Golden Globes 2014: A Few Thoughts & Fashion

20140113-030724.jpgI enjoy the Golden Globes every year because it’s the first show of the season so awards fatigue hasn’t set in yet, and because the stars can eat and drink there, crazy things happen.

Jacqueline Bisset provided the night’s first bit of wacky business, with an incoherent, rambling speech after she won best actress in a miniseries for Dancing on the Edge. She took really long pauses, let expletives fly, and completely ignored the band trying to play her off by continuing way past her allotted time.

Bisset said she couldn’t believe she’d won so perhaps she was simply unprepared to make a speech. There were a few other surprises, including Matthew McConnaughey for best dramatic movie actor (Dallas Buyers Club), Amy Adams (American Hustle) triumphing over Meryl Streep in the best comedy movie actress category, Robin Wright for best dramatic TV actress (House of Cards), Amy Poehler finally winning best TV comedy actress (Parks and Recreation), Andy Samberg for best comedic TV actor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), and Samberg’s series winning for best TV comedy.

The more predictable winners included 12 Years a Slave for best dramatic movie, American Hustle for best comedy movie, Jared Leto for best supporting movie actor for Dallas Buyers Club, and Cate Blanchett for best dramatic movie actress for Blue Jasmine. She’s unstoppable at this point on her way to the Oscar. Here’s a complete list of winners.

Tina Fey and Poehler were fun hosts, as expected. I think their best joke of the evening had to be:

**Gravity spoiler alert!**

 

“It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away and die than spend another minute with a woman his own age.”

 

**End spoiler**

You can read some of their other jokes here.

What I really want to discuss, though, is the fashion. And since Mr. PCN has proven to be popular with his commentary in the past, I asked him to once again chime in with his opinions on this year’s red carpet.

Sofia Vergara

Sofia Vergara

Mr. PCN: I’ve got nothing bad to say about her. Ever.

Amy Adams

Amy Adams

Mr. PCN: It looks like the red carpet swallowed her legs.

Naomi Watts

Naomi Watts

PCN: Sexy and slashy. I think Wolverine just gave her a bear hug.

Sandra Bullock

Sandra Bullock

rocket popsicle

Mr. PCN: She looks like one of those rocket popsicles we used to eat when we were kids. Wait, rocket—and her movie was named Gravity. Coincidence?

jennifer lawrence

Jennifer Lawrence

Mr. PCN: For Halloween, I used to make ghosts out of tissue paper and rubber bands when I was in elementary school. They never turned out well and neither did this dress.

zoe saldana

Zoe Saldana

Mr. PCN: She shouldn’t be walking the red carpet in this. More like the walk of shame.

Lena Dunham

Lena Dunham

(Long pause, so I prompt him.)

PCN: The color is bright, right?

Mr. PCN: And that’s about the only nice thing you can say about this. Next.

julia

Julie Roberts

Mr. PCN: When she’s done with acting, she can go back to the secretarial pool.

julie bowen

Julie Bowen

PCN: Velour done right…

j. lange

Jessica Lange

PCN:…and when it turns bad.

drew

Drew Barrymore

PCN: It looks like she fell into her kid’s arts and crafts project and didn’t brush herself off.

My friend Dan (who was also at the viewing party): Or she fell down at [the arts supply store] Michael’s.

emma watson

Emma Watson

PCN: She needs a transformation spell to turn this into something attractive.

Mr. PCN: The outfit that should not be named.

And finally, my favorite gown of the evening, hands down:

lupita

Lupita Nyong’o

Perfection.

Which were your favorites?

Photos: Getty images

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    jenn aka the picky girl
    January 13, 2014 at 6:59 am

    Love it! I never watch awards shows, but I always always look forward to your recaps. Perfect.

  • Reply
    le0pard13
    January 13, 2014 at 7:56 am

    No question, Sofia and Lupita Nyong’o nailed it.

  • Reply
    Rory
    January 13, 2014 at 7:56 am

    By far my favorite part of awards seasons. I liked Michelle Dockery, Kate Mara, and Olivia Wilde (a great maternity gown). The Sandra Bullock recap was dead on and I also thought Zoe Saldana’s was awful. Paula Patton’s was awful too.

  • Reply
    Janet Rudolph
    January 13, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Welcome back. I’ve missed you (and your comments) on your blog, Twitter and Facebook. So glad you dished on the dresses!

  • Reply
    Eirego
    January 13, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Wish I could have spent it with two. I didn’t get to see half the movies or tv noms (wtf, is Brooklyn 99?) this year and felt out of the loop. Nice recap.

  • Reply
    Tea Time with Marce
    January 13, 2014 at 11:49 am

    Your summary is always a delight to read. The George Clooney joke was a great laugh.

    The ghost, tissue paper, rubber bands comment seriously made me spit out my tea, lol

  • Reply
    Paulette
    January 17, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    I love Mr. PCN’s comments. I liked the looks for Jessica Chastain and Robin Wright.
    Here comes the rant: Actors! Pretend you have landed a role in which your character has been nominated for and received an award. Study the script and be prepared to say something — anything! Be prepared! I am exhausted by the ridiculous, mumbling, stammering and boring claims of not expecting this. Oh, and cancel the silly list of ” thank yous.”

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