The Right Movie for Your Mother

Since this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day, I’ve been thinking about what to get my mom. Which led me to thinking about movies about mothers and how DVDs would make great gifts.

But there are different kinds of mothers and you can’t just buy The Hurt Locker for someone who loves Sandra Bullock comedies, or Avatar for a woman who likes good movies.

Therefore, I’ve devised the short quiz below to help you to determine what kind of mother you have and the corresponding flick she might enjoy.

1. In high school, if she found out you were being bullied, she would:

a) strap on a giant machine gun and go confront the offending kid’s parents

b) call up the bully’s house and make snarky comments to put the kid in his/her place

c) sing a song about how you should send out an S.O.S. next time it happens

d) sue the bully’s family

e) tell you that suffering is part of life

2. If you got bad grades, she would:

a) say you have MUCH bigger things to worry about, like killer robots

b) say, “Oh well, at least you’re not pregnant!”

c) tell you it’s okay, you’ll always have a job helping her run the family business

d) lecture you long and hard about how you might end up in a trailer park with babies by different daddies if you don’t get your act together

e) tell you not to worry since you’d be married by 18 anyway. In fact, she’d already arranged your marriage for you.

3. Her relationship guideline is:

a) Make sure someone’s not from the future before you sleep with them

b) You should wait until marriage to have kids, or at least until you’re out of your teens

c) Don’t date 3 people at once

d) You should date people with nice jobs, like in a law firm, but bikers can be nice, too

e) You must marry Asian!

4. Her career advice:

a) Acquire leadership skills and learn how to use heavy weaponry

b) It’s cool if you just want to hang out, write songs and play guitar with your geeky friend

c) Don’t run your own business because you’ll work all night and work all day and still have nothing left

d) Work hard, stick to your convictions, but wearing a good push-up bra can’t hurt

e) What career? Your job is to have babies and take care of your husband

5. Her life philosophy:

a) Trust no one

b) Never lose your sense of humor

c) Be open about your past, even if you were a little slutty

d) Don’t be a f*cking hypocrite

e) Small feet are better

If your answers are:

Mostly a’s—Your mom would love a copy of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. She’ll enjoy another viewing of it while she polishes her M16s.

Mostly b’s—I’d recommend a DVD of Juno as a thank-you for all those times she stood by you and didn’t judge even though you screwed up.

Mostly c’s—Your mother will feel a kinship with Meryl Streep’s character in Mamma Mia! And since she’s been working so hard, maybe you can throw in plane tickets to the Greek islands, too.

Mostly d’s—Send your mom a copy of Erin Brockovich with a card telling her she’ll always look fab in tight skirts and heels.

Mostly e’s—Invite your mother over for dinner, making sure the table is set properly and the soup isn’t too salty, and then present her afterward with a DVD of Joy Luck Club and the latest pictures of your 6 children, showing them playing piano or chess.

What will you give your mom?



  • Reply
    May 3, 2010 at 10:05 am

    Erin Brockovich it is!

    Thanks, PCN, I was getting a bit sick of sending flowers every year anyway.

  • Reply
    May 3, 2010 at 10:09 am

    And what about us men who didn’t have a mother who spoke to us as though we were girls?

    Are we stuck sending flowers and candy again this year?

  • Reply
    May 3, 2010 at 10:17 am

    If it wasn’t for this post, I would have forgotten about mother’s day once again. Anyways, seriously, a good idea that a lot of mothers seem to appreciate is the DVD boxes of british detective stories like The Murders in Midsomer.

  • Reply
    May 3, 2010 at 10:25 am

    It’s THIS weekend? Man, I thought it was LAST weekend! Thanks for the heads up, maybe I’ll be on time with stuff this year. LOL!

    Got my mother a dvd of Murder She Wrote last time. Should have sent one of Women’s Murder Club. My mom’s feisty!

  • Reply
    Naomi Johnson
    May 3, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Mom rarely watches television or movies any more, her short term memory loss doesn’t allow her to follow the stories. So she’ll get either jewelry or plants.

  • Reply
    May 3, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    This was such a fab post, Elyse! Too funny. My Mexican mother’s answers would have been a little different, though:
    1) the baseball bat will be by the door as you leave for school in the morning.
    2) she wouldn’t say anything… her look would be enough to get the message across.
    3) “You can date anyone you want, mijo. Just don’t propose marriage till you clear it with me.”
    4) “You’re going to have a career? Ay dios mio! Hay milagros!”
    5) Read a book!

    Thanks, PCN.

  • Reply
    Shell Sherree
    May 3, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    Oh, what a lovely deft touch with Avatar, PCN! Mine’s kind of a cross between Mamma Mia! and Erin Brokovich. As it happens, we’re going to a musical as her gift, so we’re on the right track!

  • Reply
    May 6, 2010 at 7:37 am

    My mom’s response to #3 & #4 was the same. She used to joke, for the most part ;-), that once we graduated from college, maybe got a post-grad degree, and started our chosen career, then we could date. Good thing she wasn’t serious or she would have had a cardiac, by now. Ha! Her life philosophy for us was always EXPLORE, never cease to learn, and remember to have fun!

    If I could get my mother, and my father, anything it would be to get them to take a real vacation. Not a trip tied to a business meeting or a family function or responsibility, but a true DO-NOT-DISTURB kind of trip. In the meantime, I’ll settle for dinner out and a movie that would make them laugh until they cried.

    This was fun post, Elyse! Btw, love that about a boy and Love, Actually are in your stack of DVDS! 2 of my favorites!

  • Reply
    Jen Forbus
    May 9, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    Very cute! Your answer choices made me laugh out loud. Since I was the odd ball child, she was always trying to get me to go out more, study less, obsess less. If I came home with a bad grade, she might have high fived me! But she was adament that both my sisters and I would have the skills to support ourselves since her two sisters ended up in abusive marriages they had trouble getting out of.

    Since I’m usually my mom’s movie buddy, I know that any chick flick will make her happy, no matter who cheesy or bad! 😉

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