TV – Page 2 – Pop Culture Nerd

Quick Impressions of HOUSE OF LIES & THE FIRM

Sunday night brought two anticipated TV debuts, but after I saw them, I was ready for them to go away. Showtime’s House of Lies starred Don Cheadle as Marty Kaan, head of a team of management consultants. He’s a slut, having casual sex with various women in the pilot, including his ex-wife, and a shark at work, landing a big account with a bank by telling top execs how to make themselves look good publicly while still taking fat bonuses and screwing the little people. Despite Cheadle’s charm, Kaan is so slimy, I couldn’t root for him, especially when he’s hitting on one of his team members, Jeannie, played by Kristin Bell. The erstwhile Veronica Mars doesn’t have much to do yet except resist Kaan’s advances, but even if the role gets meatier, I probably won’t be around to see it. Nerd verdict: House of sleaze.

The other show was NBC’s The Firm, taking up the story ten years after the events in the movie starring Tom Cruise as Mitch McDeere. Josh Lucas has taken over the role and boy, is he bland. I never thought I’d say, “I miss Tom Cruise.” He can be intense, while Lucas just looked frazzled and couldn’t hold my interest for two hours. So I can’t give it a verdict, because I bailed after about forty-five minutes, but that alone is a sign that—its title aside—the show didn’t hold up well.

Did you watch either? What did you think?

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My Weekly REVENGE Ritual

It’s ridiculous how much I anticipated Revenge‘s return tonight. When it debuted last fall, it was the show I was least interested in watching. It had a generic title and marketing campaign, which didn’t make it clear why the girl in the thorn dress was out for revenge.

But I like to sample everything, and just like potato chips, I couldn’t stop at one episode. This thing sucked me in and next thing I knew, I was chatting up strangers at the supermarket and—gasp!—teenagers at the movie theater, saying, “Oh my gosh, slutty FauxAmanda needs to go away!” and “I can’t stand Tyler!” and “Can they please get rid of stupid Declan and annoying Charlotte?” I make my friends watch it, I’ve recommended it to my sister-in-law who’s on maternity leave, even Mr. PCN watches it with me.

If you haven’t tuned in yet, here’s the basic stuff you need to know. Emily VanCamp plays Emily Thorne, who arrives in the Hamptons and immediately takes up with Daniel, the handsome son of Victoria and Conrad Grayson, prominent figures in the social scene. Thing is, Emily is actually Amanda Clarke, who lived in the area as a little girl with her father, David, who was framed by the Graysons for a heinous crime and sent to prison, where he was killed. With the help of local rich boy Nolan, who knew her dad and remains loyal to him, Emily/Amanda is out to take down all the people responsible for ruining her life.

The word I hear most often about this show is that it’s addictive. All the nasty twists and turns, fabulous clothes, and bad people getting what they deserve add up to a satisfying hour every week that usually leaves me wanting more. The MVPs are undoubtedly VanCamp, nimbly switching between blond innocence and dark avenging angel, and the gorgeous Madeleine Stowe, who has mastered the art of smiling sweetly at people while her big soft brown eyes say she wants to stab them in the face. And Joshua Bowman, the British actor who maintains his American accent well as Daniel, has surprised me. I was prepared to hate his character but Bowman, with the help of the writers, has made Daniel quite likable, if a bit clueless about his friend Tyler.

**Spoilers if you haven’t seen the latest ep**

Ah, Tyler (Ashton Holmes). I don’t love to hate him, I don’t love anything about him, I just hate his ass. I detest his skeevy, two-faced, blackmailing ways and hope we won’t see him again anytime soon after he got hauled away by his brother. I am a bit disappointed he didn’t actually shoot somebody, though, before Jack and Daniel tackled him. There were a few characters around that dinner table I wouldn’t mind seeing eliminated—namely Declan (Connor Paolo), Charlotte (Christa B. Allen), and the useless party planner, Ashley (Ashley Madekwe). She should be killed just for entertaining the idea of Tyler as a boyfriend.

