I’m a Big Fat Liar

Within the last week or so, two of my blogger friends, le0pard13 and Poncho, kindly bestowed on me the Creative Writer Award (Poncho also gave me the Kreativ Blogger Award), with the real implication being they think I’m a bald-faced liar. Which I take as a huge compliment! It takes a lot of talent to be a convincing liar, I’ll have you know.

One of the rules in accepting the award requires me to post statements about myself—some lies, some truths—and have readers guess which is which. I also have to thank the people who gave me the award and then give it to seven others.

So here goes: Thank you, le0pard13 and Poncho, for telling me to my face how you really feel about me. People who call me a liar behind my back are cowards and need to be whacked repeatedly with nunchucks.

As for nominating seven other bloggers, I only know about five and they’ve all received this award already (thanks a lot for picking me last, guys; what is this, kickball?). So, I will pass it on to only one other blogger, the divine Ms. Shell Sherree, who does beautiful illustrations, schools me on Australian lingo, and is a gorgeous friend.

Now for the statements:

  1. I once provided backstage security for Duran Duran at a concert.
  2. Mel Gibson and I once shopped for books together.
  3. I was in Germany when the Berlin Wall came down.
  4. Several years ago, I finished the New York Marathon right behind P. Diddy.
  5. I’m a crack shot at the firing range.
  6. I have a black belt in tae kwon do and once trained with Chuck Norris.
  7. I was voted Most Likely to Win Hot Dog Eating Contest in high school.
  8. I worked briefly for the FBI after college.
  9. I’ve skydived out of a C-130.
  10. I once played Charlie in a school production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Think you can figure out which statements are true or false? Have at it! Extra points if you tell me why you think something is a lie or truth.

Share

17 Comments

  • Reply
    Rodney North
    February 7, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    True:
    security @ Duran Duran concert (why? you’re roughly the right age and it’s not that hard to swing such a gig)

    shopping for books w/Mel (’cause if you use “with” liberally enough
    you would merely have to be in the same store at the same time. By that rule I went hot-tubbing with Meg Ryan.)

    crack shot (’cause some of these gotta be true – no?)

    Most likely to win hot dog contest (since we went to HS together I should know this, but don’t, yet maybe it was just a vote within a certain class or the drama club or something)

    Worked for the FBI (’cause I know I’d hire you in a flash, especially if it required intelligence and cunning. + you can act, which has to be useful for FBI agents. You could work undercover!)

    Played Charlie (I was an eyewitness, I think, but then again it’s been awhile)

    False:
    Black Belt ( I think I would know about this)

    In Germany when the wall fell (I know you shot a film there once, but that was much later)

    Marathon & P Diddy (you only recently ran your 1st ever 5k)

    skydiving (you might sky-dive, but few of us ever get inside a C-130)

  • Reply
    Paulette
    February 7, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    1. Is true…who would make that up?
    2. Is false…I certainly would have bragged about this long before now and I think you would have also!
    3. Is false…you were still in grade school!
    4. Is false…even I can run faster than P. Diddy!
    5. Is true…you kick as
    6. Is true…you kick ass
    7. Is false…pizza, maybe–hot dogs, never!
    8. Is true…I can see the little curly-wired thingamajig that you still wear in your ear because you miss your law enforcement days.
    9. Is true…either because you are fearless or someone pushed you!
    10. Is true…it is when you were bitten by the acting bug.

  • Reply
    EIREGO
    February 7, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Okay…..

    1) I’m gonna say FALSE, but only because I think it was different band.

    2) Hard to say…..but I’m guessing TRUE

    3) I actually was there and didn’t see you, so FALSE

    4) FALSE, but only because I hear P Diddy had major intestinal gas at the end and you would have sprinted past him so you could breathe.

    5) & 6) TRUE – Because you are such a Joe Pike and Jack Reacher fan and therefore you have both of these abilities in you!!!

    7) Isn’t the current record holder a little Asian chick as well? TRUE

    8) FALSE – I think you are smart enough, but like to buck authority way too much…or am I merely projecting my own personality traits?

    9) FALSE – Pretty sure you mentioned you were afraid of heights in one of your older posts, so you might have seen a C-130 in a museum.

    10) FALSE – I can’t see you playing a boy.

    • Reply
      Paulette
      February 7, 2010 at 2:16 pm

      Oh,dang! You are absolutely correct about the authority issues! Also, I wonder about the background check…you know, being a big, fat liar and all!

      • Reply
        Paulette
        February 7, 2010 at 2:20 pm

        I am referring to item #8…the FBI gig

  • Reply
    Naomi Johnson
    February 7, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    I’m too lazy to try to sort out truth from fiction. But you strike me as an extremist, so I’m going to simply say that you’re fibbing, all the way down the line.

  • Reply
    Shell Sherree
    February 7, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Well, I’m chuffed ~ I think… Thanks, PCN!! As luck would have it, I’ve also recently received the Kreativ Blogger award and was going to attend to the housekeeping of it tomorrow, so I’ll roll them both together and come up with an award roulade of sorts!

    As for your list…
    1. Yes, I think that’s true ~ you may be petite, but you know how to use nunchucks.
    2. No, because surely you would have told me if you’d met Mel, given that I’m an Aussie.
    3. I know you’ve travelled, but I’m leaning to a Fib on the Berlin Wall.
    4. You posted on 2 Jan about being talked into a 5K with a friend even though “running is as much fun to me as having monkeys poke sticks up my nose” so I doubt P.Diddy was enough to get you over the NY Marathon line at the time.
    5. Yes, I can see you looking adorable with those ear muffs at the firing range.
    6. Well, I ~ gosh, is that the time??? Sorry, must dash off and start preparing my next blog post and see if I can sort out my Pinocchio nose…

  • Reply
    Pop Culture Nerd
    February 7, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    I didn’t know it’d be this much fun to have you all guess. These comments are cracking me up! Will reveal answers later but in the meantime…

    Rodney—I didn’t take into consideration you’d have a 30-year advantage!

