Music – Page 2 – Pop Culture Nerd

AMERICAN IDOL Top 6: You’re Still (Not) The One

After a week off to rest, recuperate and actively avoid the awful monolith that is Idol Gives Back, I return to find that nothing has changed, the season is still boring, Randy is still useless, Ellen is still unfunny, Simon is still bored out of his mind and Ryan is still trying too hard to make everyone happy (classic Seacrest!). We are in the death throes of a harpooned TV whale, slowly sinking to the bottom of the pop culture sea. If there is any karma in this world, you can bet Paula Abdul is that harpoon. Let’s go ahead and put the once majestic mammal out of its misery.

Here are the reviews of the performances, from best to worst.

Photo: FOX

Casey James – “Don’t”

Ooh, I do love to see the mentor sing along with the Idolist. Shania and Casey would make a dream performance in Hair Heaven. Just locks and locks for days. Casey was great tonight. Nice voice, beautiful control, smooth vocal. Good choice of stool. He sounded so good he could make this a radio hit tomorrow. Shania loved the performance. I, however, love Casey’s secret double chin and super girl face more.

Crystal Bowersox – “No One Needs to Know”

Either the producers told her to take a dive this week to make the next month appear 2% less completely predictable, or the judges huddled up before the show and picked Crystal out of a hat as the Idol to roundly hate on for no good reason. Was Crystal just all right? Yes. Was the song sort of lounge-y and lullaby-ish? Yes. But it wasn’t BAD. And the judges don’t need to uniformly agree not to LIKE her this week. What kind of gross collusion is that? Just let the hippie win already!

Lee DeWyze – “You’re Still the One”

Lee was the right Idolist to get the BIG Shania hit; he just didn’t do anything special with it. Crystal would have killed it. Like, whoa. Siobhan would have been too karaoke. Aaron would have been a joke. Big Mike would have dripped cornball juice on it. And Casey didn’t need the recognition juice from the song. This was the chance for Lee to write his ticket to the Top 3 and he biffed it with note-perfect mediocrity. Limp opening, serviceable middle, bland alt-rock ending. I wish Shania had sat him down and showed him the Kris Allen “Heartless” performance as a lesson on how to white-guy reevaluate and rock a hit. Instead, we got something forgettable. May I make a bad joke? Lee is still the (bland) one.

Michael Lynche – “It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing”

My Idol break did nothing to make Mike seem less corny. If anything, it’s worse. He certainly FEELS the song, which is all well and good, but his “sincerity” just comes off as totes cheeser balls. Nice falsetto at the end, though. While I’m here, it was nice to see Shania love Big Mike so much, always a joy to see the mentor enjoy their time. I did notice one thing, though. I was watching Shania gesticulate with Mike and it appeared to me as if…well, does Shania Twain have…frists?

Siobhan Magnus – “Any Man of Mine”

Boots? Love. All the stage roaming? Hate. Dudechickbro, just chill the hell out at the mic stand and sing. The movement is slowing her already tortoise-fast voice and the music is practically lapping her. And she gets no points for the glory note, because it was pandering. It was begging for votes. David Cook never begged. Carrie Underwood never begged. Taylor Hicks didn’t even beg. Because the first moment you beg is the first moment you start losing.

Aaron Kelly – “You’ve Got a Way”

Very cute watching Shania go into instant Mama-Bear mode the moment Aaron started to struggle. She looked liked she might try to adopt him right there. He could do worse for a stage mom. OK, let’s get real for a hot moment: This teen talent show shenanigan has gone on far too long. A nice Archuleta voice is fine and dandy, but Top 5 on American Idol? I don’t think so. No power or second level to his voice. No grit. No life experience. Just admirable determination and want. Which isn’t good enough to make it to May.

Is it time for Aaron to go back to school? Or will Siobhan give birth on stage to her Idol doom? Let me know in the comments.

4 Comments

Next Stop, Top 12: AMERICAN IDOL Season 9 Top 8 Guys Perform

FOX/Michael Becker

by Jason Matthews

Now I get to do that great breakdown of the remaining contestants, analyzing their pros and cons, and determining who truly belongs in the Top 12. Let’s consider which 6 should move on, and not which 2 should go home.

Casey James is a great country voice and a real fan favorite. He’s in. Michael Lynche has been a vocal homerun hitter and continues to be a compelling story. He’s in. Alex Lambert and Tim Urban are one voice two mullets, and they are both equally awesome and vital. Both are in. Lee Dewyze has the best voice of the group, but is a nothing performer. Since we don’t have a true male rocker to match wits with Siobhan, Lee needs to be in the Top 12. He’s in. That leaves us with three guys for one remaining spot…

Out of Aaron, Andrew and Todrick, only Todrick brings something original to the show. Tim and Alex cancel Aaron out, Lee and Casey block out Andrew, but there isn’t another guy doing stylish Neyo-style R&B. With Paige Miles going home, the show needs a dynamic R&B singer. Will Todrick make it through, though? Doubt it. Andrew is still riding the Paula Abdul wave, so he gets the final spot. Aaron and Todrick sadly get the boot.

We’ll tackle the early chances for the Top 12 next week, but at this moment, none of the guys look likely to overtake the powerhouse Crystal, or the enigma that is Siobhan. It is still the girls’ season to lose.

Here are the reviews of the performances, from best to worst.

Alex Lambert – “Trouble”

He basically did the same exact thing as last week. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. He was awesome then, and still pretty brilliant this week. My concern is now that he got a bit of praise, he’s going to keep doing the same trick over and over again. I call it the Andrew Garcia Corollary. He’s got maybe 2-3 weeks of the Jack James MorcalBluntJohnson thing before he’ll have to knock it off and try something new. Here’s hoping his other tricks are as good.

Casey James – “You’ll Think of Me”

A solid “B” performance, not much more you can say about it. He was sincere, invested, and professional; he’s the Jason Castro of this season. Casey isn’t getting much better, per se, but he is getting more polished. Tonight, he looked as if he’d be doing this for years and years. And he didn’t even need to show his chest. He doesn’t have a chance in the world of winning American Idol, but he’s definitely earned the right to stay around for a while.

