coping With Craisie…A step-by-step Intervention Guide. (I am fairly certain I had an email invite)
EIREGO—You’re too kind! I’m too scared to Google PCN to see what comes up. I’m sure somewhere the “P” stands for…well, you know.
Shell—Wow! I don’t remember doing that but you’re probably right. Back when I started blogging, I had no idea what I was doing (still figuring it out) so I checked out that blog for tips. How lucky I am that you found me there.
Paulette—Huh. I can’t believe I invited miscreants like you. Must have been desperate.
MISCREANT? Does this mean I will be blocked? I have hacker friends who know how to get around that, you know!!! Wait, wait don’t block me…this is the only blog I read and then I will be desperate.
I sometimes find myself reacting the same way when I see search terms that bring people to my blog. The best is still the hemming leather pants, so your definitely top mine. But your responses to them really make them hilarious!