Oh well, I can’t have everything, but I would like to see the following happen as the show moves forward:

Emily using some of her ninja training. When Nolan mentioned that she held back her inner ninja during the gun situation, I shouted at the TV, “Unleash it!” There are certainly plenty of people who deserve a good whupping, and I thought Victoria’s divorce lawyer, who was involved in the frame-up of David Clarke, was going to feel some pain from Emily after the way she looked at him when she recognized him.
Ashley either contributing something valuable to the show or leaving the Hamptons. She showed a nasty side recently and I thought she was going to team up with Victoria against Emily, but she’s slipped back into uselessness, lurking in the background looking pretty and not doing much else. She did throw a snippy remark at Emily last night—“Empathy. You should try it sometime”—but it’s still not clear why she hangs around when Victoria treats her like a doormat and she can’t even pull off one stinkin’ event without some disaster happening. “Hey, come to the party I organized and you’ll get a gun pointed at your head! Or see yourself on video confessing your most embarrassing secrets to your shrink!” How does this girl keep her job?
More people who were directly involved in the David Clarke situation destroyed. In the beginning, Emily took out a person a week, and while I’m glad the show expanded beyond that formula, we haven’t seen anyone taken down in a while.
Tyler staying away permanently. The story is not about him. He’s just a distraction.
Jack realizing that FauxAmanda is not the girl he fell in love with years ago. If love is a chemical reaction, and he didn’t feel it with FauxAmanda when he first met her, wouldn’t that clue him in that something’s not right?

What would you like to see happen? Are you sucked in by this show yet? If not, go here and get caught up now!

Photos: Top two—ABC/Colleen Hayes; bottom two—ABC/Carol Kaelson

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Q & A with ALLEN GREGORY’s Joy Osmanski

This weekend is a big one for my friend Joy Osmanski. Saturday was her birthday and tonight, as in Sunday, her new show Allen Gregory premieres at 8:30 on Fox right after The Simpsons‘ “Treehouse of Horror” episode.

Joy, an incredibly talented, funny, all-around amazing person, is the voice of Julie De Longpre, the adopted sister of the title character, an impossibly precocious seven-year-old boy (voiced by Jonah Hill). Allen’s two gay dads buy Julie off the Internet as if she’s an accessory and you can tell by the way she’s drawn that she’s thrilled.

You can get to know Julie and Joy a little better in this video:

Being the in-depth investigative journalist that I am, I had additional burning questions for Joy.

Pop Culture Nerd: If the De Longpres hadn’t bought Julie online, how much do you think she would’ve gone for on eBay?

Joy Osmanski: I have no doubt that Julie would have inspired a serious bidding war. Maybe for all the wrong reasons, but nonetheless.

PCN: How does she feel about fellow Cambodian baby Maddox getting adopted by Angelina and Brad while she got the De Longpres?

JO: Maddox got totally shafted.

PCN: If she rented out her forehead as a billboard, what product(s) would she advertise?

JO: She probably wouldn’t have an ethical dilemma with, say, Halliburton ad space, but if Apple came knocking, Julie would get a tattoo of Steve Jobs on her forehead.

PCN: Since this is a voiceover gig, what do you wear while working, if anything?

JO: I’ve found that I work best in a filmy negligee worn over a hair shirt. It’s not a formula, per se, but it unleashes my creative genius in a way that no one dares question. Probably because they fear me.

PCN: Oh, man, I’m going online and buying a hair shirt right now.

Thanks so much to Joy for stopping by! Check out Allen Gregory tonight and we’ll be like this:

If not, we’ll give you these faces:

Which would you prefer?

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More Mini Reviews of New Fall TV Shows

Went through the DVR again today and here’s what I saw.

Prime Suspect

Phew, it’s not terrible! I’m sure I wasn’t alone in approaching this with trepidation. The original BBC version and Helen Mirren as DCI Jane Tennison had such a huge impact on me, how could this American adaptation measure up? By being a different show. After a few minutes, I stopped comparing the two and settled into appreciating Maria Bello’s performance as New York homicide detective Jane Timoney. Bello is a ball buster and has the acting chops to make Timoney tough without looking like she’s trying too hard. Bello’s presence is strong enough that she’ll elevate the show just by walking and talking.

It did seem anachronistic that the male cops in the precinct were so sexist toward her, insinuating that she slept her way onto the squad. What year is this? Granted, it’s based on a show that first aired twenty years ago but this version is set in the present. Male chauvinists are probably still everywhere, but since Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson has been commanding a whole division of male detectives with respect on The Closer for years, the sexism felt like a step backward in time and not a very interesting source of conflict. Let’s hope Timoney proves herself to them soon and that storyline can go away. Nerd verdict: Bello is in her Prime.