Lee Dewyze – “Fireflies”

I was wondering when someone was going to do this song, just always thought it would be Tim Urban. It was kind of odd watching his voice project an image of Nickelback making sweet, ugly love to The Postal Service, as dressed by the state of Montana, but it didn’t sound bad. One thing he does need to watch out for is the soft notes. His voice is more suited for those harsh, vibrato notes, so when he has to project sweetness it comes off more as whiny. Going back to rock and staying away from emo pop would be a good idea.

Tim Urban – “Hallelujah”

This song had “Bad Idea Jeans” written all over it. There are just too many versions of this song for Tim to have a chance to stand out. It’s designed to make you sound good, but soundalike. And soundalike it was. There wasn’t enough soul to his performance, and he came off very young, which in this instance was not a good thing. He, Alex and Aaron are all fighting for the same voting base. He needs to channel older if he wants any chance to winning that group. Also? Get rid of the Zefron mullet already. A Seacrest-style buzz cut gets him into the Top 6.

Todrick Hall – “Somebody to Love”

You gotta give it up to Todrick—he was the only guy to actually bring a show to the show. Cool staging, nice arrangement, great style. Maybe it was theater, but at least it was entertainment, and not yet ANOTHER dude on a stool. His voice isn’t much of anything, and he doesn’t have much to offer, but the guy is likeable. On this show, likeable goes a long way. It would be cool if that long way started now.

Michael Lynche – “This Woman’s Work”

It’s the size. That’s the problem. I can’t take him seriously because he’s so cartoonishly big. The falsetto seems ridiculous coming out of him, the preaching church-style vocal moves are corny, and after weeks and weeks of BIG MIKE, I can’t take him seriously when he pulls the humble card. Maybe it was good tonight. Maybe it was soulful and beautiful and daring. But taking the whole package in? As Randy would say, for me, for you, it didn’t work for me, dude.

Andrew Garcia – “Genie in a Bottle”

No one has fallen out of my good graces as quickly as Andrew. He’s been exposed as having a bad voice, so these gimmicks better hold up, and hold up WELL, or he is gonna get that surprise Top 7 Michael Johns boot. He’s not even connecting to the music anymore; he’s just doing his schtick. And the schtick isn’t just getting old, it’s applying for an AARP card. It won’t happen, ’cause he’ll make the Top 12, but the show would be better without him on it.

Aaron Kelly – “I’m Already There”

Didn’t Aaron learn from Paige that a walking-in entrance is a bad way to start your performance? Didn’t he learn from one million previous Idol performances that a sketchy first note takes you too far into the red to comfortably pull yourself back out? And who is dressing this kid? Another kid? Everything about this performance was misguided. It got better vocally as he went along, but it wasn’t enough. And man alive was it boring. I drifted off for a bit, thought about how crazy it is that Avatar didn’t win Best Picture and how gorj Didi looked last night and how funny Community has been lately, and when I got back, Aaron was STILL singing! Just the worst.

Be honest, do any of guys have a chance to beat Crystal or Siobhan? Who do you think will make the Top 12. Comment it up!

3 Comments

Last Stop Before Top 12—AMERICAN IDOL Season 9 Top 8 Girls Perform

by Jason Matthews

This intro was originally planned as a complex breakdown of the remaining eight girls, detailing the pros and cons of sending each to the Top 12, analyzing why each were or were not vital to the show. It was full of Idol factoids, complex mathematics and fun jokes at the expense of Lilly Scott’s total witch troll hair.

Sadly, that paragraph will never see the light of the Internet, because it just isn’t required. Katie Stevens and Paige Miles so sung themselves out of the competition that even attempting to drum up tension is like dancing about architecture. Let’s just break the performances down, say some fun stuff and get the guys out of the way, so the real competition can finally begin.

Here are the reviews of the performances, from best to worst.

Crystal Bowersox – “Give Me One Reason”

Photo: Fox

Crystal doing Tracy Chapman is like catching fish with dynamite—it’s just not fair to the other girls. She’s basically Will Hunting up there, burning pages of perfectly solved, impossible math proofs, cause it’s just too easy. Her talent is effortless. She looked amazing in the black, her dreads were actually appropriate for once, and she has the Rockstar moves down pat. I also loved her full-on pitching a squat on her amp during the judges’ comments, and then making Ryan join her, instead of getting up. When you got her kind of skills, you get to sit, while the rest of us stand.

Siobhan Magnus – “House of the Rising Sun”

She is utterly mesmerizing in every way. How in the world did she become everyone’s extra special Idol favorite? And Siobhan had the Superstar hair on “blast” tonight! The a capella was riveting, her tone was amazing, and the arrangement was perfectly suited for her. Even though the performance was a touch low-key, she was still riveting. This girl can do THINGS with her voice, things we might not understand for a long, long time.

Didi Benami – “Rhiannon”

From jump street, ten million hundred thousand times better than last week. You could tell when she stepped on stage that she was gonna make it work. Didi brought back her perfect, lovely tone; her voice was a Tony the Tiger-style grrrrreat match for Stevie Nicks. I wanted to hear something a bit bigger from her, a bit crazier. At some point we need to hear Didi get LOUD! But it is nice to see and hear her return to the captivating, emotional work she showed us in Hollywood Week.

Lacey Brown – “The Story”

You shouldn’t get credit for not sucking at singing a perfect song. Oh, did you do good karaoke on this national karaoke contest? Whaddaya want, a cookie?! Brandi Carlisle should demand a residual from that performance. She sang it well, as the judges said, but there was exactly ZERO dynamism to her personality or performance. What does she bring to this competition? What is unique to her beyond the crazy cool burgundy hair? More than two girls were worse than she tonight, but it still feels like she’s stealing a spot in the Top 12.

