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CD Review: Kelly Clarkson’s ALL I EVER WANTED

One of my pet peeves is driving along next to someone who’s got their stereo cranked up so loud, I can feel the sound vibrations thumping through my chest wall, jacking my heart into a near-attack. I mean, does anyone need to listen to music that loudly? Well, yes, if it’s Kelly Clarkson’s new CD. Listening to All I Ever Wanted (dropping March 10), I just wanted to open the sunroof, turn the stereo up to 11 and go roaring down the freeway, pumping my fists in the air and hollering, “Hell, yeah, she’s back, baby!”

I’m not going to rehash all that business about her feud with Clive Davis over the direction of her last album, My December. All you need to know is that this one is chock full of catchy hard pop songs that you’d need a lobotomy to get out of your head, even after one listen. Kelly’s having fun here and it’s evident throughout, starting with that cover art, which sets the tone for the collection—it’s bright and bursting with color.

My favorite cuts: “I Do Not Hook Up,” the ridiculously catchy anthem for abstinence, co-written by Katy Perry and Kara DioGuardi, that manages to be both tough and sweet; the funky title track with the thumping beat, R & B feel and searing chorus; “Long Shot,” a staccato-rhythmed cut also co-written by Perry, and the be-boppy, ’60s girl-groupy “I Want You,” where Clarkson is all bouncy bubble gum and not the least bit moody or angsty. It’s a different sound for her but it’s fun and it works.

There are a couple of pretty ballads, too. “Cry” is reminiscent of “Breakaway” and “Already Gone” slightly echoes Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U.” Less talented singers sometimes bore me when they slow things down because they end up revealing the shallowness of their vocals. Clarkson has no such trouble. Slowed down, funked up, stretched out, whatever—her blazing voice can do pretty much whatever she wants it to.

Lyrics-wise, there’s nothing groundbreaking here. Most of the songs deal with relationships—pining for a guy or trying to get over a guy. But hey, Clarkson’s not going for songwriter of the year (she co-wrote some of the songs). What she proves with this album is that she can enjoy herself while still giving the public what it wants.

Nerd verdict: All you want in a Kelly Clarkson album

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8's Top 13 Finalists!

Tonight’s wild card show went mercifully fast, with a lot of business wrapped up in an hour instead of stretched out to two. Eight wild card performers competed for the remaining three spots in the top 12 and after a commercial break, the judges, who obviously had their minds made up before the show, announced who should go through. They threw in a little twist by picking four people instead of three but I say “little” because there really wasn’t any chance they wouldn’t put Anoop through after all the superlatives they threw at his “My Prerogative” performance.

The other finalists selected tonight were Megan Corkrey (yay!), Matt Giraud and Jasmine Murray. Those are pretty good choices but I’m sad my girl Jesse Langseth didn’t make it. As usual, she was smoking hot (singing “Tell Me Something Good”), the performer with the most confidence and stage presence. Somebody needs to snap that girl up for a recording contract.

Which rejected wild card contestant did you think should’ve advanced to the next round? Vote below and see if others agree with you!

[polldaddy poll=1429873]

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 — Group 3 Finalists & Wild Card Contestants Revealed!

Here’s what you want to know: Scott MacIntyre, Jorge Nunez and Lil Rounds were voted into the top 12 by the public. After that was settled, the judges picked 8 previously rejected contestants for the Wild Card round, which takes place tomorrow.

All my faves were given another chance—yay! I’m talking about Anoop, Megan Corkrey and Jesse Langseth. I was so psyched even the selection of Tatiana was only a minor damper (though my mouth did drop open and my chicken almost fell out). Gross, I know, but so’s having that girl forced upon us again.

I’m keeping this short so I can go do my finger-stretching exercises to prepare for some furious dialin’ action tomorrow night. ‘Noop, Meg and Jess have got to advance to the next round. They’re the most unique from this bunch so c’mon, America, don’t let them down again! If you vote Tatiana through, I will hunt you down!

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 — Group 3 of Semi-Finalists

During the first half of this show, everyone was so boring I felt like we didn’t need this group at all. There was enough rejected talent from the first two groups (Anoop, Jesse, Megan, for starters) to stock the top 12. It wasn’t until Felicia Barton came out to sing Alicia Keys’s “No One” (she was 8th) that the show kinda got started for me. But let’s start at the beginning.

