Didn’t I tell you the show would be horrible? [I said yes.] You were bored at home? I was there.

I loved the bit from the opening film montage where the hosts were in True Grit and I liked the auto-tune medley making fun of Twilight but that was it. I couldn’t deal with anything else. I will say I thought when Anne [Hathaway] came out at the beginning and said, “All of you are real!” that was a genuine moment. She’s been working her ass off, rehearsing last night until 11 p.m. with only cardboard placeholders in the audience. So I thought she was really excited to look out and see actual celebrities sitting there.

Mirren with husband Taylor Hackford

Russell Brand was addicted to bananas; he couldn’t stop eating them backstage. He must have eaten four. And Helen Mirren was eating one, too. Right before they went onstage to present the foreign film award, she handed her half-eaten banana to someone and said something like, “It would be funny if I went out there eating a banana, wouldn’t it?” I laughed so hard. She looked at me and said, “Right?”

And Brand was joking with some stagehands and pretended to make really weird demands like, “I need this restroom, some candles, a spoon”—and some other things I can’t remember— “and I need them NOW!” No cameras were on him but he was really funny. I thought, This is why he’s famous.

Governors Ball

I talked to Hailee Steinfeld and found out she’s a quarter Filipino. Who knew?

The Govenors Ball was fun. All-you-can-eat sushi! Jeff Bridges and Christopher Nolan stayed until the very end. Jake Gyllenhaal and Scarlett Johansson left almost right away.

Anne arrived very late, around 10:30. She looked really happy.

[For my thoughts on best & worst of the show, click here. For my fashion roundup, go here.]

This was my favorite Globes ever. It’s so festive and happy and everything the Globes should be. It also had the strictest security in Globes history. The ticketing and party access was very strict.

Catherine Zeta-Jones and I talked for a while because she was outside smoking.  She was very sweet and has plans to return to the stage with a secret project. And then Jane Fonda came out and said, “Can I have a drag of that, please?” Catherine said, “Of course, darling” and gave Fonda a puff on her cigarette. Fonda then complimented Catherine on how well she’s been holding up during Michael Douglas’s cancer ordeal.

Alec Baldwin came up to Jennifer Lopez at one point and said, “Seacrest told me to tell you your shoes are f*cking ugly.” Her response was “Seacrest is a jerk!” And then they laughed.

There were a bunch of Glee cast members who weren’t allowed to eat or sit in the ballroom. They were set up at a viewing party across the parking lot. Right before the best comedy TV series was announced, they were escorted to the ballroom so they could all go on stage in case the show won. [Ed. note: It did.]

I asked Jesse Tyler Ferguson [of Modern Family] when he’s going back to Broadway because he’s awesome and he said, “I need the money so I’m going to stay here.”

I thought Sandra Bullock looked the best in person. I liked her bangs. Everyone thought Emma Stone was Jaime Pressly. Scarlett Johansson looked washed out.

For the guys, Chris Hemsworth and Armie Hammer looked good. Armie was very sweet. He gave me the biggest hug because I’d seen him at the Hollywood Movie Awards [a few months ago].

Peter Facinelli and Robert Pattinson hung out with each other all night long. I told Andrew Lincoln [from Walking Dead] I loved him in Love Actually and he gave me this look that said, “Where is this going?” so I asked him for a photo. But then a security guy said, “No photos here” so we went into a corner where they couldn’t see us and took a photo.

That’s about it. I’m going to celebrate by eating some fries now!

Is it any wonder we’re friends?

As part of the WGA Foundation’s fantastic Anatomy of a Script series, I had the pleasure of hearing Matthew Weiner talk about the pilot script for Mad Men. Luckily for me, the three-hour talk evolved into a discussion of his writing career as a whole, how he runs his show (and make no mistake, it is one hundred percent his show), and his obsession with tarot cards. Okay, maybe he didn’t go on at length about his obsession with tarot cards, but it did dominate the first five minutes of the discussion.

The thing that shocked me the most about the pilot that started this amazing series is that no one would read it. That is not hyperbole. He was working on the pilot while writing for Becker (the Ted Danson sitcom where he played a cranky doctor to prove he wasn’t just a laid-back bartender) and no one would read it. He was hired by David Chase to write for The Sopranos and still no one would read it. And this was, is, one of the best pilot scripts of all time, in my opinion.

So when against all odds, he got to shoot the pilot, and then against even higher odds, he got to make the show, Weiner decided to be uncompromising as all hell. He rewrites every episode, demands the show be shot the exact way he wrote it, and doesn’t apologize for any of it. I’ve heard similar stories about showrunner-creators and usually been more than a little disappointed to learn that my idol is a tyrant. Weiner, however, said something that had never occurred to me before: He “doesn’t want to waste it.”