Person of Interest

There are many impressive names attached to this show—Jonathan Nolan (Oscar-nominated co-writer of Memento and the Batman movies with his brother Christopher), Oscar-nominated Taraji P. Henson, Lost‘s J.J. Abrams and Michael Emerson, etc. But the MVP is star James Caviezel. He can be the most interesting person in a scene without saying anything. At the beginning of the pilot, his character, John Reese, is sitting on the subway looking like a homeless man, minding his own business when a bunch of thugs get on. Reese is completely still and may even be drunk or half asleep, but somehow Caviezel manages to exude an intensity that lets you know an explosion is about to happen. That intensity and stillness are what make him so riveting. His eyes are more expressive than his words sometimes, and when he does speak, it’s often in low, soft tones that just make him more intimidating. The premise of two men having foreknowledge of crimes and teaming up to prevent them is different enough to make this show intriguing, and I hope the formidable Henson will get more to do in future episodes. Nerd verdict: Caviezel makes Person very interesting.

Charlie’s Angels

I don’t know where to start with this one. The atrocious acting? Cheesy dialogue? Just overall what-the-hellness? The original was no masterpiece but it was campy fun. This one played it straight and was determined to give us one cringe-inducing moment after another. Worst offender was Ramon Rodriguez as Bosley. He must have gone to the Adam West school of acting because he kept pausing in weird places while saying his lines, as if he were waiting for his closeup before he would complete the dialogue. Minka Kelly has one facial expression and a monotone that indicated no emotional inner life. Rachael Taylor has the two most dreadful lines in the pilot: “We’re angels, not saints,” and “I didn’t know my heart could hurt this much.” I didn’t know my head could hurt this much until I watched this show. Nerd verdict: Lifeless Angels.

Unforgettable

This is the type of show I’d probably watch if it were the only new programming among a night of reruns. Poppy Montgomery stars as Carrie Wells, a former NY cop who has HSAM—highly superior autobiographical memory—which allows her to remember everything she’s ever experienced. Well, except who killed her sister when they were kids playing in the woods. Apparently the trauma is blocking her memory. Anyway, she helps solve the murder of a neighbor and it looks like she’ll be back on the force by the next episode and working alongside her former flame, Detective Al Burns (Dylan Walsh).

Though Carrie’s ability is unusual, this is a pretty standard police procedural, in which you can figure out who the villain is at the half-hour mark and aren’t thrown by any of the red herrings. The pacing is somewhat slow and dreamlike, especially when she’s revisiting her memories to bring up facts. Montgomery needs to relax into the role more; right now she’s doing a lot of affected readings. The most interesting thing for me is that actress Marilu Henner is a consultant because she has HSAM (for more info, go here) and will be appearing on the show later this season as Carrie’s aunt…who has Alzheimer’s. Nerd verdict: Unforgettable‘s title is hyperbolical.

Did you watch any of these? What’d you think?

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Mini Reviews of New Fall TV

The official start of fall isn’t until tomorrow, September 23rd, but the fall TV season has already begun. I love this time of year because there’s so much new stuff to sample. I know most of it will be awful but I’m always hopeful. Below are first impressions of the new shows I sampled.

The X Factor

This show was a giant mess, including everything from a guy who made Paula physically sick with the sight of his penis, a 61-year-old woman wailing “I Touch Myself,” and a 70-day-sober trash collector who performed a song he wrote called “Young Homie.” That last one, Chris Rene, did a decent enough job to go through to the next round, but there were many moments during the show when I was bored out of my mind or horrified by what I saw and not in an entertaining way. The feud montage between L.A. Reid and Simon Cowell, showing them disagreeing on many of the wannabes, was ridiculous filler, trying to play up drama that isn’t there. American Idol has many flaws, but at least that show doesn’t give the singers backing tracks, nor does it allow them to sing entire songs when auditioning. When an act is obviously bad, like 70-year-old Dan and 83-year-old Venita giving new meaning to the word “unchained” in “Unchained Melody,” they should be cut off after a few bars to prevent our ears from bleeding. Nerd verdict: X as in wrong.