Katelyn Epperly – “I Feel the Earth Move”

That is what an American Idol performance on auto-pilot looks like. Everything is as it should be, the notes were fine, the melody was fun, the arrangement was bouncy, she looked super cute, but the whole thing was completely hollow. She made a less-than-zero connection to the music; it was practically an anti-connection. Did she have somewhere else to be tonight? Was she worried about what might happen to Ben on Lost? Something was going on in her head, and it wasn’t competing on American Idol.

Lilly Scott – “I Fall To Pieces”

I guess this is what it’s like to go to a Bjork concert. It was technically masterful, had a funky arrangement, fascinating vocal…and utterly crazy to watch at all times. She doesn’t have nearly the best voice of the girls, let alone the whole group, and she will be an afterthought in the Top 12.

Katie Stevens – “Breakaway”

A pyrrhic victory for wee Katie. She finally picked the right song and it’s the last one she gets to sing. Even with her big voice she couldn’t match Kelly’s power or spirit. There was something so clearly defeatist about her. She knew she was going home before she belted note one, and you could read it on her face. Poor kid—at least there’s a lucrative Disney contract waiting for her. I look forward to hearing her voice a colorful talking elf in the next princess movie.

Paige Miles – “Smile”

There was nothing to like here, save the hair and makeup. The entrance was misguided, the arrangement was maudlin, and she was boring and ineffectual with her vocal. She knew, we knew, the judges knew, AMERICA knew she was done. Hard to watch, knowing how done she was. It’s possible Paige printed her boarding pass for her flight home during that performance. And who would have noticed? We certainly weren’t paying any attention to her.

Are you pleased with the 6 girls being sent into the Top 12? Who do you think has the chance to win it all? Sound off in the comments.

7 Comments

Girls’ Night: AMERICAN IDOL Season 9 – Top 10 Girls Perform

by Jason Matthews

My predictions for the girls last week were dead wrong; let me own up to that right away. I forgot my Idol history, and was thus doomed to fail. If there’s one thing Top 24 has proved year after year is that the token hottie ALWAYS gets kicked off immediately (think Amy Krebs or Stevie Wright). I should have known Janell Wheeler would be toast.

With Ashley Rodriguez, that was owing to a lack of compelling personal story. Nearly every contestant this year has a tragedy in his or her life or a wacky background; Ashley was just like a prettier Jordin Sparks, not a reason to keep her around.

Staying with Top 24 Idol history, the two girls traditionally kicked off in Top 10 week are singers who just aren’t as dynamic as the rest of the group. They may be cool people with great style, but lack that oomph we want in a female Idol (think Alexandrea Lushington or Casey Carlson). This spells bad news for the Lacey Browns of the competition.

Let’s see how our girls did with an extra day to prepare. Here are reviews of the performances, from best to worst.

Siobhan Magnus – “Think”

Going after Aretha on this show is a dicey prospect. That is, unless you have a sneakily amazing voice like Siobhan. She absolutely cuh-rushed that big note. There were better performances tonight, but none as electric as hers. And Simon is right—she is strange, and oddly compelling. That slow speaking voice, which makes you really not sure what the next word is gonna be or when it will come? Intriguing. Aside from her wardrobe, Siobhan worked it out. She’s definitely one of the ones to watch.

Crystal Bowersox – “Long As I Can See the Light”

A professional performance from note one. I don’t know if it’s because she was in the hospital and now we’re inherently rooting for her to overcome and triumph, but there was a softness and likability to her tonight that we hadn’t seen before. Great song choice, wonderful tone, and as crazy as it sounds, she’s getting prettier as the weeks go on. Here’s what that all means: Jewel can officially retire from music now; her services are no longer required.

Katelyn Epperly – “The Scientist”

Aside from Siobhan, Katelyn is the most fun to hear talk. When she’s riffing with Simon or sparring with the judges, there’s a great confidence and intellect on display. That might be the key to her: she’s smart. It comes across on stage. Picking Coldplay was a master stroke, being the only person on the piano helped her to stand out, she took Kara’s style tips and looked incredible, and the vocal itself was wonderful—so sweet, so loving. I continue to be surprised by how much I like her.

Paige Miles – “Walk Away”

Oh, I get it now—she’s the big ’90s pop singer. That Mariah-on-“Dreamlover”-meets-“Miss Independent”-Kelly-Clarkson voice—we can work with that. She’s still not very exciting to watch, but she CAN sing. And picking Kelly to do, and then doing it well, is exactly the right way to stay in the competition. I was worried she was starting to get lost in the shuffle of quirky indie rockers that have infested the competition this year, but she’s standing out perfectly as a pop diva. Hers was the only nakedly fun performance of the night, and it probably kept her on the show.

Lilly Scott – “A Change Is Gonna Come”

What do we do with this girl? She’s playing up the kooky Bjork angle, which is fine artistically but makes for a very divisive position on the show. She’s not as talented as Crystal, not as likeable as Didi, and not as unique and sparkly as the Haeley/Siobhan/Katie trio, so how is she going to keep up her fanbase? And I completely disagree with the judges on her Sam Cooke. It was too talk-singy, passionless, slow and pitchy. She’ll be fine for now, but as the weeks go on and the field crowds around her, she’ll be pushed out. And the show will be better for it.

Haeley Vaughn – “The Climb”

OK, let’s just take a minute here to breathe. Taking on The Beatles is one thing; every precocious young singer tackles those legends at some point. But it’s a whole OTHER thing to go after Miley Cyrus. “The Climb” is universal perfection. You can’t just smile and throw glitter around. You have to BRING it. And Haeley cannot and did not bring it. Lispy, soundalike (in a bad way), weak, rushed, horrendous bridge into the first chorus, and the end was a travesty. Miley can rest easy, but Haeley should not. She’s in the doghouse until further notice. (She’s LUCKY she didn’t do “Party in the USA” or I would have rioted the set. Rioted!)

