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Home » Movies

Oscars Fashion 2012

Submitted by on February 27, 2012 – 5:04 am 16 Comments

OK, so you’ve read what I thought were highlights from the show, but what you really want to know about is the fashion, right? Let’s do a rundown of the beautiful, the bad, and the bland:

1. Meryl Streep. She fittingly came dressed like an Oscar, but the dress was ill-fitting. You can even see some kind of black undergarment peeking out from the right side of her chest. The queen of cinema should be decked out in a much better gown than this.

2. Angelina Jolie. This black velvet dress looked too heavy for a warm sunny day. I have no idea why she kept posing with her leg sticking out like that, but it now has its own Twitter account.

3. Viola Davis. The dress was pretty but the color of her hair clashed with it.

4. Berenice Bejo. Speaking of strange hair color, her new carrot top didn’t do her any favors. And her gown was kind of frumpy.

5. Rooney Mara. This is droopy and sad.

6. Natalie Portman. The polka dots made it look more like a casual summer dress than a formal gown.

7. Michelle Williams. If it didn’t have all that frou-frou action around the waist and hips, this would’ve looked much better.

8. Jessica Chastain. This reminds me of drapes or bed covers at a hotel.

9. Jennifer Lopez. This dress isn’t something I’d wear, but she looked striking in it. Don’t like that tight, gigantic bun on top of her head, though. A softer upsweep might have been more romantic.

10. Judy Greer. I like the slinkiness of this, and the built-in optical illusion that makes the wearer look really thin (not that Greer needs that).

11. Kelly Osbourne. I have no words for this mess.

12. Emma Stone. She looked really pretty, until you realized the dress is a rip-off of Nicole Kidman’s from 2007.

13. Penelope Cruz. The dress is bland, and her hair aged her by about twenty years.

14. Christopher Plummer. His velvet tux jacket made him look dapper and put him in a league of his own.

15. Louise Roe. I had no idea who she was before tonight (she interviewed stars on the red carpet for ABC), but her great look immediately had my attention. It’s…business formal?

16. Gwyneth Paltrow. I saved the best for last. I normally loathe white dresses but this is sleek, fashion forward, and super(hero) cool. She has a cape! And a badass (bulletproof?) cuff! And with that, she rescued the red carpet from being an endless parade of safe, boring gowns.

Which gowns were your favorite?

Photos: Getty

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16 Comments »

  • Jen Forbus says:

    You make me laugh!! I was looking at dresses on Yahoo this morning and I am just not seeing the same thing the fashionista are. First and foremost, I have NEVER seen a flesh-colored dress that I thought looked good.

    I totally agree that Meryl Streep did not look her best. She has definitely had much better showings, I did like Glenn Close’s get-up, though.

    While I thought Angie looked beautiful, I wondered if her dress was forcing her leg out like that. Just really weird…

    Jennifer Lopez’s dress I found to be ewwww. I think I’m getting extremely tired of the “let’s see how much I can show and not be arrested for public indecency” look.

    I find that mess at the top of Emma Stone’s dress uncomfortable and I’m not even wearing the silly thing. No thanks.

    To go with my first comment, if you have ghost-white skin, white is not a good color…yes, I’m talking to you Rooney.

    I liked Michelle Williams and Penelope Cruz, but in all fairness, they could probably have been wearing pajamas and I’d have thought they looked cute. They just got an unfair share of the adorable genes.

    I also thought Lea Thompson looked rather cute.

    As you can see, I’m no fashion expert. It’s a good thing I live in the Midwest! 😉

  • When Jennifer Lopez & Cameron Diaz presented, I almost had a heart attack. It’s like the beauties of my teenagehood didn’t grow a day older, but just got classier with time. A few more seconds on screen and I would’ve needed CPR

    • Poncho says:

      Haha… I almost spilled my coffee out of my nose with that comment, Benoit (PCN would’ve loved it to happen, though).

      But you are absolutely right. I didn’t quite like JLo’s dress (but she can wear a night gown and look fantastic, for all I care), I do agree she’s grown classier and classier.

