Yearly Archives

2011

First Look at the New Wonder Woman

Entertainment Weekly ran this picture today of Adrianne Palicki in costume for the Wonder Woman pilot written by David E. Kelley. Having read this Daily Beast article by someone who’d seen the script, the photo makes me even less hopeful about the show being something I’d like to watch despite my being a gigantic fan of the Amazonian princess. The costume and her garish makeup make her look cheap, like someone working Hollywood Boulevard and I don’t mean as a character for tourists to take photos with. I do like those bracelets, though.

What do you think? (UPDATE: Click here to read Lynda Carter’s comments on Palicki playing WW.)

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Book Review: Don Winslow’s SATORI

If I hadn’t already been a huge Don Winslow fan before I read Satori, I think this review would be different. But since I revere his other books, my opinions are, fairly or not, weighted by the expectations I brought to this one, which he wrote “in the tradition” of another author.

Satori is the prequel to 1979’s Shibumi (which I haven’t read), an international sensation written by Rodney Whitaker under the pseudonym of Trevanian. Both are about the singular assassin Nicholai Hel, the son of a Russian mother and German father but raised in the Far East. It’s 1951 in Tokyo and Nicholai is twenty-six when we meet him in Satori as he’s being released from an American-run prison after committing an honor killing. His freedom has a price—he must impersonate a French arms dealer and assassinate a Soviet commissioner in Beijing, an almost certain suicide mission. The assignment and its fallout take him to Laos and then Saigon, where he in turn becomes the target for assassination.

The international elements and narrative style of this book remind me of old-school thrillers like Leslie Charteris’s The Saint series and Patricia Highsmith’s Ripley novels. Which is fine, except I’ve become hooked on Winslow’s lean, blistering prose (e.g. his famous two-word first chapter in Savages) and wanted to see some of that here, despite realizing that Nicholai is a period character who is much more internal than, say, Boone from The Dawn Patrol, and requires the more meditative style. I just had to get used to this different voice coming from one of my favorite authors.

Winslow transports readers to exotic places with his sumptuous details, immersing us in different cultural traditions. We get to experience a Japanese tea ceremony and a Beijing opera, learn about the Zen notion of sudden awakening called satori, we’re instructed deadly fighting methods such as the leopard paw and hoda korosu, and taught how to play a strategic board game called Go, whose concept Nicholai relies on for survival. Seeing how Go helps Nicholai always stay one step ahead of his opponents made me want to try playing it myself.

Winslow’s descriptions of Saigon also made me long for the place I once called home. The city in the early ’50s is different from the one I knew twenty years later, but some things remained the same—Cholon, the Notre Dame Cathedral, and the following scene:

Vietnamese police, in their distinctive white uniforms, stoically struggled to manage the swirling Citroën and Renault autos, cyclo-pousses, Vespa scooters, and swarms of bicycles that competed for the right-of-way in a chaos that was a true mixture of the French and Asian styles of driving. Honking horns, jingling bells, and shouts of good-natured abuse in French, Vietnamese, and Chinese contributed to an urban cacophony.

Child street vendors darted and dodged through the traffic to sell newspapers, bottles of orange soda, or cigarettes to customers momentarily stuck in a jam, or sitting at a café table, or just walking down the busy sidewalks.

Winslow has clearly done meticulous research but made one mistake regarding Vietnamese cuisine. A cook makes something called nouc mom, described as “the Vietnamese fish soup that was a staple of the peasant diet.” This soup is mentioned several times and sounds delicious but there’s no such thing as nuoc mom. There is something called nuoc mam but it’s just fish sauce, a condiment like soy sauce. I think Winslow is referring instead to the soup called cháo cá.

My Vietnamese nitpickiness aside, Satori is something to experience, with Nicholai an intriguing guide to take us through it all. At the end, I had a flash of sudden awareness that told me I now have to read Shibumi.

Nerd verdict: Culturally rich Satori

Buy Satori from Amazon| B&N| Indie Bookstore

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Book Review: Harlan Coben’s LIVE WIRE

It has never taken me more than two days to finish a Harlan Coben book and it was no different with his latest, Live Wire (Dutton, March 22). Myron and Win are back in another fast-paced tale that starts with a pregnant client of Myron’s, former tennis ace Suzze T, receiving an anonymous Facebook comment claiming that her husband, Lex, isn’t her baby’s father. Lex, the less famous half of a rock duo, has disappeared and Suzze wants Myron to find him and the person who posted the comment. In doing so, Myron runs into his sister-in-law Kitty, whom he hasn’t seen for fifteen years, since she and Myron’s brother Brad cut off contact with the Bolitar family after a nasty altercation. Kitty turns out to be a key figure in a complicated case that ends up with several people dead and Myron’s world turned upside down.