Didi Benami – “Lean On Me”

This was heartbreaking. The complete wrong song choice, even MORE indulgent than last week (get a better dictionary, Didi), a scratchy, uneven vocal, and a mediocre arrangement. What is our beloved Didi doing? Why would she ever not be playing her guitar? Why is she not doing Rilo Kiley or late-career Tori Amos? Hell, she could win the whole show if she just did Fiona Apple’s “Criminal”! I love how she invests herself into each song, really grabbing the emotions of the lyrics, but she’s stopped being fun to watch. It’s now like watching a baby take its first steps—you’re just waiting for her to trip and fall over. Sad, sad development here.

Katie Stevens – “Put Your Records On”

She’s a bouncy, cute girl with severe Tracy Flick issues. Trying WAY to hard, utterly unable to pick the right song (mostly because she has not spent even one second of her life considering what kind of artist she wants to be, or even what being an artist means), and oddly old-sounding and young-looking at the same time. Like Kara says, her instrument needs a TON of work. Give it 2-3 years and she could win American Idol. But this year? Not a chance.

Michelle Delamor – “With Arms Wide Open”

Done. Gone. See ya, Shells! I mean, Creed? Are you TRYING to get kicked off? You can soul it up all you want, Beyoncé the thing to death, Andrew Garcia that beat and it STILL wouldn’t matter. Because it’s Creed, and that’s a FAIL every day of the week and twice on Sunday! The only good thing to come out of Michelle’s slow, painful, Scott Stapp-ian performance is that it means Didi will be safe this week.

Lacey Brown – “Kiss Me”

Give her this much—she handled her first-week nerves like a champ. It seemed like she was even having fun. Let’s hope she did, because it’s going to be her last performance on the Idol stage. There is absolutely nothing dynamic about her; we would not miss her at all if she were gone. Fun look, nice person, nobody doesn’t love a little Sixpence None the Richer, but she’s just not important enough to keep around. The Idol history lesson never fails; Lacey will be kicked off.

So who do you think was better this week, the girls or the guys? Were you more or less affected by Crystal because of her recent hospitalization? Sound off in the comments!

6 Comments

Surprise, Guys! AMERICAN IDOL Season 9 – Top 10 Guys Perform

by Jason Matthews

Darn that Crystal Bowersox! Why did she have to get sick and subject us to an early round of the guys? That’s a full five-point coolness deduction for keeping us from an aesthetically enjoyable Tuesday edition of American Idol. Let’s echo Ryan and hope she gets better in time to compete.

Fun fact: Idol has a history of contestants falling ill (Megan Joy, Carly Smithson and others), but this is the first time a whole episode of the show was changed as a result. It’ll be interesting to note how her votes will be affected by this development. And by “interesting” I of course mean “not interesting” because her votes will obviously go up (like she needed the help). Nothing helps a fan favorite like a brush with death. Just ask David Cook and his Top 24 heart palpitations.

Despite the scheduling frustrations, the guys proved to be a worthy substitute. To take a dunder-headed, neon-watch-wearing page from Randy Jackson, the guys were a million trillion thousand percent better than last week. Everyone shook off the first week jitters and actually came to play. Now we can properly sort out who should be here, who’s actually talented, independent of the biased pictures the producers painted for us during auditions and Hollywood Week (this might not be good news for Andrew Garcia).

Here are the reviews of each performer, in order of best to worst.

Alex Lambert – “Everybody Knows”

FOX/Frank Micelotta

A lead-in package about how nervous and inexperienced you are? Solid choice, A-Lambs! It’s always a good way to make us believe you could be the next American Idol by revealing your pre-game vomit session. Who are you trying to be, Doug Dorsey? (I wonder who the Kate Moseley would be in this Cutting Edge scenario? Ah, who am I kidding? It’s totally Siobhan Magnus!) Thankfully, it looks like he’s getting over his insecurities. Alex gave a great performance—nice tone, good control, great song choice, rocked an awesome blazer. If he keeps improving, he might be a dark horse in the competition.

Lee Dewyze – “Lips of an Angel”

Close your eyes and he could be ANY bland white frontman in rock today. This is not necessarily a bad thing, all things considered. Americans loves them some bland white frontmen; just ask Chris Daughtry’s soundalike self. The problem here is that Lee is nothing to look at, and it has nothing to do with setting his shoulder back. There isn’t anything dynamic about him, nothing unique about his style; he’s just a voice, good though it may be. As the weeks go on and the rest of the group catches up to him vocally, he’s gonna be in trouble.

Tim Urban – “Come On Get Higher”

Isn’t he basically Alex Lambert with a different style of mullet? And less good? Since we already HAVE a Zac Efron, and Glee already has Cory Monteith, Ellen is crazy to suggest Tim should give up singing and act. (Though that probably didn’t stop The Disney Channel from slipping a contract under his hotel-room door two nanoseconds later. And Vanessa Hudgens from sitting up a bit straighter.) Tim made big strides from last week—good performance, great control, nice vocal. With Simon’s blessing, he’ll be safe this week.

Todrick Hall – “What’s Love Got to Do with It?”

Lemme get this right. In an attempt to stay in the competition, he’s choosing NOT to whip out his amazing dance moves, pretty much the sole reason he is still here? Uh, FAIL. He should ALWAYS be dancing, never NOT dancing. Also? Always wearing a futuristic blazer and changing up classic pop song arrangements. Randy is dead wrong (as always) to tell Todrick not to make the songs his own. More than anything else, Idol is about artistry, showing us the recording star you will be after you leave the show. So why would they tell Todrick to be boring and bland? He’s doing the exact thing he’s expected to do and doing it well!

Michael Lynche – “A Man’s World”

Aside from sticking his lips out WAAAAAY too much for my widescreen HD TV’s liking, Michael made it work. He’s got great control of the stage, and he picked a very smart arrangement; going R&B is the right method for shoring up his voting constituency. The singing itself may not be so great, but at least he’s keeping us entertained.

Casey James – “I Don’t Wanna Be”

Picking an overdone song made famous by more popular former Idol contestants? SMRT! Even smarter when he lacks Bo Bice’s passion and intensity and Elliot Yamin’s charisma. There is NOTHING special or vital or urgent about him. He’s all hair, eyes and stubble. The vocals aren’t there, his phrasing is amateur hour and he has no understanding of how to show more than one emotion at any given time. Also? Don’t profess to never having watched Idol before and expect us to think that’s some sort of virtue. American Idol has been the number one show on television for the last seven years; the times of claiming ignorance to this phenomenon are O-V-E-R.

