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I haven’t written in the last few days because this is where I was. Went away for a little R & R in Desert Hot Springs where there’s no phone, TV or Internet, just lots of sun, soaking in hot tubs of mineral spring water and catching up on reading. Ahhhh.
Read a couple books, Jane Hamilton’s (A Map of the World, The Book of Ruth) new one, Laura Rider’s Masterpiece, and the first mystery novel by Lis Wiehl (with April Henry) called Face of Betrayal. Masterpiece started out with a funny first sentence: “Just because Laura Rider had no children didn’t mean her husband was a homosexual, but the people of Hartley, Wisconsin believed he was, and no babies seemed to them proof.” But then it lost me.
None of the lead characters are likable. Laura, who was never a big reader until adulthood, wants to write a romance novel and about all the prep she does is watching Pride & Prejudice, the Keira Knightley version, and buying an ergonomic chair. Oh, and she manipulates her husband in an implausible plot to do “research” for her book. Her husband Charlie is infantile, eating corndogs on a stick and tater tots for dinner and Froot Loops for breakfast, slurping the pink milk. He also believes he was once abducted by aliens. The third person in the triangle is Jenna, a local radio personality who can talk to anyone on her show but can’t seem to communicate with her husband and daughter. I might be a little more sympathetic towards her if she wasn’t such a big hypocrite when it comes to adultery.
I don’t think protagonists have to be perfect; the most interesting characters aren’t. But we must care for them in some way and I didn’t want to root for anyone in this story. The story is supposed to be funny but I was too annoyed by the characters to laugh. They were either clueless or self-obsessed or pretentious and deserved whatever they got.
The other book I finished, Face of Betrayal, also revolved around three lead characters who call themselves the Triple Threat Club. It’s very much like James Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club. Three women—an FBI agent, a federal prosecutor, a TV news reporter—meet regularly to dine and trade information to solve murders. The plot, about a young Senate page who goes missing, borrows heavily from the Chandra Levy and Mark Foley cases but adds a twist when it comes to the killer’s identity.
You can argue whether writing a ripped-from-the-headlines story is less creative or more relevant but the end result here is very readable. It may not break new ground in the genre but Wiehl really knows her territories and kept me flipping those pages. She’s a former federal prosecutor who now works as a legal analyst and commentator for Fox News and on The O’Reilly Factor with Bill O’Reilly. Her father was an FBI agent so Wiehl accomplishes the neat trick of writing with authority about each of the three women’s line of work and making them three distinct personalities. (I used to be a TV reporter and her newsroom details really took me back there.) This is the first in a promised series and the book ends with a gripping excerpt of two chapters from the next installment.
Nerd Verdicts: Jane Hamilton’s latest is not a Masterpiece but Lis Wiehl’s Face is compelling
Other than 30 Rock, I haven’t seen a good network comedy in a long time so I had no expectations when I tuned in for the pilot of ABC’s Better Off Ted, a new sitcom from Victor Fresco (Andy Richter Controls the Universe). It wasn’t genius but made me chuckle. Then I tuned in again last week and the second ep made me laugh out loud. The humor is definitely absurd and may not be for everyone but it worked for me.
The setting is at a corporation, Veridian Dynamics, that claims it can make anything, like turning a pumpkin into a weapon (by growing deadly mold on it) or beef without cows (by growing it in a lab). Jay Harrington stars as Ted, a research & development executive, and Portia de Rossi is his hilariously pompous boss. The strong supporting cast includes Andrea Anders (Joey) as a sweet but slightly nutty co-worker and Jonathan Slavin & Malcolm Barrett as a pair of bickering scientists.
Of all Coben’s books, I think this has the grandest scope. I’m not just talking about the locations, though the descriptions of Paris are delicious (there’s a sly reference to the French movie Tell No One, which is based on one of Coben’s stand-alones). What I mean is, the stories are usually personal—Myron (or whoever’s the protagonist in the stand-alones) gets sucked into a mystery because he’s trying to find resolution for a personal matter or help out a friend. But Long Lost involves political conspiracies and Myron’s actions have international consequences. The final reveal is disturbing and you won’t see it coming.