The odds of getting your own show on television are greater than the odds of an airplane crashing into the room where you’re sitting with your computer right now (his expression). Since the impossible happened, he’s going to take full and complete advantage of it. He works, lives, and breathes all things Mad Men, knows it better than anyone, cares about it more than anyone, and so why shouldn’t the shot of Betty looking at the camera be shot the way he wants it?*

As for the pilot itself and its genesis, he dictated the whole thing to someone he paid to type for him. He spent the money so that he would take the endeavor seriously. He hired a researcher, read books, worked for years on the concept, and then literally spoke the whole thing out loud over the course of nine days. Granted, it played on a culture and time that he’d been obsessed with since a child, but still. Nine. Days.

Someone asked if his experience writing his own pilot made him want to change how pilots are developed now. The short answer is yes; longer answer is don’t develop pilots at all. Write them for free, for yourself, because letting a guy in a suit tell you to make the doctor a personal trainer isn’t going to make for a great script.

He also insisted that The Sopranos was a comedy. After he explained that the episode he won the Emmy for was about Tony realizing a guy was a rat because he said Tony looked like he lost weight, I see Weiner’s point. From working on that show, he learned “Don’t talk everything to death,” meaning at a certain point, the room full of writers agreed on how humans behaved and didn’t need to logic everything to death. For example, when are people the most self-destructive? When they’re on top of the world.

Finally—I know this post is running long but trust me, I’m cutting it short because the man talked for three hours—he said one of the truest things about being a struggling writer I have ever heard. Quoting as best I can from my scribbled notes:

“Struggling to make it, everyone thinks about it as the rejection of a finished work. No one will read you, no one will hire you, and that’s part of it. But struggling is really about all the time you’re wasting and not hating yourself for what you haven’t done yet.”

So don’t hate yourself for the scripts you haven’t finished, do your research, don’t assume that because no one’s ever read you that they never will, and never bring a tractor to Madison Avenue.

*He never denied that he appreciates the team behind him. He said over and over that his wife is responsible for half of what you see in the show, giving her advice, support, and opinion on every aspect of it. In fact, she is directly responsible for a speech in season 2 that left me sobbing twenty minutes after the episode ended. He said he couldn’t do the show without the room full of writers fleshing out the stories and characters each episode, but yes, he does rewrite them.

My interviewees come from different demographics and have been SAG members for various lengths of time. How much do they agree on 2009′s “best” performances? I sent them all identical questions but their answers are hardly the same.

The voters are:

• Lauren, 20s, SAG member for 9 months, first-time voter
• Actor (he wished to remain anonymous), 30s, SAG member for 12 years
• Susan, 40s, SAG member for 14 years

PCN: How long did it take you to fill out the ballot? How much thought did you put into it?

Lauren: I knew who my favorites were as soon as the nominations came out, which made voting pretty easy. It was my first time voting so I was pretty excited! There is nothing like opening your mailbox for the first time and having a screener addressed to you “for your consideration.” I felt special!

Actor: I did it in two sittings with a lot of thought put into it. It’s a privilege to be able to vote.

Susan: I must say I filled out the SAG ballot with great alacrity as I looked at the calendar and realized it had to go out yesterday [January 19] or it wouldn’t be counted. It was raining, I could hear the mailman coming and so I kinda sped thru filling in the little bubbles. I would say it took me about two minutes and I didn’t really ponder a great deal on any of my choices except for thinking some of the categories were ridiculous.

PCN: Who do you feel deserves a win so much, you’d go on strike if it doesn’t happen?

Lauren: I thought there were some really great film performances this [past] year. I was especially happy with a lot of the female performances…As I’ve heard from most people, I think Mo’Nique really deserves to be recognized for her performance [in Precious]. I also really enjoyed Christoph Waltz’s performance in Inglourious Basterds.

Actor: Mo’Nique.

Susan: It would be a travesty if Meryl Streep doesn’t win for Julie & Julia. She WAS Julia Child and she is soooo NOT Julia Child [in real life]! In TV ensemble cast, I want Glee or Modern Family to win. If anything else wins, I will not be happy.

PCN: Who do you think shouldn’t bother preparing a speech?

Lauren: As an actor, I have a hard time saying I don’t think anyone should “bother” preparing a speech, because I honestly believe anyone nominated should relish it and hope to win. That’s how I would feel if it were me.

I thought Diane Kruger was an odd nomination for Inglourious Basterds but that was just because her performance didn’t stand out for me. I also am one of the five people that didn’t like The Hurt Locker so I wasn’t on board with Jeremy Renner’s nomination, but I stress that I was one of the very few people I know who didn’t care for the film.