Andrew Garcia – “You Give Me Something”

This performance is why you can’t really start judging the contestants until now. For all his Paula Abdul “Straight Up” awesomeness, we now find that Andrew isn’t actually that good. He has a small, pitchy voice, no personal style, and brings exactly zero electricity to the stage. Andrew can arrange, but that’s about all he can do. He will easily make the Top 12, but he’s not a threat to anyone at this point.

Aaron Kelly – “My Girl“

He may have studied his performance last week and thought he made positive changes, but from this side of the thing, it wasn’t much better. He rushed the whole song, white-knuckled the mic (and with a weird three-finger grip technique), lost control of his vocal, threw around his hands like he had no idea what to do with them (he probably didn’t) and picked the wrong song. If he’s gonna court the Justin Bieber vote, maybe he should consider playing to the Justin Bieber fanbase instead of choosing 40-year-old Motown standards.

Jermaine Sellers – “What’s Going On”

Has there been an Idol wannabe more in need of a serious attitude adjustment? Interrupting the judges, with that unearned shit-eating grin on his face? He may be stylish, but he is SO hateable. Thankfully, with his pale Marvin Gaye imitation, he probably sealed his own fate. Also worth noting: During his performance, I caught Didi in the audience looking utterly bored out of her mind. Let me tell you something—you do not bore Didi Benami on America’s watch! She is too special! Jermaine is going home.

John Park – “Gravity”

John was so boring that when Simon gave his usual biting criticism, the audience couldn’t even manage a passionate “boo” (and that’s what they are specifically brought in to do!). Just a complete and total nothing of a performance; John Park is dunzo.

Were you also disappointed the girls didn’t perform tonight? Do you agree the guys were a wild improvement over last week? Sound off in the comments!

7 Comments

Boys Town—AMERICAN IDOL: Season 9 Top 12 Guys

by Jason Matthews

If a person had never seen or heard of American Idol before (I’m sure there’s a handful of them somewhere, like in Maine or something), and read a description of the show, they would probably assume a girl wins every season. I assume that, and I know this show better than National Treasure Ryan John Seacrest. It’s a show about pop stars, and that means girls. But inexplicably, a guy has won Idol in 3 of the last 4 seasons. Is it because we have SO many female pop singers already that adding one more onto the pile seems like too much work? Or is it because it’s easier for a guy to be impressive singing pop music since it seems like such a fun novelty?

Whatever the reason, the Guys must be watched extra close this season. The Girls are pegged as the better group, but on the whole the Guys were better off the bat. Not that they were so great to watch, though! Is there even ONE boy worth Googling in this entire group? What a collection of blahs! I’d sooner watch two hours of Randy Jackson trying on neon watches than sit through these guys try to sell me their try-hardy schtick.

Let’s get to the recap; the sooner we do this, the sooner the blessed Idol Girls will be back on stage again, making my television far easier to look at (if not necessarily listen to). Here are the reviews of each performer, in order of best to worst.

Casey James – “Heaven”

He will make the Top 12 on the strength of his hair and torso alone. People won’t even notice he’s singing for another month! Gross? Maybe, but that’s how it works with himbo contestants on this show. (See: Maroulis, Constantine.) Too bad, too, cause he has nice tone, is easy to listen to, and seems like a genuine, nice guy. But man alive, Kara needs to cut the cougar crap and Randy and Ellen need to stop encouraging her. If Simon did this with Jannell Wheeler he would be castrated, so let’s ease back on the double standard, OK, show?

Andrew Garcia – “Sugar, We’re Going Down”

What a disappointment. This is what happens when you give us the Paula. It’s all we’re ever going to want, and everything else will be a letdown. Also? His voice is secretly very thin and reedy. His musicality, though? Perf to the ect. He’s going to go very deep into the season, so this is all basically jokes, but I agree with the judgery—he can do better.

Todrick Hall – “Since You Been Gone”

Instead of singing, can he just do those awesome ninja back flips we saw him bust out during Hollywood Week?? I’d put him through just for those! One of my favorite things to look for on this show is when the judges tell contestants to make songs their own, do their version, and when they do it, the judges criticize them for changing the original. Todrick doing this is the same as Andrew doing slow jam Paula Abdul. You can’t have it both ways, Randy! Hip Hop Clarkson is a wildly fun arrangement. I can’t wait to see what this guy does next. May I suggest a little T-Pain-style autotune on Carrie Underwood?

Alex Lambert – “Wonderful World”

Do I have a biased opinion of Alex because he has the exact same mullet I had when I was eight years old, and secretly wish I STILL had? Possibly. But that’s beside the point, because the kid has talent. Great recording voice, nice style; I can very easily see him putting out a James hit, be it Cullem, Blunt or Morrison.

Lee Dewyze – “Chasing Cars”

There are a literal billion of these guys in frat-house living rooms the world over. Lee is lacking the charm of David Cook, the charisma of Kris Allen, and the vocal ability of Adam Lambert, just to compare him to AI guys. And that’s all before we start comparing him to all the soundalike alt-rock frontmen. Would it be an insult to Lee or to Nickelback if I said he sounded like a broke-ass Chad Kroeger? It’s pretty much bad all around, yes?

Michael Lynche – “This Love”

Let’s talk realistically about Big Mike—he is not winning American Idol. Does he have a nice voice? Yes. Is he likeable? Absolutely. But is his penchant for singing white-boy pop-rock songs completely off-putting? Uh, that would be OBVS. This is going to come off as racist, but it’s simply a fact: Idol voters want their African American guys to either sing hip hop or R&B. Period. This John Mayer, acoustic guitar nonsense? Not gonna fly, engrossing personal story or not.