One of the things I like about the Bolitar series is that the characters evolve. Over the last few books, Myron has been dealing with his parents getting older and in this book the issue comes to the forefront. It’s a realistic and heartfelt exploration of what it means to face the inevitable, to have what you thought was far off arrive on your doorstep and ring the bell. Myron and Win are aging, too, with Win wearing reading glasses now, though he’s still deadly enough—if not more than ever—to bail Myron out of tough spots.

Live Wire reveals a Bolitar family history that readers had never known, introducing family members we—and even Myron, in one instance—had never met. We learn that Myron contributed to the estrangement of his brother and his sister-in-law Kitty wasn’t always the despicable person she’s become. Coben makes a bold move by drastically altering Myron’s (and Win’s and Esperanza’s) life by the end of the book, leaving our hero headed in a new direction. This change is welcome because as engrossing as Coben’s novels are, there’s a pattern developing (in his standalones, too): The protagonist receives a video/call/e-mail and now Facebook comment from someone who hasn’t been seen/heard from in years/long thought dead, which sends Myron/protagonist on a dangerous mission. Hopefully, as Myron and his friends tackle new personal challenges, they and the series will continue to age gracefully.

Nerd verdict: Strong Live

Buy Live Wire from Amazon| B&N| Indie Bookstore

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Book Review: Téa Obreht’s THE TIGER’S WIFE

Though this is Téa Obreht’s debut novel, it arrives with loud fanfare after the author landed on The New Yorker‘s “Best 20 Under 40” list—she’s the youngest at 25—and the National Book Foundation named her one of the “Best 5 Under 35.” In addition, The Tiger’s Wife has received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly, Booklist and the Library Journal. Does the book live up to the hype? Yes and no, depending on how much you like narration vs. dialogue.

The narrator is a young doctor named Natalia who’s traveling in an unnamed Balkan country with her friend Zóra to deliver medical aid to an orphanage. On the way, Natalia receives news that her beloved grandfather has died under mysterious circumstances away from home. She sets out to bring back his belongings and in the process recalls the stories he had told her since childhood. These include tales of “the deathless man” her grandfather met as a young man, a tiger who came to live (and be feared as the devil) in her grandfather’s village when he was a boy, and the deaf-mute girl who became known as the tiger’s wife.

Obreht is undeniably a gifted writer, able to conjure vivid imagery in her descriptions of a country ravaged by war. Her understanding of history lends depth and maturity to her storytelling. The problem is there’s too much of a good thing. The author’s omniscient voice is everywhere so she tends to describe everything, even getting inside a tiger’s head to describe his feelings. She often writes up to a dozen pages of narrative without any dialogue. This style left me feeling a little removed from the proceedings. Dialogue draws me into scenes in an immediate way, making me feel like someone eavesdropping on conversations. Too much narration renders me passive as a reader, as if I’m only getting a summary of characters’ actions after the fact. I often missed the insight that can be gleaned from what people say to each other, whether or not they’re telling the truth. Some readers may have no problem sitting back and being told a good story; I like to feel as if I’m inside it.

Obreht’s cast of characters is uneven, with some much more interesting than others. The grandfather is the strongest link; every scene he’s in is riveting. The deathless man with his mysterious coffee cup is also quite a creation; someone who possibly works for Death should be creepy but is instead charming and well-mannered. The deaf-mute girl is a heart-rending figure elevated to mystical status and the tiger at times seems more human than the men who engage in animalistic violence.

Because these stories are captivating, I got impatient with the chapters about the less intriguing characters, including Natalia. She’s chasing the truth about her grandfather while remaining somewhat of a blank slate. Obreht also digresses into the histories of the butcher and the apothecary from the grandfather’s village. The backstories do have emotional resonance but are disproportionately long for such tangential characters, pulling focus away from the central ones. Ultimately, Tiger’s Wife has much to be admired even if it’s not quite as magical as some of the legends it tells.