Actor: Diane Kruger (Inglourious Basterds), Helen Mirren (The Last Station), and the cast of An Education.They just have really stiff competition.

Susan: Much as I love Sandra Bullock, and I really did think she did a lovely job in The Blind Side, she shouldn’t really think that she can beat ”La Streep.”

PCN: Which categories do you think will contain the exact same names when the Oscar noms are announced? Which categories do you think will change the most?

Lauren: I hope An Education gets recognition at the Oscars! The ensemble and storytelling in that film made it one of my favorites of the season. For me, it came in as the second best film this season behind Up In The Air. I think the lead actor and actress Oscar nominations will be similar to ours. I do think Avatar will definitely cancel some nominations out. That said, there are 10 nominations for best picture this year so most movies worth seeing should be nominated.

Actor: I don’t think any of the categories will have the exact same names. SAG nominees, from my recollection, traditionally have different nominees than a lot of the other mainstream organizations. They (we) also vote for really weird things. Take, for example, some previous winners for best ensemble cast: The Birdcage over The English Patient, Little Miss Sunshine over The Departed.

Susan: Well, of course it won’t be the best picture ensemble because for some reason there are going to be TEN best picture nominees. Whatever! And there will be no TV categories or stunt categories (another whatever!). But I do believe they are pretty dead on with most of the nominees in the film categories except maybe best supporting actress.

PCN: How do you vote when you haven’t seen most of the nominees in a category? Do you randomly pick one or leave it blank?

Lauren: I voted for Drew Barrymore for Grey Gardens even though I hadn’t seen all the nominees in [female actor in TV movie/miniseries]. I would have left it blank, but it’s rare that I appreciate Drew Barrymore’s acting and I thought she did a really wonderful job in that film.

I also had a tough time [with the lead movie actor category] because the one film I wanted to see and haven’t yet is Crazy Heart and I’ve heard wonderful things about Jeff Bridges. I voted for someone else in that category but hopefully if Mr. Bridges really deserves the award, my vote will be canceled out somewhere.

Actor: I go with the actor’s body of work. Are they credible? Have they proven themselves? I also sometimes consult a trusted friend.

Susan: If I haven’t seen a performance, I usually try and think about the actor and what I have seen them do. For instance, in the male TV actor category, I have seen all of these actors’ work before, just not necessarily their work this season of the show, so I try to go on that.

PCN: Do you really vote for the best actors, or do you go with your favorite actors?

Lauren: I vote for the best actors in the roles they have been nominated for. In the TV comedy ensemble, I was tempted to vote for Glee because it’s my favorite new show, but I took a second to think about it and ended up voting for Modern Family instead. I felt the acting and comedic timing is genius within the Modern Family ensemble, even though I do enjoy the cheesy dancing and singing that comes with Glee.

Actor: The best.

Susan: I would like to say I always vote for the best performance but sometimes, if I haven’t seen all the performances, I do vote for my favorite. Or, if there is a performance that I haven’t seen but it has gotten such great buzz, like Mo’Nique in Precious, I vote with the masses (yes, I am a lemming).

PCN: Which performances do you think deserved nominations but were snubbed?

Lauren: Marion Cotillard was FANTASTIC in Nine. I think her performance made the movie enjoyable when it had so little plot to go on.

I also really enjoyed Peter Sarsgaard [in An Education] and I thought Tobey Maguire was really good in Brothers even though I didn’t love the movie itself.

Actor: Samantha Morton (The Messenger), Marion Cotillard (Nine), Melanie Laurent (Inglourious Basterds), the Up in the Air ensemble, and Shohreh Aghdashloo (The Stoning of Soraya M.).

Susan: Julianne Moore (A Single Man), Samantha Morton…There were a lot of good supporting performances this year for actresses.

PCN: When they win SAG Awards, actors often say, “This means more to me than anything because it’s from my peers.” If you win one, would you feel that way or is that B.S.?

Lauren: I would definitely feel that way! Actors are very judgmental…and they understand how hard it is to be a working actor in Hollywood. To have people I respect and admire voting for me to win an award specifically for acting would be really special. It’s always the best to have validation from your peers; it’s one of the best kinds of respect and support in an otherwise very competitive field.

Actor: I do think the award would mean more because it comes from peers. Everyone knows the joke: “How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?” Answer: “One, and twenty others who say ‘I can do it better.’” Actors can be a catty bunch.

Susan: When an actor says the award means more because it comes from their peers, I guess I believe that because I feel a fellow actor probably knows a bit more about the craft and the business of acting than the press or the general public. But would I look down on a People’s Choice Award or a Golden Globe or any other random award someone wants to give me? Hell, NO! I am open to all awards!