Aaron Kelly – “Here Comes Goodbye”

Watching him feels like a 3D RickRoll. That Groban-y voice should just not come from such a small child. What do we even do with him? Is he even Tiger Beat enough to get the tween vote? He’s too dweebish to be the Season 9 David Archuleta, and Kevin Covais is still holding the patent on the Chicken Little look. Aaron is boring to listen to, boring to watch, and uninteresting as a potential American Idol. There’s no future here.

Tim Urban – “Apologize”

Can we discuss the pit stains in his Idol photo shoot freeze frame? No? OK, moving on then. The same way Whitney and Mariah are verboten on this show for the girls, One Republic needs to join that group for the guys. We get at least one or two of these slapdash, homeless-person rip-offs every season and it’s never fun to listen to. Not EVER. If Kris Allen couldn’t sell it, why did wee Tim Urban think he could? He has a weak vocal unfortunately combined with a severely underwhelming stage charisma. If he survives this week it will only be because of his Efronesque hair mullet.

John Park – “God Bless the Child”

Multiple choice question: John Park sounds like A) a lounge singer B) a cruise ship singer C) the house band for a low-key bar on New Year’s Eve D) a boring person. Give up? The answer is secret choice E) All of the Above! Class dismissed.

Tyler Grady – “American Woman”

I think I saw this performance once before; it was called Val Kilmer in The Doors. Didn’t like it then, outright loathe it now. And anytime you can remind me of that atrocious Lenny Kravitz cover (but not show me the Heather Graham music video hotness) you’re going to lose points—that’s just science. Can we please retire this obnoxious song? It is the absolute definition of male musical indulgence. About Tyler, though, I love it when a contestant says they want to prove they’re a singer, not a performer, and then pick a performer song and don’t sing! That’ll help your cause, T-Grads!

Joe Munoz – “You and I Both”

I feel like I shouldn’t even waste words on this because Joe is NOT making the Top 12. He may not make it ’til the end of this recap! The scarf was a Titanic-sized mistake, and David Archuleta may sue him for vocal, facial and follicle copyright infringement. I was forgetting about him as he was singing. Be honest, you were, too. Even now, you’re reading this and going “Joe Who”?

Jermaine Sellers – “Get Here”

Nick Cannon just sued Jermaine for theft and defamation of character, and then texted Mariah to make sure she wasn’t anywhere near the Idol set. Not that he needs to worry, since Jermaine is a screechy, wildly off-key, whiny-voiced male diva nothing. And by to the way, I still hate him for throwing the band under the bus during Hollywood Week, despite his claims he wouldn’t do it again (which he then proceeded to do almost IMMEDIATELY). I can’t wait to not have him in my American Idol life. Should only be a day or so before that happens.

Do you think Simon is wrong about a girl winning this season? Based on what you heard from the Guys, can any of them win the Idol crown?

5 Comments

Ladies First—AMERICAN IDOL: Season 9 Top 12 Girls Perform

This post was written by new contributing writer Jason Matthews, who will be covering American Idol all season. No bad outfit, note, or attitude will be safe from his insightful commentary.—PCN

American Idol is finally in America’s hands again, and not a moment too soon. After six long, long weeks of who-cares sob stories, atrocious auditions, and unsatisfying filler judges (we miss you Paula!), we get to watch people actually perform and start picking the next American Idol.

But before we begin, it’s important to note the following:

I could watch Ryan say “This is American Idol” on an hourly basis until I am an old person. Such is the joy and drama he brings to his intros. There isn’t a better professional working in television today.
If having Ellen on the show means we have to sit through skits of Simon molesting the daytime talk queen, well then I am a-ok with it!
Kara has never looked better in her life. She needs to always have a front poof and teased ponytail. Always.
Randy does not know the definition of the phrase “give advice.”
Simon thinks a girl will win this year. I want to agree, but after watching them perform for the first time, my confidence is shaken.

All right, let’s pick us a pop star! Here are reviews of each performer, in order of best to worst.

Michelle Delamor

Of all the soundalikes tonight, and by “all” I mean ALL of them, Michelle was the best and came closest to sounding as good as the original (Alicia Keyes on “Fallin’ “). That counts for something. She has great control, knows how to rock an arrangement, and is style-hot like fire. Big fan of her diva arm swings. She’s the only one going for that diva spot, which has always been dicey (no diva has ever won OR made it to the Top 2), but she’s seasoned enough to make a big, long run on the show.

Katie Stevens

If this were Disney Idol, we could just crown her right now and call it a day. Katie would start recording immediately, and the Mouse House would politely thank Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez for their hard work, then boot them out of the Magic Kingdom. But this is not Disneyland, it’s American Idol, and Stevens’s faux-Aguilera voice, recital outfit style and mature song choices are going to tire. Quickly. She got the pimp slot tonight, so you know she’s fine, but there is trouble on the horizon.

Crystal Bowersox

When Simon is right, he is the rightist right that ever righted. He is incapable of left. Crystal may be the best musician of the group, but we’re not looking for 52^nd street subway buskers. We’re looking for the next great pop star; that’s the reason we are here. Playing the harmonica is all well and good, but this is a singing competition. Also, if you’re gonna choose to do Alanis but not sing “You Learn,” you can’t be trusted to entertain this fine country.

Didi Benami

I am biased here, because I have fallen into utterly helpless hard love with her, but I will try to be objective. Didi has nice control, is technically proficient, and happens to be delightful to watch. But she’s too precious with her talent and Simon was right—the song choice and performance were indulgent. Despite my passion for D-Bens, I don’t know that I can listen to her roll through the indie-rock chic genre for four months. She’s one or two Regina Spektor songs away from becoming the spokesperson for a Lillith Fair revival.

Katelyn Epperly

The first thing I thought when she started singing: In. Just in. Her voice is a VOICE. Great raspy quality, nice tone; she is a very confident talent, which is nice to see so early on in the competition. What was most shocking about her time on stage, though, was Randy giving her truly insightful criticism (about her focus on tone over flash). Who knew Randy could even form coherent, grammatically correct sentences with the English language, let alone speak intelligently about the art of music?

