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Home » Movies

Movie Challenge: Best Picture Hybrids

Submitted by on February 22, 2011 – 12:07 am 12 Comments

There’s been a lot of ink leading up to the Oscars this Sunday and last week I realized I was bored with the nominees being discussed the same way over and over again: Who will win? Who might be an upset? Who should win but probably won’t? Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

When I saw yet another article this morning dissecting the 10 best picture nominees, I thought, “What if I mixed the titles together and made up a whole new batch of movies?”

Here’s what I produced:

  1. The Grits Are All Right—A woman’s quest to find a better recipe for her favorite Southern dish after her mother-in-law said her cooking was “just okay.”
  2. The Fighter’s Bone—After mistakenly believing that abstaining from sex for 48 hours before a fight would help him, a boxer loses the championship title when his body reacts to a hot ring girl during round three.
  3. The King’s Inception—How Colonel Tom Parker met Elvis Presley and helped create a rock ‘n’ roll icon.
  4. The Social Hours—A reclusive accountant goes on a murderous rampage after being forced to socialize at one too many office birthday parties for co-workers he doesn’t know and doesn’t want to buy gifts for.
  5. Black Kids—A happily married white couple gets a shock when the wife gives birth to twins significantly darker in skin tone. After many tears, they reconcile when she convinces him it was due to all the self-tanner she used during pregnancy.
  6. True Swan Story—Based on the 2008 incident in which a man was terrorized for three days by an angry swan in Central Park after it got fed up with him repeatedly throwing Taco Bell wrappers in the lake.
  7. 127 Toys—The disturbing discovery in J. Edgar Hoover’s closet after his death.

Which one of these would you see? Feel like producing your own? The titles you can play with are: Black Swan, 127 Hours, The King’s Speech, Inception, Toy Story 3, The Social Network, Winter’s Bone, True Grit, The Fighter, and The Kids Are All Right.

Leave your hybrid titles with fake plots in the comments and, if we get enough “nominees,” we’ll vote for one to win the best picture Acanerdy Award!

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12 Comments »

  • Naomi Johnson says:

    Please show this list to Hollywood so they can have some original script ideas for a change.

  • le0pard13 says:

    Oh, that was inspired! I cracked up reading this, Elyse. I couldn’t hope to be as clever, but here are mine:
    The King’s Kids Are Alright – … except for that Nazi admiration thing.
    The Speech Network – who knew that speech therapy could be so damn cutthroat!
    Winter’s Inception – just look at the snow gauge back east and it’ll tell you the whole darn story.
    Toy Swan 3 – Jessie’s heartbreaking and maddening trip down the toy aisle.
    The Grit Fighter – inspirational grout cleaning at its best.
    127 True Hours – the documentary of real audience members being pinned under a rock in that friggin’ crevasse!
    The Black Bone Social – my Scrabble™ answer with what was left.

    • Pop Culture Nerd says:

      Your movies made me laugh, too. A network that only runs speeches? Why hasn’t someone thought of that? And I’m having a Black Bone Social at my place this weekend if you’d like to come. I just need to do some grout cleaning in the guest bathroom first.

  • All Bone – Noticing how slim and fit her pooch is, Marissa decides to start a crash course diet eating no meat, just…

    127 Kids – A few years ago a fabulously wealthy and childless couple went to a fertilization clinic where a mishap occurred and she had, yep 127 little ones. Now that they are older and it is time for a family vacation.

    True Black – The fashion world is put into a tizzy when famed designer Marco invents the ultimate absence of color in his fall line. Will the universe ever be the same again?

    Winter’s All Right – Two identical twins with totally opposite personalities have to work together to save the family’s ski resort from a big bad international corporation that wants to tear the mountain up for an obscure metal.

    127 Hours 3 – Oh silly Aron Ralston has really got himself into a pickle this time. After cutting off his arm from a boulder in the first movie and then cutting off a leg in an abandoned a mine shaft after the walls collapsed in the sequel, he now finds his head trapped in a vise at a closed Detroit auto plant. And all he has is pocket knife and a video recorder. This promises to be the final movie in the “Oh crap I’m stuck” trilogy.

    The King’s Inception – (An alternate vision from Eylse) For a hefty fee, fans of Elvis can go back in time and see… well you know. But the multiple visits mess up the space time continuum and the king becomes a third rate polka player, unless die hard fan Bubba Roberts can go back in time and stop time traveling once and for all.

    Network Grit – After watching hours of reality TV viewers find they cannot wash off the filth they have encountered as it starts to grow and turn them into zombies.

    The Swan Fighter – We never saw it coming, except one man who nobody listened to anyway. Now swans have taken over of world and we call upon John McClain (aka “The Swan Fighter”, disgraced CIA and now full time drunk) to save us from these feathered fiends.

    • Pop Culture Nerd says:

      Oh my goodness, your movies are RIDICULOUS, Travis. I especially like the final installment in Ralston’s “Oh crap I’m stuck” trilogy. But first I have to rent the second one where he cuts off his leg in the mine shaft. And Bubba had better save Elvis from a life as a polka player!

      I’m still chuckling…

  • Poncho says:

    ¡Ja! Great post… I’m still cracking up! But then, I’ll try to do my attempts:

    1) True Swan – When the Ugly Duckling’s return to his original family, his non-prodigal brother goes into a murderous rampage after he feels displaced by his parents’ love for his missing sibling.

    2) Black Toys Are All Right – A docu-drama about the creation of Barbie’s first African American friend.

    3) 127 Bones 3 – After a global epidemic, there’s only one woman left…

    OK… I need to think a little more. I’ll post if something comes to mind.

  • Jen Forbus says:

    Oh my…you are so silly. I love this…and I would definitely see TRUE SWAN STORY because some days I’d like to terrorize people who piss me off! LOL

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