Nerd verdict: A tame Tiger’s

Buy The Tiger’s Wife from Amazon|B&N| Indie Bookstores

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Book Review: Michael Robertson’s THE BROTHERS OF BAKER STREET

Wow. It feels like I haven’t written a post in a month but it’s only been six days. I’m doing a play which opened last Thursday (if you’re in L.A. and like theater, come on down!) and the days leading up to opening night were busy with tech and dress rehearsals. During downtime backstage, I did manage to read a few books and here’s a review of one, with more to follow this week.

The Brothers of Baker Street by Michael Robertson

Reggie Heath is back in London after traveling to Los Angeles in the charming The Baker Street Letters (first in this series). The previous adventure has left him broke and no longer in a relationship with actress Laura Rankin. But he still has his law office at 221B Baker Street—Sherlock Holmes’s address—as long as he maintains his agreement with management that he answers letters that arrive on a regular basis addressed to the famous detective.

But Reggie doesn’t have time for the letters. In a bid to rebuild his career, he takes on the case of a Black Cab driver accused of murdering two American tourists. Then an important clue turns up in a letter from someone claiming to be a descendant of Professor Moriarty. The letter writer also believes Reggie is Sherlock Holmes brought back to life through cryogenics and promises to avenge the professor’s death.

Though Brothers has its moments, it’s not as enjoyable as Letters partly because Reggie’s lawyer brother, Nigel, is missing for nearly half the book (he’s in L.A. with his lady friend until he’s called home to help Reggie). The dynamic between the two is part of the draw for me. Responsible Reggie is not as much fun without his eccentric brother around to frustrate him.

Laura’s relationship with the boorish Lord Buxton is also problematic. He publishes trashy tabloids, the two have zero chemistry, and she seems to prefer Reggie’s company over Buxton’s. I don’t need to see her back with Reggie—they had some problems in the last book—but if she’s only with Buxton because he has money and Reggie doesn’t, then she has become a shallow character undeserving of Reggie’s devotion.

Another issue is the lack of mystery surrounding the letter writer claiming to be Moriarty’s descendant. The identity of this person becomes quite obvious about halfway through the book, with giant clues pointing to the culprit like neon signs flashing “Villain alert!” The denouement, however, is a fitting homage to the Holmes-and-Moriarty legend. This book may be underwhelming but the brothers remain engaging characters and their connection to Holmes will have me on board when their next game is afoot.

Nerd verdict: Brothers has issues

What have you been reading?

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Behind the Scenes at the Oscars 2011

I have a friend who went to the Oscars and as usual, she called me after the Governors Ball. She shared the following anecdotes, things you didn’t get to see on TV. She also took these pictures. (For my reaction to the show, click here.)

Didn’t I tell you the show would be horrible? [I said yes.] You were bored at home? I was there.

I loved the bit from the opening film montage where the hosts were in True Grit and I liked the auto-tune medley making fun of Twilight but that was it. I couldn’t deal with anything else. I will say I thought when Anne [Hathaway] came out at the beginning and said, “All of you are real!” that was a genuine moment. She’s been working her ass off, rehearsing last night until 11 p.m. with only cardboard placeholders in the audience. So I thought she was really excited to look out and see actual celebrities sitting there.

Mirren with husband Taylor Hackford

Russell Brand was addicted to bananas; he couldn’t stop eating them backstage. He must have eaten four. And Helen Mirren was eating one, too. Right before they went onstage to present the foreign film award, she handed her half-eaten banana to someone and said something like, “It would be funny if I went out there eating a banana, wouldn’t it?” I laughed so hard. She looked at me and said, “Right?”

And Brand was joking with some stagehands and pretended to make really weird demands like, “I need this restroom, some candles, a spoon”—and some other things I can’t remember— “and I need them NOW!” No cameras were on him but he was really funny. I thought, This is why he’s famous.

Governors Ball

I talked to Hailee Steinfeld and found out she’s a quarter Filipino. Who knew?

The Govenors Ball was fun. All-you-can-eat sushi! Jeff Bridges and Christopher Nolan stayed until the very end. Jake Gyllenhaal and Scarlett Johansson left almost right away.

Anne arrived very late, around 10:30. She looked really happy.

 

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Oscars 2011 Reaction: Nerdies for Best & Worst Moments

Watching the Oscars is akin to how people describe childbirth to me—it’s painful but after some time passes you forget about the pain and want to do it again. I don’t think I’ve really enjoyed an Academy Awards show since Billy Crystal hosted but every year I get excited about it. Tonight’s show, though, was one of the most awful in recent memory, something I wouldn’t have expected with James Franco and Anne Hathaway as hosts.

