During the dog days of summers, I have a hard time finding interesting shows to watch. When that happens, I find myself drifting to the Game Show Network because they have re-runs of old TV game shows. My favorite is Family Feud, especially the really old episodes with Richard Dawson as host, because it’s not just entertainment, it’s kind of a sociological study. In a 1970s episode, long before political correctness kicked in, Dawson insisted that an entire Japanese family bow to him. (My jaw dropped open and soup almost dribbled out when I saw this.) In another episode, Dawson kept speaking in an exaggerated, Apu-like accent to an Indian family who had lived in the States for 30 years and spoke perfect English.
But Dawson’s ignorance isn’t why I tune in; I do it for the contestants’ wacky answers. Perfectly normal-looking people say the craziest things when the clock is ticking and they’re trying to beat the buzzer. They reveal way more about themselves than they probably intended and sometimes I get the feeling there really will be a feud among family members once the taping is over.
For a few Monday chuckles, I’ve compiled a list of some the funniest answers I’ve heard:
Question: Tell me a man’s name that starts with the letter “K.” Answer: Kentucky Fried Chicken!
Q: Name an expression that contains the word “foot” in it. A: Foot in your behind!
Q: Tell me a birthday men dread the most. A: Their wife’s!
Q: Name something people take with them to the beach. A: Turkey!
Q: Name a type of movie that describes your love life. A: Horror!
Q: Tell me something your neighbor has that you wish you had. A: A beautiful wife!
Q: Name a part of the body that gets bigger as adults get older. A: Penis!
Q: Name something women borrow from each other. A: Husbands!
Q: Name something a woman needs before she gets married. A: Pap smear!
Q: Tell me a beverage you drink out of a can: A: Wine!
Q: Name a yellow fruit. A: Orange!
Q: Tell me a kind of wood used to make furniture. A: Table!
Q: Name something you accidentally leave on all night. A: Your bra!
Q: Tell me what section of the newspaper you turn to first. A: Coupons!
Q: Name something associated with Ping-Pong. A: Asians!