Von Smith, the loudest kid in town, went first. He sang “You’re All I Need to Get By” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell and was surprisingly, thankfully restrained (I can cancel my appointment for the ear doctor tomorrow). He’s got a good voice and is awfully cute—I kept thinking Donny Osmond circa 1976—but he’s just not special enough for me to root for.
Taylor Vaifanua covered Alicia Keys’s “If I Ain’t Got You” and made a huge stinkin’ mess of it. It was too low for her in the beginning and then too high when she got to the chorus. Oddly, she was passionless throughout her performance but then cried rivers after she was done. If she’d put that much emotion into the song, maybe it would’ve been better.
Alex Wagner-Trugman. I actually like this kid’s “dorkiness” but oof, that performance was all wrong. He sang Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues” while dancing and kicking over the mike stand, which didn’t fit the song’s content at all. His voice isn’t bad but I don’t think he had any idea what he was singing about. Simon said it best when he said, “You’re like a little hamster trying to be a tiger.”
Arianna Afsar didn’t like getting this far just for being “cute as a button” so she attempted ABBA’s “The Winner Takes It All.” Ooh, no—bad song choice. Afsar doesn’t have enough life experience for this song, though her voice is powerful and has lots of range. The slow, dreary arrangement did her no favors and the poor girl looked like she was going to cry during the judges’ comments. I thought I was gonna cry if tonight’s show didn’t get much better.
Ju’Not Joyner turned Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah” into a smoof, R&B slow jam. It was nice but not electrifying enough to make me start dialing. He was entertaining when he admitted he’d gotten a cortisone shot right in his butt and that it hurt.
Kristen McNamara spunked up Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason” by making it more uptempo. I like her big, booming voice and sassy personality but not her Stepford-wife look.
While listening to Nathaniel Marshall butchering Meatloaf’s “I Will Do Anything for Love,” I thought, “I would do anything if you’d just stop the torture.” His voice just doesn’t have enough heft to carry off this big song. He was nowhere near Meatloaf territory, more like a ham sandwich. The entire performance with the gawky dancing was so disastrous it would’ve scored a 10 on the Richter scale if it were an earthquake. Consider this a flood warning ’cause he’s gonna let loose the waterworks when he gets kicked off tomorrow.
Felicia Barton, who got brought back after Joanna Pacitti’s disqualification, sang Alicia Keys’ “No One” and made me wonder what the dickens the judges were thinking when they sent her home originally. This girl was hot! Her voice cracked a little and she went off-key on a few notes but whoo, she’s got pipes! Paula said, “Isn’t it funny how the universe works?” I thought, “No, it’s funny how YOU work, dismissing her in the first place.” Sheesh.
Scott MacIntyre covered “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby and the Range. Sorry—I think the judges are being overly nice to him because he’s legally blind, which is rather patronizing. He seems like a nice guy but his voice is bland and utterly forgettable. No way I’d recognize it if I heard it on the radio (like I would Kelly’s or Carrie’s or Clay’s) but the judges raved about how he moved mountains (what?!) and his passion and how much he wanted this. Doesn’t everyone?
Kendall Beard sang Martina McBride’s “This One’s for the Girls.” Well, at least she knew her audience. I think she’ll advance because she’s very pretty, dressed well and little girls probably love her the way they love Barbie dolls and princesses. There’s nothing wrong with that—I’m just a little old for it. She sounded decent enough but came across processed like a beauty pageant contestant.
When Jorge Nunez said he selected Elton John’s “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me,” I groaned. Why do so many contestants pick this tedious song? I thought Jorge’s passionate voice deserved something spicier. But wait—he blew it up! He injected some fire and emotion into it and was easily the best male vocal of the night. By the way, what’s with the fuss about his accent? I love it and hope he speaks and sings however he does naturally. Also, Drama Queen Nate can take lessons from Jorge on how to cry endearingly on camera instead of making us want to slap him.
Lil Rounds. I’ll admit—she looked great and sang great, but I wasn’t blown away by her rendition of Mary J. Blige’s “Be Without You.” She was technically on point but her interpretation didn’t give me goosebumps or evoke any kind of emotion in me. Remember when Fantasia sang “Summertime”? Or even when Jason Castro sang “Hallelujah” last year? Lil never makes me feel like that. It was clever how she worked in the line “Call this show if you can’t be without me” and the judges have been force-feeding her to us so she’ll probably make the top 12.