I like these two actors on film and both are multi-talented so I’m still scratching my head as to why the show was so dull. Hathaway makes me laugh when she hosts Saturday Night Live (have you seen her Katie Holmes impression?) and was winning when she dueted with Hugh Jackman in the musical number that opened the Oscars two years ago. And Franco—I find him funny even when he isn’t trying to be. But their opening dialogue tonight was devoid of laughs (you know the show’s in trouble when Franco’s grandma was funnier than the hosts with her line, “I just saw Marky Mark!”) and it was painful to watch Hathaway pushing through it while Franco looked like he couldn’t be bothered. I suspect he’s a collector of experiments, agreeing to do this so he could pull off stunts like tweeting live video of himself during the show from backstage and even as he went onstage (you can see him recording these clips on his phone in the photo above).

The actors’ inability to entertain was emphasized when Billy Crystal came out to do a short monologue about past Oscar hosts, seguing into clips of Bob Hope, the person who has hosted the most times (18). Both Crystal and Hope, in comedic bits from over 50 years ago, were funnier than Hathaway and Franco. (Heck, former host Hugh Jackman sitting in the audience was funnier.) I’m sure I wasn’t the only viewer hoping Crystal would take over for the rest of the ceremony. That would’ve been the biggest and most welcome surprise of the evening.

But enough about the hosts. Let’s move on to the show. You’ve probably heard the winners in the major categories were The King’s Speech for best picture, Colin Firth for actor, Natalie Portman for actress, Christian Bale for supporting actor, Melissa Leo for supporting actress, Tom Hooper for director, Aaron Sorkin for adapted screenplay, and David Seidler for original screenplay (for the full list of winners, click here). I will now award my own Nerdies for the highlights of the show.

Most princely speech: David Seidler. The man who wrote eloquent speeches for the cinematic King George VI in The King’s Speech gave a beautiful one himself, easily the best of the night. The 73-year-old Seidler started with “My father always said to me I’d be a late bloomer.” He noted that he’s the oldest winner in his category then said, “I hope that record will be broken quickly and often.” He concluded with “I accept this on behalf of all the stutterers of the world. We have a voice, we have been heard, thanks to you, the Academy.” Future winners should study his model: classy, witty and no wasted words.

Best mind-reader: Cate Blanchett. While watching the nominees for best makeup, I thought The Wolfman‘s clips looked particularly gross. When they ended, Blanchett said, “That’s gross.” She cannot be more awesome.

Most non-shocking “upset”: Tom Hooper’s. I was on Twitter when the director category was announced and a lot of folks seemed upset or shocked by his win. Why? First of all, Hooper won the DGA award, a pretty strong indicator he’d win the Oscar. Secondly, he made me care about a king who lived over 60 years ago in a foreign country while David Fincher couldn’t make me give a damn about people living today and events that are still unfolding (the Winklevoss twins are appealing their settlement). And I use Facebook!

Dance number I’d most like to have seen: Colin Firth’s. The year’s best actor said “I’m afraid I have to warn you that I’m experiencing stirrings somewhere in the upper abdominals which are threatening to form themselves into dance moves.” Warn us? How about make it a promise for next year’s show?

Romantic comedy I’d most like to see: one starring Firth and Sandra Bullock. While presenter Jeff Bridges’ scripted tributes to the five best actress nominees were cringe-inducing, Bullock managed to make her praise of the five best actor nominees funny and off the cuff. She was especially charming with Firth, making me think, “Why hasn’t anyone paired these two in a movie?”

Most mis-understood moment: Christian Bale regarding his wife’s name. While the Internet is speculating and chastising the actor for seemingly forgetting her name when he thanked her, I don’t think this is the case, based on the fact he never mentions her name or his daughter’s in public (though the media has identified his wife). If you scroll back through all the acceptance speeches and interviews he’s done this season, you’ll find this to be true. His sister, whom I used to know through work, told me he’s fiercely private when it comes to his family.

Best live-action Muppet: Luke Matheny. With his mop of hair and bouncy energy, the live-action-short winner was so infectious I was hoping he’d launch into a musical number with Kermit and friends.