The story revolves around C.I.A. agent Claire Stenwick (Roberts) and MI-6 operative Ray Koval (Owen) who hatch their own scheme of corporate espionage so they can get rich, get out and spend the rest of their lives having hot sex on fat piles of money (well, they didn’t say that exactly but that’s the gist). Their plan is to steal a valuable trade secret from one company and sell it to a competitor. Neither spy trusts the other but that’s what keeps them on their toes and at the top of their game. There are double and triple crosses and things are rarely as they seem. Don’t worry if you get confused, though, because the plot doesn’t really matter. It’s just an excuse for the two stars to bicker and flirt and for us to have a good time watching them.
Owen matches her in skill and sex appeal every step of the way, finally starring in a movie that takes full advantage of his smoldering charisma (Exhibit One: A scene with him walking around in only a towel). I saw this man in person once and the star power he exuded was enough to knock you back a few feet. But for whatever reason, he’s never had a huge hit to launch him into the same stratosphere as the Brad Pitts and Hugh Jackmans. Hopefully, Duplicity will do the trick so we can see Owen’s full, um, potential.
One of my pet peeves is driving along next to someone who’s got their stereo cranked up so loud, I can feel the sound vibrations thumping through my chest wall, jacking my heart into a near-attack. I mean, does anyone need to listen to music that loudly? Well, yes, if it’s Kelly Clarkson’s new CD. Listening to All I Ever Wanted (dropping March 10), I just wanted to open the sunroof, turn the stereo up to 11 and go roaring down the freeway, pumping my fists in the air and hollering, “Hell, yeah, she’s back, baby!”
Public Enemies 
Funny People
Inglorious Basterds 
The bad guys are executives at a powerful, international bank who are providing arms to small countries in conflict. They also assassinate people. I can’t say that bankers—these bankers, anyway—are the most compelling villains but considering the economic mess we’re in, they make relevant bad guys. Owen plays an Interpol agent trying to stop them and Watts is a New York City ADA working with him. Both turn in adequate performances; it isn’t the best work for either. If you’ve ever seen a thriller, any thriller, you can predict almost everything that happens in this movie, but there is a jaw-droppingly spectacular shootout in the Guggenheim that’s gutsy, original and worth seeing.
Shopaholic is a much bouncier and more colorful affair than International but the creditors in this movie—one in particular named Derek Smeath—aren’t very friendly, either. Our heroine, Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher), is the titular girl who’s addicted to designer labels despite her mountain of debt. Ironically (and quite implausibly, but that’s another matter), she becomes famous as a financial advice columnist. Smeath is the relentless debt collector who’s out to get literal payback from Rebecca and expose her hypocrisy.
But despite Fisher’s winning, energetic performance, she seems to be running in place because the movie is a pastiche of scenes that don’t add up to one cohesive plot. It’s like a big, pretty package that contains mostly styrofoam peanuts on the inside. Hugh Dancy, whom I really, really like, plays love-interest Luke capably enough (with British accent intact!) but he looks too young to be editor of a magazine (he owns a PR firm in the books) and there’s not much chemistry between him and Fisher. They’re two talented actors thrown together and told to act cute but there’s no real heat.
The supporting cast is overstuffed with accomplished actors like Kristin Scott Thomas, John Lithgow, John Goodman, Joan Cusack, and Wendie Malick, who aren’t given much to do. Lynn Redgrave practically does extra work in a cameo that surely won’t do anything to improve her credit(s). Also, it was disconcerting to see 46-year-old Cusack play 33-year-old Fisher’s mom.
Nichtern: Having grown up as a city kid, definitely going away to the country, the beach, camp, whatever during the summer. The picture on the front cover of our album is actually a real pic of me and Christopher on the beach in Shelter Island one summer. We were both there with our families, who were good friends. (We didn’t know CJ back then so we Photoshopped him in!) Riding bikes, playing baseball, swimming, roasting marshmallows, all the classic stuff.
Vanston: I didn’t have this in mind when we did the record, but evidently this album is perfect to listen to while operating large farm machinery.
Bryan Singer’s latest directorial effort is based on the true story of the 15th and final attempt by Adolf Hitler’s regime to assassinate him. Since most of us know how Hitler died, it’s not a spoiler to tell you that this attempt failed. With this in mind, it is surprising how much the script ratchets up the tension throughout the film to keep us on the edge of our seats while we watch the inevitable play out in front of us.
British actor who portrayed Hitler with a focused, intimidating stillness and perfect German intonations—speak with an English accent? It’s also hard to believe that the other very talented British actors—Tom Wilkinson, Bill Nighy, Terrence Stamp, Eddie Izzard, Kenneth Branagh, Bernard Hill—wouldn’t have been capable of pulling off a convincing German accent.