    Paulette—there are many juicy things I don’t brag about.

    EIREGO—not saying whether or not you’re right, but I’m chuffed (stole Shell’s word!) you think I might be Reacher- and Pike-like.

    Naomi—if I’m an extremist, couldn’t it also mean all of these are true?

    Shell—it’s fun being in sync with you, celebrating our blogoversaries and getting awards around the same time! Ahem. You’re also an extremely observant reader of this blog.

  • Reply
    Jen Forbus
    February 8, 2010 at 5:13 am

    1. I think is true.
    2. I’ll say true simply because I desperately want it to be!
    3. I’ll go with false on this one.
    4. False – you aren’t a runner…I remember a recent comment about running a 5K? You, like me, have the sense to not torture yourself.
    5. Oy. I can only guess on this one, so I’ll say false.
    6. I think you do, but if you trained with Norris, not sure…so I’ll say true.
    7. False, this one makes me feel ill just reading it.
    8. Again, I’ll go false, although you would have been in that neck of the woods, wouldn’t you? Hmmmm…
    9. I’ll say false here, but if you did, I’m impressed!
    10. I’m saying true and hoping Rodney hasn’t led me astray! Wait! Was this a musical performance?

  • Reply
    le0pard13
    February 8, 2010 at 11:43 am

    I once provided backstage security for Duran Duran at a concert. FALSE
    Mel Gibson and I once shopped for books together. TRUE
    I was in Germany when the Berlin Wall came down. TRUE
    Several years ago, I finished the New York Marathon right behind P. Diddy. FALSE
    I’m a crack shot at the firing range. TRUE
    I have a black belt in tae kwon do and once trained with Chuck Norris. FALSE
    I was voted Most Likely to Win Hot Dog Eating Contest in high school. TRUE
    I worked briefly for the FBI after college. TRUE
    I’ve skydived out of a C-130. FALSE
    I once played Charlie in a school production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. TRUE

    I’m really looking forward to view your answers, PCN.

  • Reply
    Lydia
    February 8, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Oh PCN I think they’re all true since you consistently amaze me! But I feel like we may have talked about my failure as a runner, and it seems if you had really finished the marathon behind P. Diddy that may have been mentioned… so I’m going with #4 as being the false. Everything else may likely be true – you may be small, but I imagine you being tough and squirrely!

  • Reply
    Naomi Johnson
    February 9, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Nah, PCN, is these were all true you wouldn’t be an extremist you anally honest.

  • Reply
    Christine
    February 9, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    Ooh, aren’t we the little BS powerhouse! 😉 Ha! Excellent job, PCN!

    So, having absolutely no idea, I’m going to say #5 and #9 are true. I first thought #5 was false, but that’s when I thought it said crack pot not crackshot. Er, of course, if #9 is true, crack pot might not be too far off the mark. [snicker]

    😉

  • Reply
    Pop Culture Nerd
    February 10, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    Thanks so much for your guesses, everyone. I’m flattered and humbled by what you think I’m capable of and qualities you think I have. Hope I don’t disappoint you too much when I reveal the following:

    1. False. I provided security for REM at a concert by guarding their dressing room. I did it so well, I prevented guitarist Peter Buck from entering because he didn’t have his all-access pass on him.

    2. True. Lethal Weapon 2 was filming down the street from my apartment at the time. I temporarily couldn’t get through all the trucks so I pulled over and went into a nearby bookshop to kill time. No one was there because the entire staff had gone outside to watch the filming. Ironically, during a break, Mel ducked inside, walked straight over to where I was browsing and, since we were the only 2 people in the store, chatted with me briefly about books.

    3. False. I did spend time in Germany but (as Rodney said), it was 8 years after the Wall came down.

    4. False. I guess this was an easy one. Many of you remember how I’m not a very good runner!

    5. True. But I must stress I’m not a gun fanatic, NRA member or even own one (I rent at the range). Guns terrify me but I like to understand and master scary things so I can be a little less scared.

    6. False. I have a brown belt in TDK and, though I once met Chuck Norris, who was incredibly nice, I never trained with him.

    7. False. All of you who thought this was true made me laugh! I was actually voted Most Reliable, which was the equivalent of my entire class saying I had a “nice personality.” (Rodney was voted Best Looking and hated it!)

    8. False. Right before college graduation, I went to get an application but found I was three years away from the minimum age to be an agent (23).

    9. False. I’ve flown in a C-130 but luckily neither jumped nor was pushed from it.

    10. False. I played an Oompa Loompa and doubled as Mrs. Gloop.

  • Reply
    Paulette
    February 11, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    AWWWWWWW! I just KNOW I had them all correct (ya big fat liar)!

    Woops, I almost used an inapproriate comma, which would have changed the intent significantly and would have been most decidedly untrue, i.e., big,fat liar.

  • Reply
    Christine
    February 14, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Guns terrify me but I like to understand and master scary things so I can be a little less scared.

    That is precisely why I want to learn how to use firearms. I missed out on an opportunity in Indiana. There was an indoor firing range within 10 min from my house that had a “Ladies Night” where you didn’t need to own a gun, just pay a rental fee and for the ammo that you used. From a couple of people that I know that own guns here, there’s no place that convenient. But I will do it at some point!

  • Reply
    David
    April 30, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    For some reason the image for this article when it is listed in the “random nerdy stuff” category listing (https://popculturenerd.com/category/miscellaneous)is broken.

Leave a Reply