Events I’d Like to See in the Olympics

Like the rest of the world, I’ve been watching and enjoying the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. I must admit, though, that I don’t get some of the sports. Curling? The Biathlon, which involves shooting & skiing because you might want to do some hunting while going down the bunny slope?

I started thinking about activities which would really impress me if someone can complete quickly and came up with the following:

  • Getting through airport security when you’re behind people with lace-up shoes and babies
  • Totaling receipts for tax itemizations
  • Driving 2 miles on the 405 freeway on a Friday at 5 p.m.
  • Getting through to a live agent when calling the DMV
  • Putting together an IKEA computer station
  • Opening the vacuum-packed plastic packages electronics & toys come in

What alternative events would you like to see?



  • Reply
    Naomi Johnson
    February 21, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    I’d like to see perfect folding of fitted sheets.

  • Reply
    February 21, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    You and Naomi are too funny. Me? I’d like to see people skiing backwards down a slope… each shooting at the other competitors. Last one standing, wins. I call it the JB Slalom (as in Bond… James Bond).

  • Reply
    February 21, 2010 at 7:03 pm


    Nothing’s coming to mind at the moment as I’m basking in the glow of the US Hockey team’s win over Canada!

  • Reply
    February 21, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    *Deep Sea Fishing
    *Sky Diving
    *Tug Of War

  • Reply
    Rodney North
    February 21, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    Skiing backward is an interesting idea. As a ski instructor many many moons ago I’d do that all the time so I could both watch my pupils and instruct ’em at the same time (something ya’ can’t do when trailing from behind.) But this would add just one more insanely dangerous sport when there’s too many already (like the luge which involves hurtling at 90 mph down an icy chute. It is, I suppose, 80% gravity, 5% nerve, 5% skill, & 10% luck).

    How about snow-shoe races? OK – muy boring, but at least it’d be a legitimate winter sport (or at least a real sport-ish thing, as I don’t suppose anyone is actually snow-shoe racing these days). A bonus would be a finish measured in whole seconds in lieu of hundredths of a second. After all, in so many of these competitions today the space between 1st and 4th place (ie no medal) is often like the difference ‘tween 100% and 99.8% and it seems arbitrary who happens to come out a hair ahead on a particular race.

    Finally, how about making the opening ceremony extravaganza itself a competition, with real, live judging. Admittedly this is already the case informally, and the Beijing Olympics will be the gold medal winner for years to come, but it would be fun to wait for the judges’ score of each song and dance number.

    • Reply
      February 22, 2010 at 5:59 am

      I’ve never snow-shoed, but I imagine it looks a bit like March of the Penguins. I think there’d be some entertainment value in watching a race of waddlers. *grin*

      Scoring for the opening ceremonies? Hmmm, maybe that’s why Simon’s leaving American Idol…

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 12:09 am

    HA,HA!! That was great!

    I would personally award a medal specifically to people who still insist on writing checks at the grocery store. If they can get through the line quicker than someone using cash, debit or credit card, then I will give them two gold medals. What is with these people? They wait until they are given the total before even pulling out their checkbook! What, the National Enquirer headlines were so distracting that they forgot they were going to write a check? And why would a store even take a check? If they have a bank account, then they were issued a debit card. If they aren’t using the debit card, then it’s probably because they don’t have the money in the bank at the time!!

    Yes, this might be too fresh an incident for me to sound rational….

    • Reply
      February 22, 2010 at 6:03 am

      Take a deep cleansing breath, EIREGO. 😉 I don’t mind that they write checks, but I know what you mean about them waiting until they get up to the checkout.

  • Reply
    Shell Sherree
    February 22, 2010 at 1:00 am

    Hahaha ~ you’re all a hoot!!

    PCN, sorry, make that ‘the rest of the world minus one’, as I haven’t been watching, though of course have demonstrated a motherly pride in any Aussie winning a medal of any description in such a thing as the Winter Olympics.

  • Reply
    February 22, 2010 at 11:30 am

    I think we should have an event for road work crews. The crew who could finish whatever they are doing in front of my condo within the amount of time they SHOULD be finished would automatically qualify. Major penalties would be given for using a jackhammer or bulldozer before 7AM.

    Alright, that sounds a bit angry.

    How about an event for older people? You are locked in a gymnasium at your 25th high school reunion. No one gets a name tag. The person to correctly identify the most people wins the medal.

    Come on, I’d watch that.

  • Reply
    Pop Culture Nerd
    February 22, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Naomi—I’d like to see that, too!

    lp13—I’ll cue the Bond music now. Awesome!

    Rodney—What?! You used to ski downhill backwards? What else haven’t you told me? Snowshoe-racing would be funny; people with clown training would have an advantage.

    Christine—Nothing can beat our 1980 victory in Lake Placid over the Russians but I’ll take this!

    Bailey—Oh my gosh, I’d fly to Vancouver right now and get front-row tickets if there were a dodgeball or kickball competition.

    EIREGO—Yes, what Christine said. Hope you got out from behind Enquirer-reading check-writer safely.

    Shell–You’d be proud even if an Aussie wins in curling?

    SCRIPTPIMP—Haha! I like the high-school-reunion idea! I think I’d lose.

  • Reply
    February 26, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    I am thinking (deritative of biathlon) paintball shooting while skiing giant slalom….have some barricades to hide behind, but still must make all of the gates. Way better than shooting at targets!

    • Reply
      Pop Culture Nerd
      February 27, 2010 at 9:43 am

      I’d totally watch a paintball competition! Heck, I’d train so I could qualify for the next Olympics.

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