In the end, best for me were Felicia, Jorge and, technically, Lil. I wish there were room for Kristen, too.

Who did you vote for? Where you as bored by this show as I was? Post in the comments!

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No Limits on the Horizon for U2

So, U2’s dropping a new album Tuesday (download it from Amazon for only $3.99!) and I’m excited, having been a fan since 1980. But when it came to doing a review, I knew the best person for the job would be my contributing writer, Debbie DeNice, the resident U2 expert. I’m telling you—she’s got a Master’s degree in Bonology and has traveled the world to see them live (from the pit, baby). She turned in the following review plus exclusive photos she took herself. Enjoy!

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Uno. Dos. Tres. Cinco. Cinco? Yes, cinco. That’s how many years have passed since U2’s last studio album, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. This Tuesday, U2 will release No Line on the Horizon and Club Vertigo, with the boys who play rock and roll and the girls with crimson nails, has been left behind. We’ve walked out in sexy boots because the future needs a big kiss—along with some love and community.

Most certainly this album is a departure for U2. Listening to it for the first time I thought, “This doesn’t sound like U2.” My second thought was, “This doesn’t sound like anyone other than U2, either.”

They began work on NLOTH with Rick Rubin, a producer known for his “stripped-down” sound, creating naked vocals and bare instrumentation. For whatever reason, their teaming with Rubin ended (two songs completed with Rubin, the cover of the Skids’ “The Saints Are Coming” with Green Day and “Window in the Skies,” were released on U2’s 18 Singles compilation album in 2006) and they reunited with Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois and Steve Lillywhite. Out went the back-to-basics rock ‘n’ roll of Atomic Bomb and in came the experimental, sonically textured NLOTH. And it works. It rocks.

The standout tracks for me: “Magnificent,” “Moment of Surrender,” and “White as Snow.” Each of these songs begins pared down, stripped bare with only an instrument or a vocal. A sonic focal point on the water that slowly amplifies by layering tones, vocals, and instruments, sending rippling sound waves out onto the horizon.

The range of sounds and the texture of tones that NLOTH brings are unexpected and welcomed—‘70s rock, folk music flavor, and a touch of otherworldliness. The sound of a droning organ and a fat, fuzzy, or distorted guitar prove that when it comes to rock musicians, the Edge is in rarefied air. Bono is in brilliant voice and writing some beautiful lyrics that touch on themes of love, war, transcendence and being Bono. While Bono and the Edge get most of the attention, the rhythm section consisting of Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr. kick ass. Funky bass grooves and staccato drumming add to the richness of this aural pleasure that is NLOTH.

This is a transitional album for U2, in the same vein as The Unforgettable Fire and Zooropa. As such, it may take awhile to be fully appreciated but U2 is back. Back with big sounds, big ideas and a big voice, though some may argue—a big mouth. As I heard Bono say recently, “U2 are not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Tour information goes up on their website (U2.com) next Monday, March 9th. Rumor has it they may have some recession-priced tickets so check them out this summer in a city near you. I, for one, can’t wait to meet them in the sound!

Rating: Brilliant

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 — Finalists from Group 2

Let’s get right to the point. The 3 who made the top 12 from this bunch were Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen and Adam Lambert. Save for the choice of Iraheta, who has an incredibly powerful voice and kinda looks like early Kelly Clarkson, I’m hugely disappointed by the results. I thought we’d get 2 girls and 1 guy since the girls were so much better last night. But no, we got 2 guys—1 white bread, 1 cheesy. Together, they couldn’t even make a sandwich because there’s no meat in their performances.

Iraheta was the first one to claim one of those coveted stools after Ryan asked her, Jesse Langseth and Matt Breitzke to come center stage and then the latter two were sent packing. I was hoping against hope that red-hot Jesse would get in but I’m absolutely okay with Iraheta. Iraheta’s got a great voice; she just comes across so unformed and awkward whereas Langseth seems to be the more ready-for-prime-time performer. I hope she comes back for the wild card round.

Next up were Kris Allen, Megan Corkrey, Matt Giraud (looking more like Justin Timberlake every day) and Jeanine Vailes, in short shorts again. That girl ain’t stupid; she knows what her best assets are. But this is American Idol, not Miss America, and her shapely gams couldn’t save her from being eliminated. She’s going home and should stay there. Matt is also gone, but we might see him again, hopefully in front of a piano.