Dish most people would probably want to eat: the Randy Newman chicken. Having been nominated 273 times (OK, it’s actually 20), the singer/songwriter, who won his second Oscar this year for best original song from Toy Story 3, joked there’s now a dish named after him at the annual nominees’ luncheon. Since he seems to get nominated every other year, we should all have what he’s having.

What did you think of the show and the hosts? Most/least favorite moments? Click here to read behind-the-scenes anecdotes from a friend of mine who attended the ceremony.

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Movie Challenge: Best Picture Hybrids

There’s been a lot of ink leading up to the Oscars this Sunday and last week I realized I was bored with the nominees being discussed the same way over and over again: Who will win? Who might be an upset? Who should win but probably won’t? Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

When I saw yet another article this morning dissecting the 10 best picture nominees, I thought, “What if I mixed the titles together and made up a whole new batch of movies?”

Here’s what I produced:

  1. The Grits Are All Right—A woman’s quest to find a better recipe for her favorite Southern dish after her mother-in-law said her cooking was “just okay.”
  2. The Fighter’s Bone—After mistakenly believing that abstaining from sex for 48 hours before a fight would help him, a boxer loses the championship title when his body reacts to a hot ring girl during round three.
  3. The King’s Inception—How Colonel Tom Parker met Elvis Presley and helped create a rock ‘n’ roll icon.
  4. The Social Hours—A reclusive accountant goes on a murderous rampage after being forced to socialize at one too many office birthday parties for co-workers he doesn’t know and doesn’t want to buy gifts for.
  5. Black Kids—A happily married white couple gets a shock when the wife gives birth to twins significantly darker in skin tone. After many tears, they reconcile when she convinces him it was due to all the self-tanner she used during pregnancy.
  6. True Swan Story—Based on the 2008 incident in which a man was terrorized for three days by an angry swan in Central Park after it got fed up with him repeatedly throwing Taco Bell wrappers in the lake.
  7. 127 Toys—The disturbing discovery in J. Edgar Hoover’s closet after his death.

Which one of these would you see? Feel like producing your own? The titles you can play with are: Black Swan, 127 Hours, The King’s Speech, Inception, Toy Story 3, The Social Network, Winter’s Bone, True Grit, The Fighter, and The Kids Are All Right.

Leave your hybrid titles with fake plots in the comments and, if we get enough “nominees,” we’ll vote for one to win the best picture Acanerdy Award!

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Movie Review: UNKNOWN

Back in 1987, I reviewed for my school paper the movie Suspect, starring Cher, Dennis Quaid, and Liam Neeson in one of his first American features. I remember writing that even though Neeson was mostly silent as a deaf-mute homeless man, his towering presence commanded the screen and announced him as an actor to watch.

Almost a quarter century later (dang, I’m old), that presence is more potent than ever in movies like Unknown, in which he plays a man up against impossible odds. His character, Dr. Martin Harris, in Berlin for a bio-tech conference, gets in a car accident and regains consciousness only to find that everyone he knows, including his wife (an oddly robotic January Jones), denies knowing him. To add insult to his head injury, another man (Aidan Quinn) has already taken over his life, with all the knowledge and credentials to prove he is Dr. Harris. What the funk?

Left without any I.D. (apparently he can’t even check into a seedy motel without it), the original Harris races around the city searching for answers while eluding men who want him dead. His only ally is the cab driver (Diane Kruger) who saved his life during the accident but has reasons for staying under the radar.

The movie is helped along by Neeson, the intriguing mystery, and some decent action scenes, including a white-knuckling car chase. The Berlin locale is nice, too, though I wish the filmmakers had showcased it more. How cool would it have been to have a climactic scene happen at the Brandenburg Gate? Or, a la Frank Fry clinging to the Statue of Liberty in Hitchcock’s Saboteur, have someone dangling from the Victory Column in Tiergarten? As it is, we get just a couple brief glimpses of Berlin’s iconic landmarks and the rest could have happened in any European city. The denouement takes place at the well-known Hotel Adlon but it looks like many other upscale hotels.

Kruger is better employed as the scrappy Gina, a different kind of role for the actress who usually plays icy, elegant women. Gina is streetwise and proves herself a valuable sidekick to Harris. It is a bit hard, though, to buy a woman looking like a hip fashion model as a cab driver/waitress.

But that’s the least unbelievable thing in the movie. After an interesting setup, the resolution includes a too-convenient coincidence and actions that don’t make sense (Jones’s character does something incredibly stupid). Some plot points aren’t even addressed, leaving me almost as confused as Harris. It’s not possible to go into details without revealing spoilers so I’ll just say that in the end, the answers to many questions remain unknown.