New Girl

Zooey Deschanel is naturally quirky and likable, but the humor seems forced and, worse, not funny. Deschanel’s character, Jess, actually makes her glasses pop up and down on her head and makes cartoonish noises to show how she’s checking out a hot guy. Really? And her three male roommates would let her commandeer the TV for hours at a time to watch Dirty Dancing over and over? I don’t think so. And I’m saying this as someone who also loves Dirty Dancing and once lived with male roomies. None of the guys seems very interesting—one shouts at women, another insists on removing his shirt, and the last is still moping over being dumped by his girlfriend. The funniest actor of the three, Damon Wayans, Jr., has been replaced since his series Happy Endings got picked up (that show is much funnier), which makes me even less interested in seeing future episodes. Nerd verdict: Not exciting or New.

2 Broke Girls

Kat Dennings is appealing as Max, the cupcake-making waitress, and Beth Behrs does what she can as Caroline, the rich girl whose Madoff-y dad turns her into a broke social outcast. It’s not the actress’s fault that Caroline is a little annoying, though I suspect she’ll have more colors as the season progresses. Caroline supposedly went to Wharton so at least she won’t be a dumb blond. The show is unremarkable, but it’s helped quite a bit by Dennings’s warm grounding presence. Nerd verdict: Girls should just have more fun.

Ringer

I read in Entertainment Weekly that this show was inspired by Blood Simple. Huh? The Coen brothers’ movie was dark and so suspenseful, I left deep finger marks in the armrests of my chair at the theater. This show is melodramatic without even trying to play it as camp. That scene showing Bridget making the decision to assume her twin Siobhan’s identity while saying in voiceover, “I had no choice!” was soapier than my Irish Spring.

And what’s with the weird green-screen effect while the twins are in the boat right before Siobhan disappears? They’re supposedly speeding along the water but the background looks about as realistic as the scenery through the back windshields of cars when people drive in old ’40s movies. Sarah Michelle Gellar is watchable, but her costars haven’t made much of an impression yet. Kristoffer Polaha, who plays Siobhan’s lover, has never impressed me in anything so I’m not holding my breath for him to get interesting. Though the show is not really my style, it does have me wondering what the heck these twins are up to, so I might tune in again and fast forward through the cringy stuff to get to the answers. Nerd verdict: Needs more noir for viewers to Ring(er) twice.

Modern Family

This is obviously not a new show (hooray for its Best Comedy Emmy!) but I wanted to check out the new Lily since Ella and Jaden Hiller were replaced over the summer by Aubrey Anderson-Emmons. Though I was a little concerned by how unresponsive the Hiller twins were to stimuli (at least on camera), I loved their stoic little trouper faces, as if they had to suffer the shenanigans of the silly adults around them. Now, Lily talks and smiles a lot more. At first, I thought Anderson-Emmons might be too conventionally cutesy, until the second episode when she turns into an infanticidal toddler, which is hilarious. Cam and Mitchell are thinking of adopting another child and Lily’s not having it. Best line of the night came when Mitch asks Cam, “Why are you saying ‘thing’ instead of baby?” and Lily muttered from off camera: “Kill the baby.” By the end of the two episodes, I was on board with this new Lily. Nerd verdict: Good for Lily to have more Family interaction.

Which shows have you seen? Got any favorites yet?

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THE VOICE Wrap-up

I went into the results show thinking I’d be okay if either Javier Colon or Dia Frampton won, because he has the best voice and she is most mesmerizing while performing. After his audition with “Time After Time,” I had said to my husband, “Oh, fuggedaboutit. Just crown this guy now.” But over the past few weeks, Dia became the one I rooted for.

Yes, the show is called The Voice and Javier definitely has a big, bold, beautiful one. The problem was his tendency to oversing. His coach Adam Levine advised him on when to hold back and when to let his emotions go, but Javier seemingly just wanted to rip into every note all the time like a lion on a fresh gazelle. He gives new meaning to the term, “He killed it.” Dueting with Stevie Nicks tonight on “Landslide,” Javier was on harmony but was so loud, he often drowned out Nicks on melody. She was a little flat and subdued but the song is supposed to be introspective. Nicks had to put her hand up to his face to literally conduct him to soften his voice or stop holding on to a note for three days.

Dia’s duet, on the other hand, with Miranda Lambert on “The House That Built Me” was understated and lovely. And I don’t even like country. At times, Dia’s voice dropped to a whisper but it felt like she was more focused on connecting with the lyrics than doing vocal gymnastics. I’ll take emotion over volume any day.

But I’ll admit I voted for her mostly because her coach Blake Shelton was so passionate about her. Frampton, er, Dia comes alive when she sings but when she’s not, her shyness makes her inscrutable. Blake, meanwhile, wears his feelings for her all over his face.