And there you have it, readers—an inside look at how SAG Awards recipients are chosen. Which ones were your favorites? How would YOU vote?

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After the ceremony (and maybe a party or two), a friend of mine who had attended the Globes called and we chatted briefly about some things that weren’t shown on TV. She wished to stay anonymous since she often works with many of the celebrities in attendance.

PCN: Did you have fun?

A: Yeah! It’s so ridiculous. Marion Cotillard and Mo’Nique are kind of like my buddies now. At the end of the night, Mo’Nique kissed me on the cheek and said, “See you at the SAG Awards [next weekend]!”

PCN: Don’t make me push you down the stairs. What other moments stood out for you tonight?

A: The reunions [of former co-stars]. At one point, John Lithgow was talking with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Jodie Foster ran into Mel Gibson, who was wandering around because he didn’t have a seat.

PCN: Why didn’t he have a seat?

A: Lots of stars show up just to make an appearance and then leave. They don’t stay for dinner.

PCN: Who else did that?

A: Cher, Christina Aguilera, Josh Brolin, off the top of my  head. Oh, get this. For some reason, Taylor Lautner had better seats than Amy Adams, Halle Berry and Kate Winslet.

PCN: What?!

A: I know! The best seats are on the bottom floor and then there’s the second tier. So on the floor there was Robert De Niro, Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Loren and Taylor Lautner.

PCN: That makes no sense. OK, what got the biggest gasp in the room?

A: When Ricky Gervais made the crack about Mel Gibson.

PCN: What did you think of Gervais?

A: He’s very nice but I don’t think he was great [as host]. He was well-spoken and witty but for some reason, I wasn’t drawn in, I wasn’t enthused.

PCN: I hate to say it but I have to agree. He certainly wasn’t terrible but I expected him to be much funnier.

A: Oh, I have another call. Gotta go!

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Well, Lloyd Robinson didn’t and here, he explains why. Robinson, agent/founder of Suite A Management, is the agent in the movie solicited by Brüno to make him a star. I spoke with Robinson and found that, unlike some other unwitting participants, he bears no ill will towards Cohen, even deeming him “brilliant.”

Robinson was approached as a result of his shopping around a celebrity interview show to German television. The concept of the show, which he’d developed with a writer client, was celebrities being interviewed in a hot tub in the back of a limousine traveling to different places. Robinson felt it would sell in the European market since “they have a fixation on all things celebrity.” I’ll let him take it from here.

Lloyd Robinson: I contacted a German producer, George Hohbach…I told them we needed an interviewer, kind of an over-the-top personality, like Cojo [fashion critic Steven Cojocaru]. They’d have to be fluent in German and English.

About a month later, I got a call from German TV, saying, “We got a guy. He fancies himself a celebrity who wants to become a star in Hollywood. We’re going to underwrite [his endeavor] since we’re distributing his show. We’ve got a production company [in L.A.] called Cold Stream Productions.” The way I understood it, the guy was doing a promo/teaser because he was a celebrity in Vienna.

So I got a call…The producer and director said, “We’re gonna shoot this thing and think it’d be interesting if one of the scenes is an interview with an agent.” I said, “Fine, bring him in.”

[Brüno] showed up…in this silver lamé outfit with a red spangled jock strap and kinda burst into my office. I’m pitching him [the celebrity interview show] Tub Talk, “You might be perfect for this!” I came to the conclusion he was over the top. “I don’t think you’d back off enough to let the star shine, but maybe someday…you can be a star.” He said, “No! I want to be a star now!” I said, “No, you can’t be a star now. Get out of my office.”

Four or five weeks later, I got another call from Todd [Schulman, the producer, though he'd introduced himself as Todd Lewis]. “[Brüno] is coming back into town. He’s prepared some sides to show you he can act.” I said, “Well, okay.”

So they made an appointment and showed up in the office. [Brüno] was very humbled and complimentary, nice. He was going to show me a sample of his acting ability. It was the worst thing I’ve seen in my life and I’ve been in the biz forty years. [I said] “You need some acting lessons, someone to coach you on how to do this. If I’m still looking and you’re still looking, we can talk another time.”

A month or two later, Larry [Charles, the movie's director] called me again. This time, they’ve completed the teaser and scheduled a focus group. [I said] “Why a focus group?”

“Because we want to take him directly to producers and studios and we’re being paid to do this.”

I said, “But no one’s paying me.”

“What if we paid you $500?”

So I drive out into the Valley…There’s an NBC exec there…and they walk in the focus group. I take one look and say, “This is not gonna work” because people were all in their 40s, they’re not gonna get this guy’s humor. If you have a focus group of [people aged] 16-24, it might work.