At this point, Kris Allen and Megan Corkrey were left standing together and told that one of them was a finalist. I was thinking, “Oh, no contest. Megan’s got this in the bag.” When Ryan announced it was Kris, I thought he was on crack or maybe April Fool’s came early. To me, this was the night’s most shocking result. Kris seems like a perfectly nice kid but he’s so vanilla and nowhere near as dynamic and compelling as Megan on stage. She’s definitely coming back; I’d put money on that. They need someone unique like her in the finals so that we don’t have a bunch of cookie-cutter contestants.

At this point, there were still about 30 minutes of show left so you knew they weren’t going to reveal the third finalist any time soon. Instead, we got a performance from season 7’s top-five finalist, Brooke White, who looked gorgeous (she was my fave last year). She sang her brand new single, “Hold Up My Heart,” (available on iTunes) which had a nice, ’70s feel to it. It’s not the best song ever but the chorus was pretty catchy. I love her raspy vocals and how she still plays the piano with one bare foot to work the pedals.

OK, back to judgment time. Mishavonna Henson, Jasmine Murray, Kai Kalama, Nick/Norman and Adam Lambert were brought down. There wasn’t one ounce of surprise when Henson, Murray and Kalama were told America just didn’t give them enough love. Which left Nick/Norman and Lambert still standing. This was so gross; I wanted them both gone. But again, after no suspense whatsoever, Lambert was declared the victor and we had to experience his hideous rendition of “Satisfaction” all over again. I might need therapy after being repeatedly subjected to such heavy trauma.

Next week, group 3 will perform: Nathaniel Marshall, Kendall Beard, Taylor Vaifanua, Kristen McNamara, Von Smith, Alex Wagner-Trugman, Felicia Barton, Lil Rounds, Arianna Afsar, Scott MacIntyre, Ju’Not Joyner, and Jorge Nunez. Are you excited about any of these people? I’m not.

Did you agree with the results tonight or were you disgusted like I was? Post me some comments!

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 — First Batch of 12

Oh wow, so many people crashed and burned tonight. I went in thinking, “How can we pick only 3 for the next round?” By the end of the evening, I could barely find three to vote for.

First up was Jackie Tohn, singing Elvis’s “A Little Less Conversation.” I like her raspy vocals a lot and she sure looked like she was having fun working the stage, but those tight “trousers” were just wrong and the song was bad for her. I wouldn’t mind seeing her again in the wild card round but for now, I think there’s gonna be a “little less” Jackie around.

Next was Ricky Braddy‘s turn. He seemed like a really nice country boy but man, I fell asleep during his cover of Leon Russell’s “A Song For You.” He can sing but, like Simon said, he has no charisma or star quality. After a few bars, I decided it’d be more fun to watch my fingernails grow. I think it ends here for Braddy, too.

Third was Alexis Grace performing Aretha’s “I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You.” Wow, this girl has completely transformed herself. During her original audition in Louisville, she was a nice, Brooke White-type and Kara and Paula told her to dirty herself up. She took their advice to heart and became a soulful grrrl. The vixen makeup and pink-streaked hair definitely gave her an edge but, thankfully, her talent remained unchanged. I just love how this little blonde girl would open her mouth and a big black woman’s voice would come out. It’s like she was dubbed by Patti LaBelle. She was my favorite female of the night.

Brent Keith came up next and the crew just didn’t seem to like him. His turn started out with a tech snafu that played Stevie Wright’s instead of his video. Then, after he sang, they played him off the stage with the Idol theme song when he tried to respond to the judges’ comments. This guy is awfully cute with his left dimple and good ol’ boy charm but he lost me with the country song “Hick Town.” I applaud Keith for being true to himself but I don’t have to buy what he’s selling.

Then it was Stevie Wright‘s turn and this girl really disappointed me. Her smoky rendition of “At Last” during her original Phoenix audition was as memorable as this performance of Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” was forgettable. The song just didn’t do anything to showcase her voice. I had such high hopes but won’t vote for her after this debacle. Girl, you do not belong with Idol.