Out of all the coaches, he has promoted and worked the hardest for his protegé, getting emotional every time she advanced to the next round. He and Lambert bought Dia the dress she wore on the finale when NBC deemed it too expensive for its budget. When choked-up Blake said to Dia “you are family to me now,” you could tell he wasn’t selling it for the cameras (unlike Christina Aguilera telling the guys they were the brothers she never had).

So if he vouched for Dia and thought she deserved the title, I voted for her. Yes, I wanted her to win but I wanted more for her proud coach to not be disappointed. There’s a reason it’s called Team Blake instead of Team Dia. A couple months ago, I wasn’t even sure who Blake Shelton was (a doctor on General Hospital? baseball player? see above comment about not liking country). But he’s been a revelation to me, displaying smarts, talent, genuine goodwill, and a wicked sense of humor. Now I’m listening to his “Honey Bee” and expanding my world. Go figure.

Beverly & Tedder--What's going on here??

But my world hasn’t expanded enough for me to think that Beverly McClellan’s performance of “Good Life” with Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic made any sense. I think five minutes before the live show, producers had a conversation with McClellan that went something like, “Hey, you’ll be dueting with that dude from OneRepublic.” McClellan: “Okay. Does it matter if I don’t know the song or who he is?” Producers: “Nope. Just jump around and have fun.” McClellan: “Okeydoke.” She and Tedder did look like they were enjoying themselves so let’s just leave it at that.

Vicci Martinez fared better pairing up with Pat Monahan from Train to sing “Drops of Jupiter.” I like her but the song is a little somber for her. I think she does best when she gets to bust out all her energy and just go to town, like she did on “Dog Days Are Over” and “Love is a Battlefield.”

Javier with his family

Ultimately, while Javier wasn’t my top choice, I’m still happy for him because he seems like a really good guy who’s got some serious talent. I hope he continues to work with mentors, though, who will help him make music that won’t make me change the station.

Who were you rooting for? What did you think of the finale?

Photos: Lewis Jacobs/NBC

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THE GLEE PROJECT—Vulnerability

Anybody watching this on Oxygen Sunday nights? It’s a mildly diverting show which documents the process of the creative team behind Glee trying to find an actor or actress for a seven-episode arc on the series next season. The twelve kids who made it onto the show have been given challenges every week, and the three who perform most poorly have to sing for Glee creator Ryan Murphy before he and his colleagues, casting director Robert Ulrich and choreographer Zach Woodlee, decide on the one who doesn’t get a callback that week. I like that it’s a swift decision without calls or texts from viewers to save their favorite contestants.

Dot-Marie Jones & GLEE casting director Robert Ulrich

Murphy isn’t just looking for a good actor and singer; he wants someone with a unique personality he can create a new character for. Therefore, each challenge is designed to make the contenders reveal different aspects of themselves. The first episode had them play up their individuality, the second their theatricality, and the third episode, with Dot-Marie Jones (Coach Beiste) as guest mentor, had them put their vulnerability on display. Literally.

The kids were asked to come up with a word that described the one thing they’re most insecure or vulnerable about. Then they had to wear that word on a sandwich board and walk around in public while singing “Mad World” and being filmed for a music video. I was surprised by how moved I was. The singers came up with some raw words (see video below), showing that you’re never too young to experience damage. It made me wonder what I’d put on my board and whether I’d have the courage to walk outside with it on.

Cameron

I had a problem, though, with the results of the challenge. Ulrich and Woodlee faulted Cameron, a nerdy cool singer with a smooth-as-silk voice, for not doing the exercise well because he is “comfortable with himself,” “so well-adjusted” and “doesn’t have any big issues.” How dare he be normal? I think this sends the wrong message to the show’s youthful audience that you have to be completely effed up in order to make it in show business or just to be an artistic person. (I find it especially objectionable since Cameron is my 10-year-old niece’s favorite contestant and I’d applauded her for picking the most seemingly grounded person to idolize.)

I would have had no problem if the creative team had phrased their comments more tactfully, by perhaps saying Cameron doesn’t have the acting chops to convey emotion without having something real and traumatic to tap into. Blame the talent or lack thereof, not the person, especially a healthy one. I’m nitpicking but the kids watching at home can be impressionable and they absorb everything adults say. I like Cameron and hope he stays well-adjusted forever.