Lilly Scott

Don’t we already have a Fiona Apple, who is a better singer and doesn’t have Grandma hair? Let me pose this to you: Who will buy her album? What demo does she appeal to? What radio station will her first single play on? I get that she has a distinct look and feel, I can appreciate that the judges find her “unique.” But let me tell you “unique” doesn’t always mean “good,” especially in this case.

Siobhan Magnus

There is so much here to like, but even more to be confused by. What look is she going for, exactly? Why was she wearing flip flops? Does she really believe being the quirky girl will get her past six other girls? She has undeniable vocal skills but she has no idea how to adapt them situationally. “Wicked Game” is haunting and interesting, yes, but it’s also ragged and dirty; grimy, even. Siobhan’s version was too clean, too sterile. I would bet she has never seen the music video for this song.

Janell Wheeler

Let’s say a bunch of sad facts in a row: out of tune for the whole performance, the back-up singers blew her off the stage, the song was too big for her, and she had ZERO control of her nerves. Since she’s not going the Britney route (hot girl singing cheesy pop music), she needs to convince us she has presence and authority. After tonight, I don’t think anyone’s gonna buy it.

Ashley Rodriguez

If you had asked me before tonight who I thought would be the next American Idol, sight unseen, I would have said Ashley Rodriguez. Perfect look, good voice, gorgeous, fun to watch. But based on her first performance, I would be surprised if she made the Top 12. Her voice was alternately flat and sharp, she was jittery and unpolished. Simon said it best—Ashley was clumsy. Clumsy can be charming (see: Vaughn, Haeley), but not in A-Idol-Rod’s case.

Haeley Vaughn

Was she slurring her words during the song? It didn’t sound like she completed any of her phrasing. And girl was screechy. Saved by the Bell-level of screech. The melody and key transitions were amateur hour, the guitar was distracting, and the song choice was deplorable. The Beatles? On Night One? Really, 16 year-old Haeley? REALLY?! That’s the type of precociousness that gets you muted.

Paige Miles

Don’t we already have a Jill Scott? Also, who was this person? I’ve watched her performance twice and still wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a lineup. Was she just put through so she could get kicked off in Top 24 and insure that other, better girls would be safe? I suppose there are worse reasons to be on the show. For a week, anyway.

Lacey Brown

If she survives this week, it will be because the entire world, and all of Earth, love that song. “Landslide” is practically a national treasure but she did it no justice. A catastrophically bad arrangement, made worse by her poor phrasing, slow delivery, and her inability to hit the low notes. But hey, at least she got to be the first person Randy called “pitchy” this season; that counts for something. Sadly, it’s the only thing she can count on, because she is going HOME.

Who do you think should get sent home this week? And could Ryan be more awesome and professional? The second question is rhetorical, obvs, but please take a minute to answer the first one in the comments below.

5 Comments

CD Review: Vampire Weekend’s CONTRA

This review is by new contributing writer Ethan Ogilby, whose musical taste is way more hip than mine.—PCN

The second album usually determines the staying power of an artist. It must be faithful to the established sound as well as explore new ground, be both familiar and more substantial than just The Debut Album: Part Two. As such, after the firestorm of admiration around Vampire Weekend’s eponymous LP and the anticipation and hype that surround Contra, the question remained: Were they in it for the long haul, or would they burn out like so many former next big things?

The answer: Vampire Weekend is here to stay…probably.

Contra is definitely a good album (and may end up as one of my favorites when this year is over) but I don’t feel it quite captures the simple genius or fun of their first record. The “indie Graceland” aesthetic—one of the elements that endeared me most to Vampire Weekend—is not as prevalent this time around.

But Contra has subtlety, thought, and purpose behind the music. Frontman/guitarist Ezra Koenig is at his best when his voice doesn’t have to work too hard. His melodies are so natural you feel like you’ve been listening to his songs for years, prime examples being “I Think UR a Contra,” a quiet, elegant tale of falling out of love; and “Diplomat’s Son,” a multifaceted yet graceful journey through an aristocratic adolescent romance (and one of the songs that best fulfills the new-but-faithful requirement).

The instrumental arrangements and rhythmic interweavings are even more advanced and challenging this time around. From song to song and section to section, new instruments and lines drop in and out, sometimes sacrificing continuity, but also creating remarkable moments, such as the cascading faux-horn lines of “Run” and the layered, yelping choruses of “White Sky” (though I would have preferred the yelps being swapped for something more pleasant).

And yet, Contra feels more produced than the debut, which compromises the balance of the band’s sound. The Vampire Weekend LP was something I’d really never heard before, that rare feel-good indie “rock” record that wasn’t hokey. You could put it on and let it play right through—in a bar, at a party, hanging out in a basement—and people would want to know what it was whether they liked it or not.

Contra, on the other hand, sounds more like everything else. There are electronic drums and uncommon percussion and even some vocal effects, but it’s hard to find where any of this makes their music better. “Giving Up the Gun,” while a different sound for the band, doesn’t chart any new territory. Its pulsing, electronic background and vocal harmonies remind me more of a Postal Service song than my favorite musical Columbia literati. Similarly, their effortless, melodic sensibility—ubiquitous on the first album—is on occasion disappointingly replaced by frantic disjointedness, sections of “California English” and “Cousins” being the worst offenders.

Vampire Weekend’s guitarist-keyboardist, Rostam Batmanglij, told Rolling Stone, “Our first record kind of has one vibe, one tone. [Contra] goes in a thousand places at once.” To dismiss the debut as “one vibe, one tone” is underselling the distinction between the songs and belittling the cohesion and flow of the previous album. This quote does sum up, however, both what’s great and not so great about Contra: too many twists and alterations crammed into one record, but with enough detail and emotion to keep me coming back for years.

5 Comments

CD Review: Kris Allen's KRIS ALLEN

When Kris Allen was on American Idol, it took him a while to make an impression on me. He didn’t stand out at first but then he started making bold choices like acousticizing Kanye West’s “Heartless.” By the end, I was voting for him over the louder Adam Lambert.