When I heard Anoop was next, I hollered, “Finally! Let’s get this show started!” Man, I love this kid. He’s just so cool. Every time I see that clip of him singing “My Prerogative,” I keep wishing they’d show that whole rousing performance. But then he announced he was gonna sing Monica’s “Angel of Mine.” Wait, what?! I wanted him to funk it UP, show us his personality, not sing some unfamiliar slow song. Well, it wasn’t a great choice but his voice was as smoof as ever and he’d better move on to the next round. He also gets extra points for giving credit to Ricky Minor and the band for making him sound good. I don’t hear a lot of contestants acknowledging the band.

Next, Casey Carlson was at the bat and boy, did she strike out. As a singer, she’s a very pretty girl. She chose The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic,” but everything Casey did was definitely NOT. She vamped her way through the song, touching her neck and winking like she’s Sarah Palin at the VP debate. Her voice was too thin and small to sustain most of the notes and she attempted a misguided run at the very end that couldn’t save this trainwreck. I don’t know what happened because I liked her a lot when she sang “A Thousand Miles” in Kansas City. Sorry, Casey, I’m pretty sure it’s over for you.

Michael Sarver was the eighth singer, rocking out Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Want To Be.” This song needs some ‘tude because it’s like saying “I ain’t changing for nobody” but Sarver just kind of bounced happily through it. It wasn’t a bad performance but not good enough to move on. Paula pointed out that Elliott Yamin, Bo Bice and Chris Richardson also sang it and I thought, “Yeah, and none of them won.”

After Sarver, Ann Marie Boskovich sang “Natural Woman.” When Kelly Clarkson sang this in season one, she slapped America across the face, woke us up and made us pay attention. I was hoping for the same kind of revelation for Boskovich because I thought she had a crystal clear, Carrie-Underwood-crossed-with-a-young-Dolly-Parton voice during her audition. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make this song soar. It needed soul and passion but she gave it a country feel which didn’t work for me. It was frustrating because I really wanted her to move on.

Then it was Stephen Fowler‘s turn and he chose “Rock With You.” I thought, Oooh, this could be good. Wrong. I like the tone of his voice but he slowed it down and bored it up. He was occasionally flat and by the time he got to the line, “When the groove is dead and gone,” I agreed.

Side note: I hate how the judges tell contestants they don’t take enough risks but when they do, they’re told they shouldn’t touch Michael Jackson or Police or Whitney or Mariah songs because those are too hard. These kids have to sing somebody‘s songs because they don’t have their own catalogs. Maybe they should only choose from Paula’s songbook since they’d be more likely to improve on the original versions?

OK, on to the final two. Tatiana surprised me with Whitney’s “Saving All My Love For You” when she did way better than I expected. She impressively hit some high notes and afterwards, was demure and kept her mouth shut during the judges’ comments. Simon and the gang were confused and tried to goad her into doing her wacky laugh and exhibiting her over-the-top behavior and I was screaming, “No! Why are you inciting the crazy?!” Thankfully, she didn’t go there. I think she’s been studying her tapes from the past weeks, thought, “Wow, I’m a freak” and tried to redeem herself. But her ladylike behavior came too late and I’d be surprised if she makes the top three.

Danny Gokey brought up the rear as the last contestant tonight. I groaned when he said he’d sing Mariah’s “Hero.” That song is overwrought and overused. But Gokey just stood there, Archuleta-style, and sang it beautifully. He didn’t need to prance around the stage to keep us entertained. I wondered why I was compelled to watch him while I was bored during Rick Braddy’s performance and then realized the difference was Gokey has stage presence.

When the phone lines opened, I voted for Gokey, Anoop and Alexis Grace. Who did you vote for? Who was awesome for you and who disappointed?

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The Beyman Bros Taps Into Pleasant MEMORIES

When The Beyman Bros’ debut CD, Memories of Summer as a Child, arrived in my mailbox, it was a gray and rainy day in Los Angeles. Within minutes of popping the disc in my player, I was cruising on a sailboat in the Caribbean and being serenaded on a gondola ride through Venetian canals. No, I wasn’t dropping acid. These are the memories the music evoked in me. And some of them haven’t even happened yet.

Who are the Beyman Bros? They’re three unrelated guys—Christopher Guest (yes, that Christopher Guest), David Nichtern and CJ Vanston—who have adopted alter egos a la the Traveling Wilburys (Guest is Doc Beyman, Nichtern is Nudgie Beyman and Vanston is adopted kid brother CJ Beyman). Guest and Nichtern have been jamming together since childhood and eventually teamed up with long-time Guest collaborator Vanston (Spinal Tap’s musical director/keyboardist, among other cool credits) to put out this album. They’ll even tour if the accommodations meet their “medium-high standards.”