Damian

My favorite contender, though, is Irish boy Damian. This 18-year-old crooner with the lilting brogue is so adorable, I want to bring him home and make him cabbage. He was also in the bottom three because his word was “numb,” which apparently wasn’t a flashy enough flaw for the judges. He admitted he doesn’t cry often, that he keeps his feelings in check. So he got “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” to sing for Murphy. Damian promptly broke down because the song apparently brought back memories of his breakup with his girlfriend whom he’d known since he was eleven. He performed an emotional rendition for Murphy, who gave him high marks.

I would have been more upset about Damian and Cameron being in the bottom three if it weren’t for the fact I got to see them sing whole songs. During the challenges, everyone performs together, with each singer getting only one or two solo lines. Ironically, being in the bottom allows contestants to shine and improve their chances at staying on the show.

Who are you rooting for? What word would be on your sandwich board? If you haven’t been watching, you can view whole episodes here (select the show, then the episode) or just watch the “Mad World” video below and tell me if it doesn’t make your throat a little lumpy.

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Reaction to THE KILLING Finale

OK, hands up—how many of you shouted profanities and shook your fists at the TV when The Killing finale ended last night? If you haven’t seen it, may I divert your attention to a variety of other posts on my site while I discuss SPOILERS with viewers who might have some strong words about last night’s ep?

I’m conflicted about the conclusion without a resolution to Rosie’s murder. On the one hand, it ensures my interest in season two. On the other, Twin Peaks pulled the same stunt twenty years ago with Laura Palmer’s murder and my interest waned fast in season two when I felt producers were stringing me along. Then again, I kinda admire executive producer Veena Sud for taking such a big risk with the cliffhanger, especially since the show had not been renewed at the time the finale was shot. But while I can intellectually appreciate what she did, I wanted to be emotionally satisfied, too. Is that too much to ask?

What did you think when you found out Holder had falsified evidence? Whose car did he get into? Mr. PCN said it had to be Mayor Adams’s because he’s the only person who had something to gain by Richmond going down. But I’m not convinced because that’s too obvious a suspect. I keep looking for someone we’ve never been suspicious of and at this point I can only come up with Mitch. She’d be the craziest twist. Who would suspect the grieving mother? Michelle Forbes usually plays tough women so there might be more to her character than we’ve seen.

What did you think? Click here for Sud’s comments on the season finale and her plans for next season.

Photo: AMC

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Crumbling HOUSE

*Spoilers about House season finale ahead*

Second warning, if you haven’t watched last night’s episode, stop reading now. If you have seen it, read on and discuss!

Last week I was shocked when I heard Lisa Edelstein would not be back as Dr. Cuddy for House‘s season 8 (read the announcement here) but after watching last night’s finale, I’m thinking she’ll be better off. Dr. House (Hugh Laurie) has been an ass for many years now, but in the beginning it was fun. He was a kind of wish-fulfillment character—we wish we could be that blunt and live life on our own terms.

But during the past couple of seasons, he has become much more cruel and destructive, sometimes just for sport instead of for the good of a patient. The harm he caused, though, was mostly to himself so I put up with it. When he drove his car into Cuddy’s living room last night to break up a small dinner party, he stopped being just a petulant man in arrested emotional development. He became a psychotic person who attempted, at the very least, vehicular manslaughter. House is one sick jerk who didn’t just get thrown back to square one when Cuddy broke up with him (as she should have), he’s become a character I no longer like, and not in a love-to-hate way. Edelstein’s news indicates Cuddy will finally leave House behind next year, something I’ll probably do, too.

What did you think of the finale?

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AMERICAN IDOL S10: Top 3 Fight for the Finale

by Poncho

Let’s cut to the chase. Tonight there were three rounds, each one with different “rules.” For their first performance, the kids got to choose whichever song they liked. And it went like this:

Scotty opened with Lonestar’s “Amazed.” And I am…at least a little. This song did seem like a change for him, both in tone and in range. He managed to bring real movement to the stage instead of his trademark corniness. Sadly, I could hear the stretching of his voice as he tried to reach the higher parts of the song—which he didn’t. And during those parts, the backup singers totally outsang him. I couldn’t even hear him. He did nail the lower parts, though. I gotta admit that I really like his low-tone singing, but this performance, which could’ve been a nice moment for him, turned instead into an I-think-it’s-OK one.