      I didn’t have a crush on Cameron Diaz during my teenage years, but I’ve been developing one a few years back.

    • Pop Culture Nerd says:

      Ha! Glad you survived, Benoit.

  • I have to agree with Jen that flesh-colored dresses are almost always unflattering. Ends up looking like weirdly-decorated skin. That said, women of color have the best chance at wearing them. And women’s dresses should never almost match their hair (attn George Clooney’s latest).

    Must disagree w/ you on Louise Roe’s look. It was too busy for my taste and looked stiff. Also, with the flare at the bottom, and the sideways hair, I thought she might burst into Flamenco at any moment!

    Black. WTH? Angelina got away with it. She looked too Barbie 1985 for my taste, but it was extremely flattering on her, which is what it’s all about. The leg pose smacked of movie star insecurity. Too posed. Julia Ormond and Melanie Griffith are both too old to wear black. It’s too harsh against aging skin, which isn’t lustrous enough to bear it. How often do we see Helen Mirren in black? I can only recall once or twice in the past decade. She’s my style heroine.

    I thought Bo Derek looked pretty. But, OMG! She’s been dating Jon Corbett for ten years????? That leaves me speechless.

    Nancy O’Dell looked adorable in her bright yellow/metallic number. Very fresh and fun–appropriate for an interviewer type.

    Emma Stone looked nice, but who can compete with Nicole Kidman?

    Totally agree w/ you on Portman. Her stylist should be bitch-slapped. One thing I did like about it was its youthful feel. So many gowns are frumpy this season.

    Meryl. *shakes head* She’s like crazy old-money women I know who seem to have weird agendas in their heads about how they should look. Style, fit, fashion be damned. Her dress looks like it came from LL Bean’s holiday catalog, size Too-Big. And Glenn Close? The wedding planner called about your mother-of-the-bride dress. The rental period is over. It was a gorgeous, flattering color, though.

    I thought Penelope’s dress was delicious, if a smidge Disney Princess. C- on the hair.

    Ellie Kemper? Darling in her rusty sparkles! And I’m with Jen on Lea Thompson. Cute as a bug.

    Sandra Bullock. *headdesk*

    Totally agree with you on Gwyneth. She was regal, and in a class of her own. Her best competition was Milla Jojovich. Perfection.

    Oh, wait! (I had to come back and edit.) I assume that the woman with the amazing Christopher Plummer is his wife? In the yahoo pics, you can see the seams/outlines of her tummy garments beneath the satin. Satin is so unforgiving. The poor woman obviously doesn’t watch Project Runway. I pity her morning-after. : (

    • Pop Culture Nerd says:

      Would you like to be my guest blogger for next year’s awards shows? Your commentary is insightful and hilarious. Size Too Big? Haha!

      And yikes re: undergarments showing beneath the silk dress. Let’s hope she didn’t surf the Internet and didn’t have to see the pics.

  • Yea! This was what I was waiting for. I never watch the show, but I love to see the fashions. Not overly impressed with any but the last one. Jolie looks like a Picasso painting. There’s a leg. Oh wait, no, that’s the canvas. Oh, there’s her head. Ugh.

  • Jann says:

    The frou frou around Emma Stone’s neck looked like a blanket tied over her shoulder to hold it up. And Michelle William’s matching of a pink purse with that icky dress and the stupid rhinestone bow at her waist – UGH! And Natalie Portman’s hair looked greasy. I don’t think Jessica Chastian’s dress looked like a bedstpread, but it clashed horribly with her hair. On a positive note, Gwyneth Paltrow was stunningly regal looking, even with the simple ponytail.

  • While the massive ribboned appendage on her shoulder doesn’t do the gown any favours, I think the colour of Emma Stone’s dress was sensational with her pale skin. Just a shame the frou frou bit didn’t get caught in the limo door on arrival. Gwyneth did look wonderful. And her hair was perfect. I wondered if she’d had it cut short until she turned her head – I think it would suit her!

  • Poncho says:

    You know who I thought of when I saw Gwyneth Paltrow?

    Emma Frost… but in a great way!

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