**Mild Spoilers**

They start the thing and two minutes later, [the NBC exec]’s out the door! Brüno said, “Please stay! Have some champagne!”

…I stayed. They were paying me. But I said, “Todd, what are you doing? The scene with him waving his schlong all over the place—that’s gotta go. You’ve got to tell him to mind his manners and watch his words.”

…About a month or so later, I get another call: “He’s back in town.”

[I said] “What do you want now? What? He’s singing a song in a recording studio? He sings?!”

“Will you come? We’ll pay you  $500.”

“Throw in lunch at the Formosa Café and we’ve got a deal.”

I drove to the recording studio down on Santa Monica Boulevard…He’s singing a duet with Elton John! And it wasn’t half bad! Every time I’ve seen him, he’s been bad.

**End Spoilers**

[Brüno] comes out and says, “What do you think?”

“I think you might be on to something!…But this isn’t going to work for Tub Talk.” So we parted and Todd thanked me again for coming out… [Then Todd  said] “By the way, would you sign a release?” I didn’t care what the hell they were going to do with the teaser. I know what I said, I hadn’t done anything offensive and [Brüno] hadn’t done anything to me that was offensive.

About four weeks ago [Ed. note: This conversation took place July 8], I was driving on Sunset Boulevard. I came up Doheny, I looked up and there’s this building-scape. It’s Brüno! [I said to my wife] “That’s the guy that’s been in my office! He’s in a movie!”

My wife said, “Really?”

“Yes, I know that face! I know that outfit!”

I never saw Borat; it wouldn’t have been worth my time. I never saw [Da] Ali G [Show] on HBO. I found all that out later.

PCN: Did you ever feel betrayed once it all came out?

LR: No, that was really interesting. I look at things more analytically so I thought, “This guy is brilliant.” He’s a socio-political satirist. If you’ve got a sacred topic, he’ll throw dung at it.

I came to it for a reason. I was pitching…my client’s project, Tub Talk. [I needed] a German-English host, someone who could get starlets to hop in the tub…someone who can have fun with them. In a lot of ways, the guy fit the bill.

PCN: Would you hire him for Tub Talk now?

LR: Sure.

PCN: As Brüno or Cohen?

LR: Somewhere in between Borat and Brüno…somewhere between that would be an interesting innocence.

PCN: Have you seen the movie?

LR: I have not. I had two opportunities to see it but wanted to sit back and maintain my innocence until more of my friends call me…

A well-known reality-show producer saw the movie at a press screening and called me. “Lloyd, what would you think about doing a reality show about an older, eccentric agent with weird clients?”…I’m meeting with him next week. So, interesting things come from weird things. That’s what keeps me young and excited and involved in the business.

This morning, the world watched and celebrated Michael Jackson’s life with a memorial service that took place in Los Angeles at the Staples Center, where Jackson had been rehearsing his “This Is It” tour. Police warned people to avoid the downtown area if they didn’t have tickets so I stayed in front of my TV like a dutiful citizen.

But a friend of mine, actress-singer Charlene Modeste, won tickets in a lottery to attend the service. I spoke to her afterwards about her emotional experience and she shared some details we didn’t get to see on TV, along with these photos she took.

PCN: What was it like getting there this morning?

Charlene Modeste: I was up around six, turned on the news, saw people were already waiting to get in. I didn’t leave my house until 7:30-ish [the service was scheduled for 10 a.m. PT] so there was traffic and I had to redirect myself and get a secret back way on the 2 [freeway]. Usually takes me 15 minutes but it took me half an hour.

My friend lives downtown so I parked at my friend’s lot and we walked over…There were all these people selling Michael Jackson T-shirts, buttons, posters. Parking lots were $40. Everyone was really calm and respectful, there were cameras pretty much all over the place. Police were checking for wristbands and tickets. There were a lot of people but everyone was really subdued.

PCN: Was that because it was early and people were still waking up or was it because of the occasion?

CM: I think it just hit everybody. To hear about him passing away is one thing; it didn’t really register until the memorial started. There were people there for different reasons—for the spectacle, to celebrate, to pay respect. Some were there just for the community, to share in something we all had in common. There were some who were there for the party, you know, Whoo hoo! I thought it was strange, but you have to take into consideration whose funeral it is. People react to things in different ways.

The overall feeling of the crowd…I wouldn’t say it was somber but people were very quiet. I was in the overflow in the Nokia [Theatre] but [my friend and I] were texting someone who was in the Staples Center.

