PCN’s Weirdest Keyword Searches

My admin panel has a section titled “search engine terms” that displays the keywords people use in their Internet searches to land on my site. Most of them are understandable: “rooney mara” (the new Lisbeth Salander), “colin firth” (I’ve written about him numerous times) or “fall movies 2010.”

Every once in a while, though, a really strange search phrase jumps out at me, making me wonder why in the world Google/bing/Yahoo brought them here. I can say with certainty I’ve never written about any of the following topics:

• “what to do when you feel stupid”—um, maybe get off the Internet and read something?
• “harry porret”—same advice.
• “german men looking for wife contact  @yahoo”—damn, what’s the rest of that e-mail address?
• “sexy actors receding hairline”—is your next search “sexy actresses with no teeth”?
• “licking and rubbing teenage girls legs”—you searching from prison?
• “romanian bondage”—how’s that different from Yemenian bondage?
• “peeling man sad face”—if my face were being peeled off, I’d be sad, too.
• “sex furniture”—you looking for a bed? Couch? Magazine rack? Can you be more specific?

So, ah, what keywords did you use to find my site?