Next was Lauren, singing Faith Hill’s “Wild One.” Again, it was just nice. She did seem very comfortable on stage, much more than she’s been for a long time. Lauren fills my screen during the closeups, but she lacks the experience to blow away the audience with her voice. It’s not how loud your voice is, but how you can bring people into your performance (see: Kris Allen’s “Ain’t No Sunshine” cover). This is when I remember Lauren is just a child, and I wish they would’ve let her grow before they threw her into this machine.

Closing the round, Haley sang “What Is and What Should Never Be” by Led Zeppelin, and she fell on her face, quite literally. After making a tour around the judges’ table, she tripped and fell. But that aside, the performance was pretty impressive. The song choice was highbrow for me (I don’t quite like it), but the fact that it’s not that familiar gave her the chance to own it. And own it she did. And the fact that she fell, and then stood up and continued singing, gave her applause from J. Lo & the block for being professional. Also, her dad was playing guitar during her performance, which gave her like a thousand how-cool-is-that points.

So round one, the winner was Haley, hands down. For round two, the songs were picked by Jimmy Iovine.

We saw Scotty again, singing “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not.” (Hell, no!) The performance was really good vocally, and even McCheesy’s Velveeta felt like it belonged where he put it. It actually felt honest and quite age-appropriate for him, and it sounded like he could record it. What made me quite uncomfortable was that his legs looked like he came from a seventeen-hour horseback ride and he couldn’t pull them straight. But I like when a song allows Scotty to use the twang in his voice and abuse his lower register. This Thompson Square song did that for him.

Iovine chose “If I Die Young” for Lauren. She started out sounding pretty good, but then she blew it. Not “out the box,” as Mr. Dawg likes to say. She missed some words because of the key change at the end of the song. And that blows. It’s sad, because she was having a very tender moment in the performance and then bam! But the judges pampered her like the kid she is. I wish they would start treating her like the professional she wants to become.

If Iovine’s the one to blame for Haley’s “Rhiannon” arrangement, then I’ll say he’s totally trying to screw her up. Haley looked gorgeous on camera and the almost-Marilyn-Monroe situation with the wind machine made the performance shine, but the arrangement was weird. The vocal part was very impressive because there wasn’t a moment where Haley growled, but instead, she sang softly and caressed the words, even though her pronunciation wasn’t top-notch. But I didn’t like the arrangement. I just didn’t.

I’ll call Haley again for round two. For round three, the judges gave their song choices to the contestants.

Trouty Mouth Steven Tyler chose Kenny Rogers’s “She Believes in Me” for Scotty. It was not only a great song for him, but also a very good performance. Scotty even managed to slay the big notes. Though the arrangement was that of a piano-driven ballad, he made the song feel a little country with his voice alone. It was quite nice, for a change.

J.Lo picked Lee Ann Womack’s “I Hope You Dance” for Lauren, who redeemed herself big time. But I have a big issue with ballads. When you sing a ballad, you need to find a way to engage the audience, find something to do, either moving, playing an instrument, or even sitting on a stool or chair (when you sing uptempo you need to move less so you can keep your breath). With that gorgeous dress on, Lauren looked like she was in the talent portion of the Miss Georgia pageant, the teen version. She did show off amazing vocal chops, though.

What Steven & La Lopez did in their picks was choose a song that fit their singers’ voices and asked for some stretch. Randy, however, gave Haley a very tough song to sing: Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” I don’t know what he was thinking. That song has so many changes in pace, it’s insane (I love it, though). Haley belted the choruses like there was no tomorrow, and did a fantastic job with them, but the fact that she botched the staccato bridges made the performance lackluster. It just wasn’t good. And, for the first time, the judges recognized the problem instead of just bashing her.

I’ll say the winner for round three is Steven’s song choice for Scotty.

And that’s how it went. I totally want to see Haley in the finale, and watch her take the trophy home. HALEY FTW!

Photos: FOX

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AMERICAN IDOL S10: Were the Top 5 Inspiring?

by Poncho

As I’ve written a few times, I don’t get American Idol [in Mexico] until about a week after it airs in the U.S., so I only watch the performances [online] and none of the judges’ comments. A week later, I watch the whole show. During my initial viewings, after writing about what I saw, I often read online what the judges said and find I rarely agree with them.

But this show brought a few surprises for me. By this time in the competition, they’ve gotten rid of the bad, the mediocre, the preachy and the ones unwilling to grow. The four left are definitely good and have delivered fine performances, and even a couple of great ones (*cough* Haley *cough*). So as some people say, “the game is on.”

