OK, Hollywood week needs to get here already. Tonight’s audition show was uninspiring and predictable. You could just tell who was going to make it or not by the little intro segments on some of the singers.
The tryouts we saw:
- Tiffany Shedd, a platinum blonde who said she’d have a positive attitude no matter what the judges said. Well, after Simon (unnecessarily) compared her to a donkey, she trash-talked all the way out the door and beyond. Nice.
- Joanna Pacitti, this year’s Carly Smithson. Like season 7’s Irish rocker, Pacitti had once had a record deal (with A&M) but for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. She even looks a little like Smithson, with black hair and blue eyes, though more petite and tattoo-free. She sang Pat Benatar’s “We Belong.” Her voice isn’t as big as Smithson’s but it was good enough to get her to Hollywood.
- Mark Mudd, a descendant of Dr. Samuel Mudd, the man who spent 10 years in prison for aiding and abetting John Wilkes Booth while he was on the lam after shooting President Lincoln. Apparently because of this, the phrase “your name is Mudd” became an insult. Mark hoped to redeem the family name but, sadly, after a hoe-down rendition of George Jones’s “White Lightning,” he failed.
- Brent Keith Smith, a cute guy who rocked a pretty decent version of Bad Company’s “Can’t Get Enough.” Yup, he’s Hollywood-bound.
- A montage of bad acts, including a girl who sang like she was a Lollipop Guild member and a guy who painted his face black and white then wore sunglasses over the whole mess. Train wrecks, all.
- Matt Giraud, a young Justin Timberlake lookalike and kind of soundalike who did Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Wanna Be.” Let me tell you—I’ve tried singing that song in karaoke and I always sucked ’cause it’s tough but Giraud did just fine and got a golden ticket.
- Ross Plavsic, who called himself an academic. Did he know this isn’t Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Like last night’s Akilah, he studied the shapes of mouths and palates but it didn’t help him one bit.
- Alexis Grace, this year’s Brooke White. She’s a blonde, guitar-playing, fresh-faced, nice girl who stays at home to take care of a little kid (though she’s the mom and Brooke was only the nanny). She’s petite but when she opened her mouth to sing Aretha’s “Dr. Feelgood,” a surprisingly big voice came roaring out. She’s going to Hollywood with some makeover tips from Kara: “Don’t wear pink” and “Dirty yourself up.”
- Aaron Williamson, the happiest contestant of the night, who oddly sang CCR’s “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” like one long primal scream therapy session. He didn’t make it but remained a class act even in the face of rejection.
- Rebecca Garcia, who messed up “Before He Cheats” even though she literally wore the lyrics on her arm. Kara thought Garcia was being funny since she was voted “Most Humorous” in high school but Garcia said she was serious and started to cry. Kara said she felt bad for being mean but I didn’t buy it for one second. I think Kara was putting on an act and trying to be clever but it backfired and made her look like a jerk.
- After a montage of a handful of good singers, we get to the Tearjerker of the Day: 18-year-old Leneshe Young. I love this girl. She was homeless during her childhood, raised in shelters by a single mom but she was spunky, confident, adorable and sang a song she wrote “a hundred percent.” Her singing was groovy, the song was good and she completely won me over. Sob story or no, I’m rooting for her.
Leneshe was the only real standout for me from Louisville. By this time last year, I’d chosen Michael Johns (“the hot Aussie”) and Brooke White (“that nice, blonde nanny”) as frontrunners. If I had to call it now, I’d say Emily Wynne-Hughes, Casey Carlson, Leneshe, Deanna Brown and Danny Gokey will probably crack the Top 24.
Who are your faves so far? What do you think of Kara? Is she helpful or turning into another Simon?
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I grew up in the D.C. area. Every time I went into the city as a kid, I couldn’t understand why tourists would freak out when they saw the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial. I’d roll my eyes as I watched them furiously snap away with their cameras and think, “What is the big deal?! One’s a boring tower and the other is Lincoln sitting in a chair.”
Ah, what a foolish child I was. I totally took these things for granted because they were in my backyard and I could see them any time I wanted. Yesterday, watching the inaugural celebration on HBO from my living room in California, I fully appreciated the power and majestic presence of these landmarks and wished I was there. Though the skies were cloudy and the temperature frigid, the structures served as gleaming backdrops for the readings and songs presented by an all-star lineup.
“Higher Ground,” but only when Stevie Wonder started singing. Usher began the song, then Shakira kicked in. Oooh, I love Shakira but this song was all wrong for her voice. As the two young hotties danced around the stage with Stevie on keyboards, I kept shouting at the TV, “Why won’t they let Stevie sing?! Don’t make him sit in the back of the stage!” But then Wonder picked up the song and everything was as it should be. Dude, he’s still got it. He showed the young ‘uns how it’s done.
U2. I knew their song “Pride (In the Name of Love)” was inspired by Martin Luther King Jr. but when Samuel L. Jackson introduced them after talking about Rosa Parks and how Dr. King never got to see this day, the 24-year-old song took on new poignancy and made me cry. No one can sing like Bono, whom I think has the most searing voice in the business.
The Boss and the plucky 89-year-old Pete Seeger (wearing only a flannel shirt in freezing temps!) leading a sing-a-long of “This Land is Your Land.” The camera showed George Lucas in the crowd heartily singing along. It was somehow heartening for me to see Lucas standing in the crowd like everyone else instead of sitting in some VIP seats for rich people.
Most Valuable Player: Hands down, no contest, in a category all by himself was Ricky Gervais. He was supposed to just introduce a film clip (of Happy-Go-Lucky), which everyone else managed to do quickly then leave. But Gervais would not go quietly. Drinking beer on stage, he turned his moment into a whole comedy routine with the funniest lines of the evening. “Shush, listen,” he began, admonishing the noisy crowd. “How rude are you lot?” He went on to complain about how “annoying” it was he wasn’t nominated for anything, which he thinks “detracts from the credibility of any awards show.” He then vowed, “That’s the last time I have sex with 200 middle-aged journalists [there are only 95 in the HFPA]…The Europeans with the wispy beards. The men are worse.” Gervais killed at the Emmys last September with a routine heckling Steve Carell; why won’t someone let him host the Oscars (or anything) already?
Best Sucking Up to the HFPA: Tina Fey, when she won best comedic TV actress for 30 Rock. “I’ve always loved the Hollywood Foreign Press. As a kid, I had all the Hollywood Foreign Press action figures.” She then went on to address all her alleged internet haters. “Babsonlacrosse, you can suck it. Dianefan, you can suck it. Cougarletter, you can really suck it ’cause all year you’ve been after me. All year.” This was already funny when I thought she was making up the haters (how can there be any?!), but when I found out she was addressing real haters who post on TheEnvelope.com, it became brilliant!