From L: Guest, Vanston, Nichtern

The brothers may be made up but their music is for real. It’s a warm, vibrant blend of jazz, Mediterranean, Western, folk and Mark Knopfler. It’s instrumental but not boring, always moving, never stagnant. The multi-talented trio fuses so many instruments together—mandolin, accordion, clarinet, lap steel guitar, electric piano—you’d think they’d each need six-fingered hands to play them all.

But dissecting the sound is useless since this is the kind of music to be experienced more than described (click here to go to their website and sample several cuts). You should just kick back and let the music wash over you. Close your eyes and let it take you places. Some tracks had me sailing the Caribbean with wind through my hair and a masseuse at my back. Other times, I was on a horse trotting through the Irish countryside, driving a car on a long road trip in the rain at night and running through a grove of trees with the sun tickling my skin. All this is to say the album can give you a mental vacation for about ten bucks. What could be better?

After listening to their music, I wanted to know more about the Beyman Bros so I requested an email interview. Guest wasn’t available but Nichtern and Vanston kindly obliged.

PCN: What are some of your favorite memories of summer as a child?

Nichtern: Having grown up as a city kid, definitely going away to the country, the beach, camp, whatever during the summer. The picture on the front cover of our album is actually a real pic of me and Christopher on the beach in Shelter Island one summer. We were both there with our families, who were good friends. (We didn’t know CJ back then so we Photoshopped him in!) Riding bikes, playing baseball, swimming, roasting marshmallows, all the classic stuff.

Vanston: Watching Cathy Stewart play tether ball, the day Ann Pincumbe moved to town, kissing Cindy Smith on the swingset.

PCN: Who is the “Man of La Mantra” [title of the second track] and what is his mantra?

Nichtern: Ha ha, good one. His mantra would be, “Why hurry when you can take your time and still get there?” Appreciate the journey. Also, “Where is Sancho Panza when I need him? Have him get me a half-caf and half-decaf soy latte. Now, please!”

Vanston: This song is actually about David Nichtern, and his mantra is “Dear universe: Let us do another record.”

PCN: What should people be doing while listening to your music?

Nichtern: 1. Actually listening. 2. Yoga. 3. Cooking. 4. Sensual interaction (with others, hopefully). 5. Relaxing/massage. 6. Playing or singing along? 7. Bathing. 8. Flowing along with the music. 9. Flowing along without the music.

Vanston: I didn’t have this in mind when we did the record, but evidently this album is perfect to listen to while operating large farm machinery.

PCN: What kind of accommodations would meet your medium-high standards so that you’d tour? The Best Western? Bread large enough to accommodate lunch meat?

Nichtern: Ha ha again. I think we’re talking the presidential suite at minimum and if they don’t have that, then maybe the bridal suite. Definitely up high with a view, 24-hour room service, cable with pay TV and all the different kinds of channels they have in those places. If not, then a modest room with twin beds and 5 extra cots will be fine.

Vanston: I need the Golf Channel and free coffee in the lobby. Oh, and I only sleep on Haastens mattresses.

PCN: CJ, how does working with Doc and Nudgie compare with working with Spinal Tap?

Vanston: It’s actually exactly 1/3 easier, because there is one less genius to deal with.

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Backstage at the Grammys 2009

With all the talk regarding the Chris Brown scandal that came to light at last night’s Grammys, I contacted one of my sources who worked the show to see if she had any interesting inside tidbits. Here’s our conversation (she wished to remain anonymous).

Q: When did you first hear Chris Brown and Rihanna had dropped out as performers?

A: At about 2:30 or 2:40. [The show started at 5 p.m. PT]

Q: What happened?

A: There was mad scrambling. One of the stage managers had to revamp the listing of performers for the day. They had to move talent around. Someone had said [Brown and Rihanna] were in a car accident; that was a rumor that was going around early in the day. It wasn’t ’til the end of the night when a member of the press told a production person what happened that we were like, “Oh my gosh, is that really what happened?!”

Q: After the mad scrambling and revamping of talent lineup, was there another quick run-through?

A: There wasn’t time because the red carpet opened at 3 p.m.

Q: Were people nervous about whether things would go well?