Nerd verdict: Intriguing but ultimately unsatisfying Unknown

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Tell Me a Story about…Bananas

This past weekend, I was thinking about doing another edition of “tell me a story…” (see sample past posts here and here) in which I give you a random word and you tell me whatever anecdote or thoughts that word triggers for you. I do it occasionally when I’m sitting around with friends and the stories that emerge never fail to be interesting.

Serendipitously, while I was on Twitter today, regular PCNerdherders Poncho and Christine asked me if I’d consider playing the game again so I thought, Yes, let’s. I hollered to the hubster to give me a random word and since he was eating breakfast, he said, “Banana!” A story about banana it is.

When I was a kid living in Saigon, my family would visit my paternal grandparents every weekend. I enjoyed these visits because Grandpa always had Lifesavers candy for me and my siblings. We didn’t even have to share; he’d give us each our own roll. In Vietnam, this American candy was rare so it was a very special treat for us.

One day, my mother decided mid-week to take us for a visit. Grandpa didn’t have a phone (most people didn’t back then) so we showed up unannounced. He was dismayed that he didn’t have any candy on hand for us kids despite my mother saying he shouldn’t worry about it, that we’d gotten plenty from him in the past and could certainly do without for once. But Grandpa was determined to give us treats. He put on his hat, announced he would walk to the market (most people walked everywhere then, too), and asked us to wait for him.

He came home much later, smiling triumphantly, his neck sunburned where the hat didn’t cover it. He said, “I couldn’t find Lifesavers but I have something else that’s delicious” and held up a bunch of bananas. My grandfather loved bananas, something inherited by my dad but not necessarily us kids. I could hear my brother and sister groaning and will admit I was disappointed, too.

But then I looked at him, having just returned from a long walk on a hot day, that big smile breaking up his lined face. So I said, “I’ll have one.” Grandpa gave me a banana longer than my arm (I was a small child) but I was determined to eat that whole thing and made yummy noises to show how much I was enjoying it. And then I asked for a second one. Since no one else was having any, I ended up ingesting four to show Grandpa how much we appreciated his treat.

Afterward, I had a belly ache on the way home but I think it was worth it to let my grandfather know his trip to the market wasn’t wasted. And surprise—I learned to love bananas!

OK, your turn. Tell me your story!

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Book Review: Erin Kelly’s THE POISON TREE

The cover of Erin Kelly’s The Poison Tree is stunning, with its web of black branches against a blood red background. It conveys a sense of ominousness, daring me to peek inside and unravel its mysteries. Turns out Tree shelters deep, dark secrets all right but unfortunately I didn’t care much for the characters harboring them.

The story moves back and forth between the present—when Karen picks up her former lover Rex from prison after he’s served ten years for a double murder—and 1997, when the killings took place. We see Rex readjusting to life on the outside with Karen and their little girl while we gradually learn why he went inside in the first place. And Karen apparently has a giant secret that is harder to keep after Rex’s release.

I was a little surprised by one plot twist but not so much by the big final one because it was the only possible explanation for a series of mysterious incidents. And once that secret was revealed, there was only one way it could have been dealt with so the ending was not as shocking as the author perhaps intended.

Kelly paints vivid pictures of the London setting, both in the present and the past, but I found the three lead characters inaccessible. The three friends engaged in a hedonistic lifestyle in their youth so it’s no wonder they encountered such troubles. Biba is an irresponsible, self-serving party girl enabled by her brother, Rex. He indulges her out of guilt for perceived wrongs he committed during their wretched childhood, but at some point people need to grow up and stop using their past as an excuse for destructive behavior.

As for Karen, it’s understandable why she might be drawn to Rex and Biba—they’re exotic to her goody-two-shoes sensibilities—but after she’s repeatedly taken advantage of and treated like a doormat by Biba, I couldn’t fathom why she continued to put up with it. I lost my patience and sympathy for her after a while because people who choose to drink from the poisoned cup have to deal with the consequences.

Nerd verdict: Not-so-potent Poison

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Ten Unexpectedly Romantic Movies

Today is Valentine’s Day, whether you like it or not. Since you’ve probably been bombarded by sentimental consumerism for a couple months, I thought I’d put together a list of movies that are romantic in much subtler ways. None of these titles can be found in the romance category; their plots are much bigger than boy and girl meet cute and bicker until they realize they’re meant for each other. But while something else is going on, while some of these characters are enmeshed in life-or-death struggles, love happens anyway and that’s my favorite kind: the unexpected romance that can’t be denied.

