My Own Awards and Reactions to 2009 Golden Globes

Overall, I enjoyed the show. Some deserving people won (click here for list of winners) and there were some entertaining moments so I thought I’d hand out the first annual “Nerdies,” my own awards for the event’s highlights and lowlights.

Most Valuable Player: Hands down, no contest, in a category all by himself was Ricky Gervais. He was supposed to just introduce a film clip (of Happy-Go-Lucky), which everyone else managed to do quickly then leave. But Gervais would not go quietly. Drinking beer on stage, he turned his moment into a whole comedy routine with the funniest lines of the evening. “Shush, listen,” he began, admonishing the noisy crowd. “How rude are you lot?” He went on to complain about how “annoying” it was he wasn’t nominated for anything, which he thinks “detracts from the credibility of any awards show.” He then vowed, “That’s the last time I have sex with 200 middle-aged journalists [there are only 95 in the HFPA]…The Europeans with the wispy beards. The men are worse.” Gervais killed at the Emmys last September with a routine heckling Steve Carell; why won’t someone let him host the Oscars (or anything) already?

Favorite New Coined Word: “Schemeplay.” Tom Brokaw meant to say “screenplay” while introducing the Frost/Nixon script but stumbled and a great new word was born.

Favorite New Coined Phrase: “Post-racial.” Here’s how Tracy Morgan used it in a sentence—“Welcome to post-racial America. I’m the face of post-facial America. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!”

Best Sucking Up to the HFPA: Tina Fey, when she won best comedic TV actress for 30 Rock. “I’ve always loved the Hollywood Foreign Press. As a kid, I had all the Hollywood Foreign Press action figures.” She then went on to address all her alleged internet haters. “Babsonlacrosse, you can suck it. Dianefan, you can suck it. Cougarletter, you can really suck it ’cause all year you’ve been after me. All year.” This was already funny when I thought she was making up the haters (how can there be any?!), but when I found out she was addressing real haters who post on TheEnvelope.com, it became brilliant!

Most I-Have-a-Dream-ish Speech: Ari Folman, director of Israel’s Waltz with Bashir, which won Best Foreign Film. He dedicated the award to the “eight beautiful production babies born in the tiny studio in Tel Aviv” during the four years it took to make the movie. Folman hopes that “one day, when they grow up, they watch this film together and they see the war that takes place in the film, it’ll look to them like an ancient video game that has nothing to do with their lives whatsoever.”

Best I-Told-You-So Moment: Colin Farrell winning best comedic film actor. For the last year, I’ve been raving about In Bruges to anyone who’d listen (only 2 people so far). I even wrote about it here. I was stoked when it got 3 Globes noms but thought its chances of winning were nil since it seems no one’s seen it. Farrell’s win got the loudest scream of the evening from me (I was excited about some other winners, too, but their victories were more expected). Farrell was humble and eloquent, describing the movie best by saying it’s “simultaneously profound and beautifully comic and wonderfully painful, filled with delightful remorse and, more than anything else, the sweetest, sweetest redemptive qualities.” Rent it already!

Most Honest, Unscripted Personal Admission: Farrell again, explaining why he was sniffling while presenting Best Foreign Film. “I have a cold. It’s not the other thing it used to be,” referencing the reason he went to rehab.

Second Best I-Told-You-So Moment: When the show ended without The Curious Case of Benjamin Button winning anything. I gave the film an unenthusiastic review last November and some people (who hadn’t seen it) were not happy with me. I don’t hate the movie but have maintained it’s not exceptional. Looks like the HFPA agreed and I think the Academy will, too. It’ll get some nominations but shouldn’t win in the major categories.

What were the best and worst moments for you? Comment away then come back later today for my fashion round-up and after-party reports!