A: They were pretty indifferent. Awards shows are generally always high stress and high pressure. Whether it be a presenter being late or canceling last minute, there is pretty much always some sort of last-minute change. Changes are not as extreme as what happened Sunday but the main focus of awards show people is to adapt.

Q: OK, let’s talk about other things. Did you have a plan in place if M.I.A. had gone into labor at the show?

A: There was a gurney in the back. I wasn’t sure what/whom it was for but we’ve never had one there during past shows.

Q: Any backstage scoop you want to share about anything?

A: Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift were adorable. They were joined at the hip, went everywhere together. Miley got starstruck when Gwyneth walked by. By the way, the announcer should’ve said “Grammy-nominee Gwyneth Paltrow” [in the Best Spoken Word Album for Children category for her reading of Brown Bear and Friends] when she came out to introduce Radiohead.

Justin Timberlake’s people were so pretentious. All the talent had signs on their dressing room door with their names on it and someone from Timberlake’s team took it off as soon as he got inside, like they were afraid people would know where Justin was and rush his room or something. But he was in the same hallway as U2, Sir Paul (McCartney), John Mayer, Miley, Coldplay, Stevie Wonder, Jay-Z and all their signs were still up! It just made my colleagues’ jobs harder when they had to locate Justin and do it quickly.

Q: That does sound annoying. If I were walking down that hallway, I’d be rushing U2’s, Coldplay’s, and Sir Paul’s dressing rooms, not JT’s!

Now, I gotta ask the inevitable fashion question. Who looked the best?

A: Fran Drescher looked really good, Katy Perry’s dress was gorgeous, and Sheryl Crow was flawless.

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 — First Night of Hollywood Week!

I was really looking forward to the competition finally kicking into high gear but the first Hollywood edition was kinda dull. We were told 104 made it through to the next round (out of 147 who came to Hollywood) but got glimpses of only about 28. For the first time, the wannabes were sent to “boot camp” to get makeovers and advice on song selections (Barry Manilow was there talking to them; I thought producers were only bringing in younger mentors this year?) Looked like some listened and some couldn’t be helped. Some highlights:

Person Who Most Renewed My Early Faith in Him: Danny Gokey, the Robert Downey Jr. lookalike whose wife passed away right before his original audition in Kansas City. I remember loving his rendition of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” and was hoping he wouldn’t prove to be a fluke. When he said he was taking on “Kiss from a Rose,” I thought, “Dude, that’s a hard song.” No worries. He hit all the high notes beautifully and is through to the next round.

Other People Who Kicked Butt: Lil Rounds, who pulled off the Whitney version of “I Will Always Love You;” Anoop Desai, whose rich voice is full of soul (notice how he was less preppy last night?); Jasmine Murray, precocious beyond her years; Jorge Nunez, who sang in English much more confidently than he did during his San Juan audition; and Rose Flack, who did a pretty good version of “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay.” Her voice has a really interesting quality but she’s got to get her nerves under control and purchase a pair of shoes. She’s gonna pick up a disease walking down Hollywood Boulevard barefoot. Didn’t someone tell her this in boot camp?

Speaking of Catching a Disease: That girl Katrina Darrell is sooo skanky, I can’t deal. She’s not that talented, not attractive and has a bad attitude. Why is she still there?! I hate that Kara and Paula are made to look like they’re being catty or jealous by not liking her. What do they have to be jeaous of?! When Kara said, “Bring a pole tomorrow,” I thought, “And antibiotics and hazmat suits for everyone.” She needs to go.

And He Should, Too: I’m so over Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle. This guy is a joke. I’d be kinder if he were at least funny but he’s just obnoxious and tiresome and I hate how he’s hijacked this singing competition. Let’s just say for argument’s sake that he ends up winning. What’s he going to release—a music album or a comedy one? He should go away and try out for Last Comic Standing instead.

Saddest Cut: Jessica Furney. I liked this girl when I saw her original Kansas City audition. Anybody who can sing a Joplin song well has my respect (I’ve tried during karaoke parties but it’s never gonna happen for me). Tonight, there was only a brief mention that she was cut and we didn’t even get to see her perform. Oh well, I guess I don’t have to worry about her 93-year-old grandma any more ’cause Jessica’s coming home.