Smokey [Robinson] came up first and read letters from Diana Ross and Nelson Mandela. We thought someone would come up right after him but no one came for a really long time. If that happened at a rock concert, people would’ve reacted but no one made a sound. Everyone was so patient, anticipatory for sure, but very respectful.

When we walked in they were playing Frank Sinatra, whom I adore, but someone behind me started playing Michael Jackson songs on his mp3 player. I said, “Can you turn that up?” He said, “This is as loud as it can go but maybe if I hold it up higher, you can hear it better.” I started thinking, “Why aren’t they playing Michael Jackson songs?” I mean, no disrespect to Frank Sinatra. I asked one of the ushers to say something to someone in the booth to start playing Michael Jackson songs and two minutes later, they started playing his songs.

PCN: So you wanna be startin’ somethin’! Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, what were the most emotional moments for you?

CM: There were so many! There was Paris [Jackson's daughter], of course. There was Marlon; the first words out of his mouth that I could hear were “I hurt.” That was definitely a moment.

I didn’t know what to expect. I got these tickets as a fluke. As far as I knew, it was gonna be a concert. From the beginning, when they were singing the hymn, setting the tone, that was the hymn I grew up with in church. And they rolled out the casket, which I didn’t expect at all. So that knocked the wind out of me. It hit me—I’m at a memorial service, it’s gonna be an emotional service.

Usher was another [emotional moment], Brooke Shields, anyone who shed tears, Jermaine. Paris broke my heart. That’s not her dad, it’s her Daddy. She’s still a little girl.

I wasn’t expecting to be moved as much. I shed so many tears this morning, which was definitely a surprise because it wasn’t someone I knew personally.

PCN: Did anything special happen that wasn’t televised?

CM: Absolutely. When the telecast was over, we were just gonna leave. But they brought mikes, floral arrangements onto the stage. Someone said, “The family’s coming!” Everyone who was making their way to the door turned around, found a seat. Everyone squeezed in to make room for everyone else. We sat and waited quietly for a while.

Then the three sisters came out—LaToya, Janet and Rebbie—to specifically thank us all for being there. Amidst losing their brother, they came out to say thanks. They didn’t have to; we were on our way out. I think that was absolutely great.

LaToya, Janet and Rebbie Jackson

PCN: That’s very classy. So, was the whole process worth it?

CM: It was so worth it; I’m so glad I went. It was a great experience which really put things in perspective for me, the influence he had in my life and the influence he had on the world, the possibility of what one person can achieve in their life and what’s possible for those of us who are still here can achieve as we move forward. It definitely had a huge impact on me. Even with his passing, he’s continuing to inspire.

************************************

This was my fourth Malice. In 2006, I was a prize winner (William F. Deeck – Malice Domestic grant); in 2007, I was nobody in particular; in 2008, I was a prize winner again (St. Martin’s Press/Malice Domestic contest) and this year, I attended as a published author.

Of course my book, The Cold Light of Mourning, had only been out for five minutes (published April 28). There was a stack of 12 of them in the dealers’ room on Friday. I walked by every now and then. Yep, still 12.

On Saturday morning I attended the new authors breakfast, sponsored by Kate Stine and Brian Skupin, publishers of Mystery Scene magazine. Talking to facilitator Cindy Silberblatt, we got a chance to promote our books to a very targeted audience. Then it was on to my first panel as an author. Imagine how thrilling it was for me to share a platform with Katherine Neville, Ann Cleeves, Hannah Dennison, Maria Hudgins–-all authors of wonderful novels–-to discuss mysteries set in foreign places. Mine is set in North Wales, where every hillside is dotted with sheep. We were up against stiff competition, as the nominees for the best novel were having their panel at the same time, so we were especially pleased that attendance in our salon was rather good!

Then it was on to the group author signing session. This was my first signing as an author. I wasn’t nervous about the signing part-–I was afraid no one would show up as I was signing at the same time as Carolyn Hart, Anne Perry, Louise Penny, Rhys Bowen and other heavy hitters in the traditional mystery world. Remember those 12 copies of The Cold Light of Mourning stacked up in the dealers’ room? Not anymore! I was delighted to be kept rather busy signing copies for readers and, bless their hearts, I hope they enjoy the book.

The banquet menu was standard three-course fare for this sort of event at a hotel like the Marriott: salad, pecan-crusted chicken breast (yum!) with pureed sweet potatoes and sautéed green beans. Dessert, or pudding, as we say in Wales, was a triple chocolate Charlotte–-a richly layered mousse.

The awards presentation started during dessert and I was touched when Harriette Sackler, who is a lovely, gracious woman, acknowledged me and G.M. Malliet, two previous winners, before she named this year’s winner of the William F. Deeck – Malice Domestic Grant: Kimberly Gray.