His album, titled Kris Allen (dropping Tuesday), is a mixture of low-key and rousing numbers, resulting in a package that’s pleasant enough even if none of the tunes really stuck with me. His voice is in good form, aching and cracking on ballads like “I Need to Know,” rocking on the energetic “Alright with Me” (the disc’s most catchy tune) and “Can’t Stay Away from You,” and a bit smoky on “Heartless.”

Allen co-wrote nine out of the thirteen tracks, alternates between playing the guitar and piano so he’s certainly talented. But even after multiple listens, I had a hard time telling one track from the next (except for the aforementioned ones) and identifying which cuts would make good singles. It’s more like a collection of songs that blend well together and would make nice background music at a party. Though well-crafted, the album is as modest as its namesake.

Nerd verdict: Pleasant enough tour through Allentown if nothing to write home about

7 Comments

AMERICAN IDOL Season 8 Finale–The New Idol Is Crowned

I can’t believe Kris won! Whoo-hoo! I don’t think I’ve been this pleasantly surprised in the eight years I’ve followed this show. I’d accepted that Adam would win since everyone keeps saying he would—the judges, Entertainment Weekly, his vocal fan base, many of my friends, etc. That, and the fact I only had time to vote for Kris 10 times last night made feel like he’d have to settle for second place. But I kept my fingers crossed, just maybe…

And the impossible happened! When the confetti rained down, it was Kris who was the new American Idol. He even received a little trophy in the shape of a microphone, which is a new thing this year. Only drawback to winning was he had to sing that lame song, “No Boundaries,” but he sounded much better than last night.

This result is rather shocking because I didn’t think much of Kris at all for much of the early competition. I couldn’t even remember his name since his shy, unassuming ways made him blend into the background. But as the fat started getting trimmed from the competition, this quiet boy gained confidence and started making such daring, innovative choices (“Falling Slowly,” “She Works Hard for the Money,” “Heartless”) that I had to take notice. I’m glad he won because I love an underdog story and it made for good TV!

The show was better than I thought it would be. I let the DVR get ahead an hour and 20 minutes before I tuned in ’cause I figured I’d have to fast-forward through lots of filler but ended up watching and enjoying much of it.

I liked the Kris and Keith Urban duet, “Kiss a Girl.” When they first announced Urban, I thought, “Oh no, country music,” which I do not like. But the song was upbeat, their styles blended well and the duet sounded cohesive. It was a performance that seemed rehearsed instead of thrown together at the last minute.

Other things I enjoyed: seeing Alexis Grace again, Jason Mraz, the Lionel Richie/Danny Gokey pairing, Allison and Cyndi Lauper doing “Time After Time,” Steve Martin playing the banjo while Megan Joy and Michael Sarver sang Martin’s song, “Pretty Flowers” (though Megan sounded a little wobbly), Rod Stewart doing “Maggie May” (with his 1978 hairdo intact!), and Adam and Kris dueting with Queen on “We Are the Champions.”

Moments I thought were awkward, embarrasing or downright disgusting: The Golden Idols, which wasted time on obnoxious, talentless people desperate for attention (I refuse to mention them by name); the Lil Rounds/Queen Latifah duet of “Cue the Rain,” which was a huge mess; and most of the group sing-alongs, especially “So What.” They need to brush up on their dancing and choreography skills before they start the tour.

What I Both Liked and Hated: Kara getting to show her singing prowess (she’s awesome!) and hot bod (did you see those abs?!) but having to share the stage with that skanky, porny girl.

What were the highlights for you? How do you feel about Kris winning? Whose album will you be buying? Will you be seeing the top 10 on tour?

17 Comments

AMERICAN IDOL Season 8: Final Competition Night

This is gonna be a tough call. I thought both Adam and Kris performed well, but neither was perfect and they have such different styles it’s like comparing bears and chickens.

Each performer had to sing 3 songs. The first would be their favorite from the season; second would be chosen by the show’s creator, Simon Fuller; and third would be the “winner single,” co-written by Kara.

Adam went first and sang “Mad World.” I liked it, as I usually do when he shows some restraint. He gave the song a haunting lilt. Kris sang “Ain’t No Sunshine,” accompanying himself on piano. It was a heartfelt performance and both are off to a strong start.

Fuller chose Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” for Adam’s next song and Adam put on his shiny suit to sing it. He hit every note and was technically perfect but I didn’t get real soulfulness from him, more like affected anguish.

Kris updated Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On?” and while I appreciated his Jack Johnson-esque take, I like the smooth groove of the original melody so much I don’t think it needed all the changes. So, both did well again but neither performance was eye-opening.

Then came the dreaded “winner single,” which is cheesy and tedious every year. If I were one of the two finalists, I’d almost want to throw the competition just so I wouldn’t have to record it. This year’s song, called “No Boundaries,” was no different and was written by Kara, Cathy Dennis and Mitch Allen.

Adam went first and the song seemed to be in the right key for him. But when he got to the chorus, I couldn’t understand what he was singing because he went for the volume and blew the words into oblivion. Not that I cared, since the lyrics to these singles are always insipid.

Kris didn’t do any better. The key was way too high for him, he strained through most of the song to hit the notes and didn’t always succeed. His face at the end showed that he knew he didn’t do as well as he’d hoped.

Based on the final performances, I think Adam’s got the edge and will win. But whatever happens, these two will most likely get recording contracts, make completely different albums for their separate fan bases and no one will have to argue again over who’s the better performer.

Who do you think will be crowned the eighth idol tomorrow night?

5 Comments

Want the New Live Coldplay Album for Free?

Has the recession hit you so hard you can barely afford to buy CDs, much less attend rock concerts? Well, Coldplay understands your plight so they’re giving away free downloads of their new live album, LeftRightLeftRightLeft. Not only are you getting a free album (plus cover art for your iPod) with no strings attached, the live recordings make you feel like you’re at one of their concerts without having to leave your living room.

The download is available until September 19, 2009 so click here, switch on your iPhone lighter app and enjoy.

1 Comments

Older Posts

Newer Posts