Golden Globes 2017: Predictable *and* Surprising

Here we go, the first of one million award shows this season. I always look forward to the Globes because it’s usually the loosest, wackiest award show, with drunk celebs and the Hollywood Foreign Press often choosing odd winners (Madonna as best actress comedy/musical for Evita).

This year had predictable wins—La La Land swept, which I’m happy about—but some upsets, too, which kept us viewers awake at home.

Below are my own awards for the ceremony. The 2017 Nerdies go to:

Most smile-inducing musical number: OK, fine, there was only one number and that was the opening. Host Jimmy Fallon parodied La La Land but also referenced several memorable moments in movies and TV this past year, including what happened to Barb in Stranger Things and Jon Snow in Game of Thrones. He had help from singing stars like Amy Adams, Nicole Kidman, Evan Rachel Wood, and Sarah Paulson. I didn’t even know the latter two could sing. They always play such serious roles, it was nice to see them have some fun.

Best upsets: Aaron Taylor-Johnson winning best dramatic supporting actor in movies and Isabelle Huppert for best dramatic movie actress. I’ve long admired Taylor-Johnson for disappearing into his roles; I hated his character SO MUCH in Nocturnal Animals, but in real life, he’s well spoken and handsome and seems nothing like the lowlife he played. Huppert is a French legend, and though I’m too scared to watch Elle, I hear she’s fierce as a rape survivor who tracks down her attacker for revenge.

Funniest banter: Kristin Wiig and Steve Carell talking about the first time they saw an animated movie. We quickly realize these occasions were memorable for horrible reasons. And that’s how you do comedy.

Best speech, bar none: Meryl Streep. While accepting the Cecil B. DeMille award, instead of talking about herself, she spoke for five minutes about how we need to band together in this changing political climate to defend a free press and have empathy and not fear foreigners, pointing out Natalie Portman was born in Jerusalem, Amy Adams in Italy, Dev Patel in Kenya, and Ruth Negga in Ethiopia.

You can watch below or read the entire transcript here, but the standout lines for me were “Disrespect invites disrespect. Violence incites violence. When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose.” When she ends by quoting “the dear departed Princess Leia, [who] said to me once: ‘Take your broken heart, make it into art,’” I was in tears.

On to the fashion. For this, I’ll bring in my co-commentator, Mr. PCN, who always adds a unique perspective.

Thandie Newton


Mr. PCN: She’s hot, as in she looks like she’s literally on fire.


Jessica Chastain


Mr. PCN: She was a bridesmaid who caught the bouquet, but then other people fought her for it and the bouquet broke apart all her over dress.

Natalie Portman


Mr. PCN: I know she played someone from the ’60s, but she doesn’t have to look 60. The hair is too severe.

Zoe Saldana


Mr. PCN: Car wash.

Sarah Jessica Parker



PCN: With her hair and white gown, she’s totally channeling Princess Leia.

Mr. PCN: The sleeves make me think the designer also designs straitjackets.

Blake Lively


PCN: She looks like Wonder Woman in evening wear, with the bulletproof bracelets and pockets made out of golden lasso.

Mr. PCN: I see a golden octopus wrapped around her from behind.

Nicole Kidman


Mr. PCN: This looks one of those Magic Eye pictures from the ’80s, but I can’t see what the hidden image is supposed to be.

Emma Stone


PCN: I saved the best for last. The actress who plays a girl with stars in her eyes is wearing stars on her dress. Perfection.

Did you watch? What were your favorite moments?

Photos: Getty Images



  • Reply
    January 9, 2017 at 12:48 pm

    The Globes have rarely done it for me, although I did sit next to some screaming fans who swooned every time Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone showed up on screen. Most times they were obsessed with figuring out who Damien Chazelle looked like and whether or not it was a real human or a cartoon character.

    It was an interesting night. I know that’s a boring word that got called out recently in the film Captain Fantastic, but it’s the best I could come up with. Nice of Streep to call a spade a spade though.

    Cue the trolls.

    A shout out to Mr. PCN’s commentary on the gowns of the evening. I didn’t know what to make of the fashion either.

  • Reply
    January 9, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    Perfect recap! Love Mr. PCN’s comments. My favorite dress, besides Emma Stone’s was Reese Witherspoon.

    • Reply
      Pop Culture Nerd
      January 9, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      Reese looked nice, but I think she always plays it too safe.

  • Reply
    Sarah M. Chen
    January 9, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    I watched the segment where the reporter interviewed SJP on the red carpet and mention Princess Leia. SJP said she didn’t even think of that and wore her hair that way because that’s how her mom wore her hair on her wedding day. How could you wear you hair like that and not think of Princess Leia?!

    • Reply
      Pop Culture Nerd
      January 9, 2017 at 8:22 pm

      I saw that this morning and thought the same thing! Leia was the first thought that popped into my mind, before I heard anyone else mention it. I also heard some people say it looked like Leia’s buns. No, it looks like her hair in EMPIRE!

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