So, instead of the latest rom-com dreck from Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl, why not watch or review one of these instead?

**Might be spoilery if you haven’t seen these movies**

  1. The Terminator. Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), a freaked-out waitress being chased by a cyborg from the future who wants to kill her, falls for the soldier sent to protect her. In the midst of all the craziness, she and Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) make love in a hotel room, a good thing for the future resistance but bittersweet for them and viewers.
  2. Casino Royale. After a deadly fight in a stairwell, James Bond (Daniel Craig) goes back to his hotel room and finds Vespa (Eva Green) sitting fully clothed and shivering in the shower, in shock from the events she witnessed. He gets into the shower with her, tux and all, turns up the hot water, puts his arm around her and her fingers in his mouth when she said she couldn’t wash the blood off them. (I, um, need a moment after writing that paragraph.)
  3. Out of Sight. The beginning scene in the trunk of the car, when U.S. Marshal Karen Sisco (Jennifer Lopez) is locked in with newly-escaped-from-prison Jack Foley (George Clooney), isn’t hot enough for you? How about the scene when they meet in a bar that’s cross-cut with them slowly undressing and getting it on?
  4. District 9. This might be a sci-fi film about aliens and genetic engineering, but for me it’s about an everyman, Wikus (Sharlto Copley), trying to survive a nightmare and get back to his wife, Tania (Vanessa Haywood), whom he calls an angel. The final scene when she receives a scrap-metal flower she can’t bear to throw away, followed by the glimpse of a grotesque prawn delicately making such a flower, just breaks my heart.
  5. Witness. While Detective John Book is undercover in Amish country to protect a young boy who witnessed a murder, he’s drawn to the boy’s mother, Rachel (Kelly McGillis). Their dance in the barn to Sam Cooke’s “Wonderful World” is sweet enough, but their walk towards each other at dusk, with Rachel throwing down her bonnet before they kiss feverishly, is swoon-worthy.
  6. Notorious. Yeah, yeah, it’s about the daughter of a Nazi spy sent undercover to gather intelligence on one of her father’s old friends, but it contains that kiss between Alicia (Ingrid Bergman) and her handler, Devlin (Cary Grant). The classic scene of them talking while kissing for over two minutes, bypassing a Production Code regulation at the time banning onscreen kisses lasting over three seconds, makes it notoriously sexy.
  7. House of Flying Daggers. Police deputy Jin (Takeshi Kineshiro) pretends to be a wandering rogue and breaks Mei (Zhang Ziyi) out of jail, hoping she’d lead him back to the lair of the Flying Daggers so he can kill the leader of the rebel group. Despite warnings from his colleague, Jin develops feelings for Mei along the way. When she discovers his true identity and is ordered to kill him, Mei takes him out to a field and ends up rolling around in it with him instead. It’s a hot stolen moment before they have to get back on their horses and flee from people who want them dead.
  8. The Empire Strikes Back. The Empire is on their tail and the Millenium Falcon is experiencing some mechanical troubles but while Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) is trying to fix something, Han Solo (Harrison Ford) comes along and “helps” by kissing her after massaging her sore hands. Later on, when she finally tells him she loves him before he gets encased in carbonite, Solo says, “I know,” a perfect rejoinder that’s much more romantic than anything else he could’ve said.
  9. Superman. Supes (Christopher Reeve) shows Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) his bird’s eye view of Metropolis by taking her on an evening aerial tour while John Williams’s score of “Can You Read My Mind?” soars. For a while, that scene ruined me for first dates. I wanted to be flown through the skies and how could mortals live up to that? Good thing no one was offering me any kind of dates at the time and I was able to avoid massive disappointment. (I later became a news reporter but no one ever gave me an interview that good.)
  10. Wall*E. The title character is a robot cleaning up a waste-laden Earth in the future. The object of his affection is EVE, a robot who searches for signs of life. The two are machines that don’t talk, but somehow their love affair is one of the most poignant in recent years. If you didn’t feel a lump in your throat during the scene near the end when it looks like the damaged-then-repaired WALL*E has lost all memory of EVE, you might not be human.

What movies have you found unexpectedly romantic?

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