And in case you haven’t heard yet, here are this year’s Agatha Award winners:

Best novel – The Cruelest Month, Louise Penny, St. Martin’s Press
Best first novel – Death of a Cozy Writer, G.M. Malliet, Midnight Ink
Best non-fiction – How to Write Killer Mysteries – Kathy Lynn Emerson, Perseverance Press
Best Short Story – “The Night Things Changed” – Dana Cameron, Wolfsbane & Mistletoe, Penguin Group
Best Children’s/Young Adult – The Crossroads, Chris Grabenstein, Random House

One of the convention’s best-attended events was a sit-down chat between Anne Perry and Don Maas, her New York literary agent. Here are some highlights:

Maas began by describing Perry’s prolific volume of work: 25 novels in the Pitt series, 17 in the Monk series, seven Christmas novellas, and six in the World War I series, to name the most popular. Her books have continuously been in print for 30 years.

Composed and self-assured, Perry answered his questions with warmth and honesty.

Maas: What drives you?

Perry: I think I’m finally beginning to get the hang of it! I always think the best book is the next one. I feel I am writing stronger, more complex books now that go deeper and push characters into more dilemmas. There are always more things to learn and I enjoy that.

Maas: How to you develop your characters?

Perry: I imagine them at the end of the world overlooking an abyss. What would he do now? I think about all the things I see and hear. How would they deal with certain situations, like disillusionment.

Maas: Can you describe your writing process?

Perry: I live on the east coast of Scotland, about three hours north of Edinburgh in a small fishing village. I have a secretary who comes in three days a week and my brother, a retired physician, is my researcher and he comes in four days a week. I do write on the road. A hotel room with the door closed can be a fine and private place. I outline my work pretty tightly and the less familiar I am with the material, the more I outline. The outline for a book of 12 chapters will be about 24 pages.

Mass: Do things happen in your stories that surprise you?

Perry: Occasionally. Once I discovered I liked the culprit too much so I had to give that role to someone else.

Maas: Is it true that a single copy of the first edition of Cater Street Hangman (first in the Pitt series, 1979) now sells for more than the advance you received for the book?

Perry: That’s true!

Maas: You bring the Victorian world vividly alive. How do you call out all that detail and still keep things fresh and interesting?

Perry: I am getting better at cutting things out and I keep reminding myself that the detail has to serve the story.

PCN: Spill! Tell me your favorite moments.

A: I’m so overwhelmed that the Slumdog kids won, and by the grand symbolism of the acting awards, just the way the new winners were welcomed into the club by previous winners, some who are legends. That feeling must have been like, Wow.

PCN: That was really cool how they had 5 winners come out for each acting award. I gasped when Eva Marie Saint came out to present Best Supporting Actress.

A: Me, too! I actually walked up to her and told her how starstruck I was by her. She won an Oscar for On the Waterfront! 

PCN: Who else were you starstruck by?

A: Sophia Loren. They just don’t make ‘em like her anymore.  And Daniel Craig. He usually looks kinda weathered on screen but he walked by me a couple times and was very debonair, the epitome of a British gentleman. 

PCN: I need to shove you down the stairs, I’m so envious. I loooove him. Did you ask him if you could take a photo of him holding up a sign saying he loved me back?

A: Yeah, right.

PCN:  OK, let’s go back to the way the acting awards were presented. When the first group of five came out, that was a nice surprise. But then I caught on. I’d seen Kevin Kline walk the red carpet so I thought, “A ha! I’ll bet he’s one of the five presenting Best Supporting Actor!” They also kept cutting to reaction shots of Sir Anthony Hopkins and Sir Ben Kingsley so I figured those were two Best Actor presenters right there.

A: That makes me mad! Did they really show them on TV before they presented?

PCN:  Yes. In closeups. 

A: That makes me mad, because the coordinators worked so hard to keep everyone a secret by having them not walk the red carpet, going in through the back entrance, seated far away from the front row. Joel Grey was practically in the mezzanine so that you couldn’t see him. That’s really sh*tty that you could see them from home before we could reveal them.

PCN:  Well, I never saw Christopher Walken or Robert DeNiro so those were nice surprises for me. Speaking of being seated far from the front row, where were all those adorable little Slumdog babies placed?

A: In the mezzanine. But that’s standard for non-nominated cast members who are in nominated films.

PCN:  What were they like?

A: I don’t even know how to describe them. It’s very touching because it’s been such a long road for them to be at the show. The Oscars, for me, were heightened by the joy they exuded. I’ve never been as excited for a bunch of people I don’t know to win an award as I was for these children. They were glowing, on top of the world, overjoyed. It was pure. And the littlest Salim [Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail] was asked to carry the Oscar all night. It was so cute.