Most Deserved Cut: That Dennis Brigham was a pill. I didn’t like him the first time and completely disagreed when the judges put him through in Kansas City. He wasn’t good then and he certainly didn’t get any better. When he was cut this time, he started dissing Simon’s wardrobe, which had nothing to do with anything. His tirade convinced Simon he made the right decision. A little late, Simon, but I’ll take it.

What did you think of the people who got through tonight? Picked out the Top 5 yet? Any of your faves got cut? Post in the comments section.

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AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 — San Francisco Recap

Tuesday was the season’s first one-hour show and it went by too fast. No real superstars tonight and no real freaks, either. Dang.

A quick rundown:

First up was Tatiana Del Toro from Puerto Rico, who thought she was competing in the Miss Universe pageant with her long gown, press kit and overly enthusiastic way of introducing herself (“Hi, I’m Tatiana from Puerto Rico!”). She sang Aretha’s “I Never Loved a Man” and wasn’t too bad but the judges ragged on her. The poor girl begged and begged until she finally got a golden ticket. (The judges are way softer this year.)
Nick Reed, Pippi Longstocking’s beat-boxing long-lost brother. I have no idea what he was doing but he was no Blake Lewis. He’s not going to Hollywood.
Dean-Anthony Bradford, who wore a coat made out of his couch. Simon made fun of his hair color but Bradford claimed “the carpet matches the drapes.” I learned way more about this guy’s interior decorations than I needed to and he couldn’t even sing.
Jesus Valenzuela, a nice-looking and seemingly cool guy. Simon wasn’t crazy about him at first but wanted to meet Valenzuela’s two young boys, who accompanied their dad to the audition, replete with signs. The judges allowed Valenzuela another chance and he sang “Unchained Melody” with his kids in the room. The panel didn’t want to “make the boys sad” so they gave Valenzuela a golden ticket. See what I mean about the softness?
Dalton Powell, who solved the Rubik’s Cube in seconds but could not squeak out a decent version of Smokey’s “Oh Baby Baby.” He admitted he’d never sung in front of people before. What did he think would happen if he went to Hollywood?
Akilah Askew-Gholston, my favorite (only?) crazy of the evening. The first part of her last name sums it up—she was all over the place. She brought anatomical diagrams, believing she’d sing better if she carefully studied how the body works, especially the “trashea” (trachea) when one sings “a capellaly.” After the judges nixed the original song she performed, she begged for another chance, saying, “It came from the wrong rectum.” My soup almost came up through my nose. The judges were not interested in hearing her sing further but Akilah wouldn’t leave. (Simon kept calling her ACK-kee-la, which was almost as funny as the rectum comment.) I like how Kara finally got the job done by getting up, hugging the girl, saying, “Sweetie, it’s time to go” and gently pushing her out the door.
A montage of three good singers who got through—John Twiford, who sang Stevie Wonder’s “Overjoyed;” Allison Iraheta, a redhead who sang “Natural Woman” with a raw ache no 16-year-old should have; and Raquel Houghton, an Antonella Barba lookalike who sang “Son of a Preacher Man.”
Annie Murdoch, a pixie blonde who looked like a young Cheryl Tiegs. Too bad her singing wasn’t as pretty. Simon said she sounded drunk and not just after 1 or 2 bottles but “a whole crate.”
Adam Lambert, a dude in a black leather jacket and David Cook’s hair. He bravely sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” and pulled it off. The judges worried about him being too musical theater but put him through.
The tearjerker of the evening (there has to be one, right?) was Kai Kalama, a guy who put his life on hold to take care of his mom, who has a seizure disorder. He sang The Platters’ “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” and sounded almost exactly like the original version! (My momma had the record, as in vinyl, so I know.) The judges said he needed more stage presence but all said yes.

I didn’t see anybody I loved tonight—there were stronger singers last week. Did you like anybody? Are you ready for Hollywood weeks yet? Leave a comment then check back Wednesday night for the Louisville, Kentucky recap!

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Oprah for Obama — "America's Song" – Download It Here!

Have you all heard the song Oprah commissioned for the Obama inauguration? She premiered it on her show Monday, Jan. 19, and allowed free downloads from her website for only one day. If you missed it, don’t fret ’cause I’ve made it available for you to download right here.

What do you think of the song, sung by Faith Hill, Seal, Will.i.am, Mary J. Blige and Bono? Inspiring or overwrought? Post your opinions below!

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