PCN:  All right, I have to ask because people want to know. Was someone assigned to keep Brad & Angelina and Jennifer Aniston apart?

A: Not that I know of, but there was a close call. Brad and Angelina had left during a commercial break. They went out to the lobby, they were just hanging out, having wine when Jennifer came walking towards them from the other direction. People gasped and freaked out, “Oh no! What’s gonna happen? What’s gonna happen?!” But then Jennifer just turned and went backstage before she got to them. I don’t know if she saw them or someone warned her but she was only a few feet away from them.

PCN:  It probably would’ve been okay. I think the whole Jen vs. Angie thing is stupid. They probably all moved on years ago.

A: Jennifer was a social butterfly. She was very cute. At one point, when she was coming out of the bathroom, she saw Sophia Loren and was like, “Hi!” but then her dress got caught in the bathroom door. She was, like, “This is not a good time for my dress to be caught in the door.” It was a very Rachel moment. 

At another moment, my jaw just dropped because in this one small room, Jennifer, Reese Witherspoon, Sophia Loren, Halle Berry, Marion Cotillard and Nicole Kidman were all getting their makeup done. I just could not handle it. 

PCN: That’s really something. Now, I know things look different on TV so who was best dressed in person? 

A: Miley Cyrus. 

PCN:  What?! Ugh.

A: You don’t like her?

PCN: She kept telling everyone on the red carpet she hopes to be back at the Oscars next year and get something for The Hannah Montana Movie. I mean, Dream on, honey. 

A: That is gross.

PCN: So, who else looked good?

A: Marion Cotillard looked really good. Diane Lane—I love her. Nicole Kidman and Penelope were very “them,” wearing what we normally expect of them so there were no fashion risks. Robert Downey Jr. looked like he did in The Pick-Up Artist [his 1987 comedy with Molly Ringwald].

PCN:  He did look like he aged backwards! How about worst dressed?

A: Shirley MacLaine. What was that?! For males, Mickey Rourke and Adrien Brody. 

PCN:  Adrien Brody could’ve done the Joaquin impersonation with that beard instead of Ben Stiller. 

A: Really.

PCN:  Overall, did everything go as planned?

A: I would say so. I thought it went really well. 

Q: When did you first hear Chris Brown and Rihanna had dropped out as performers?

A: At about 2:30 or 2:40. [The show started at 5 p.m. PT]

Q: What happened?

A: There was mad scrambling. One of the stage managers had to revamp the listing of performers for the day. They had to move talent around. Someone had said [Brown and Rihanna] were in a car accident; that was a rumor that was going around early in the day. It wasn’t ’til the end of the night when a member of the press told a production person what happened that we were like, “Oh my gosh, is that really what happened?!”

Q: After the mad scrambling and revamping of talent lineup, was there another quick run-through?

A: There wasn’t time because the red carpet opened at 3 p.m.

Q: Were people nervous about whether things would go well?

A: They were pretty indifferent. Awards shows are generally always high stress and high pressure.  Whether it be a presenter being late or canceling last minute, there is pretty much always some sort of last-minute change. Changes are not as extreme as what happened Sunday but the main focus of awards show people is to adapt.

Q: OK, let’s talk about other things. Did you have a plan in place if M.I.A. had gone into labor at the show?

A: There was a gurney in the back. I wasn’t sure what/whom it was for but we’ve never had one there during past shows.

Q: Any backstage scoop you want to share about anything?

A: Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift were adorable. They were joined at the hip, went everywhere together. Miley got starstruck when Gwyneth walked by. By the way, the announcer should’ve said “Grammy-nominee Gwyneth Paltrow” [in the Best Spoken Word Album for Children category for her reading of Brown Bear and Friends] when she came out to introduce Radiohead.

Justin Timberlake’s people were so pretentious. All the talent had signs on their dressing room door with their names on it and someone from Timberlake’s team took it off as soon as he got inside, like they were afraid people would know where Justin was and rush his room or something. But he was in the same hallway as U2, Sir Paul (McCartney), John Mayer, Miley, Coldplay, Stevie Wonder, Jay-Z and all their signs were still up! It just made my colleagues’ jobs harder when they had to locate Justin and do it quickly.

Q: That does sound annoying. If I were walking down that hallway, I’d be rushing U2′s, Coldplay’s, and Sir Paul’s dressing rooms, not JT’s!

Now, I gotta ask the inevitable fashion question. Who looked the best?

A: Fran Drescher looked really good, Katy Perry’s dress was gorgeous, and Sheryl Crow was flawless.