This week there were two rounds with two themes. For round one, they performed “Songs That Inspire,” and this is how it went:

James Durbin opened with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Blame my uncle, but I love Journey and I love the song. I enjoy Glee and LOVED The Sopranos, so what’s not to like when that song is treated with respect? It was very well done and, unlike last week, James was on pitch the whole time and his vocals were very clean. The only turnoff was that he didn’t add much to the song, so it felt unoriginal and a little karaoke, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing in this case.

Next was Haley Reinhart channeling Michael Jackson. “Earth Song” is a great song and there was nothing that Haley could do wrong with it. It was very well done and filled with emotion while she stayed on pitch. Mr. Dawg & La Lopez told her that the song didn’t fit her and that she shouted. I call it BS! She overgrowled (if that’s a word), not yelled. I know Randy has a very limited vocabulary but I think that’s too much. And yes, the song didn’t quite fit her but she was limited by a theme that asked for a specific feel, so she couldn’t parade sexily or lament angrily—which is more her niche. Anyway, she sang nice, and the gospel choir definitely gave the performance extra feeling.

When I heard Scotty McCreery singing Alan Jackson’s “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)” I started yawning. I became very angry, well after having a whole mug of coffee (my Don Quijote mug can hold about 500 ml, so you can guess how hard it was for me to wake up after the performance). I agree that Scotty has been somewhat consistent, he’s never actually botched a performance, he has a very mature voice and marketable singing style, but he has never really given a good show. Not once has he stretched himself, not once has he tried something different, and not once have the so-called judges told him that he’s always played it safe. According to many critics he’s the frontrunner and he’s never thrilled the audience enough. If he wins, he will be competing for the lamest winner ever. I do like his voice—I actually like it very much—but I’m bored of watching him.

Lauren Alaina then sang Martina McBride’s “Anyway” and for the first time, she showed some sort of connection to the material! Not only was the pitch and arrangement perfect for her, but it felt like she understood what she was singing about. I’m not quite buying this pseudo-growth shtick the producers are trying to sell just yet, but I do see a little improvement in her. I mean, she’s just very young. What she needs is not to perform songs too mature for her and start belting age-appropiate songs and she’ll find her connection. “Anyway” was the perfect case.

So those were the pseudo-inspiring songs. I call Lauren a questionable round one winner.

For the second part, the performance order and the theme changed. Now it was time for the Leiber & Stoller songbook. And the guest mentor is Lady Gaga but…why is she trying to channel Billy the Puppet?

The first one was Haley with a fantastic rendition of “I (Who Have Nothing).” I’ll say it: My favorite growler could never match the raw anguish Jordin Sparks brought to the song when she performed it during her season 6 run. Haley changed it into some sort of stalker plea. And it sold. It wasn’t as amazing as her “House of the Rising Sun” last week (I doubt anyone can match it now), but it was great nonetheless. And I got angry again when I read the judges’ comments. I sort of understand why they are so unfairly hard on her if they’re pushing her toward brilliance, but what I’m missing is why they don’t do it to the others. They deserve constructive criticism too! That’s the point of them folks being there! Anyway, Haley should be in the top three just for her lungs alone. That girl can hold a note!

I’m changing Scotty McCheesy’s nickname to Scotty McCreepy. He sang “Young Blood” and trotted around the stage like a drunken monkey trying to be sexy. I gagged, then got goosebumps (not the good kind) and then wanted to barf. The cheese factor was so over the top that it became completely uncomfortable. The whole visual was completely wrong. I listened to him again without the visual and noticed the vocals were nice and his lower register was on fire. It wasn’t superb and the visual part almost made me want to tear my eyes out, but he’s still consistent. The judges had cheese-gasms, though.

If singing Elvis Presley was the only chance we saw Lauren, I’d say she should be in “Trouble.” She wasn’t bad, though she lost her breath in a couple of verses, but it was pretty underwhelming. I agree she has the IT factor, but she hasn’t found IT. She does look more comfortable on stage than she has in weeks past, but she doesn’t know yet how to match her body movements with the song. I think “Trouble” should be sung by a girl in a more teasing and sexy kind of way and she’s too young for that! I often ask myself about the people behind her: Are they trying to screw up this girl’s teenage years, or are they really clueless about what to advise her?

Closing the show was James Durbin. I wonder why is he both opening and closing the show. His song choice was “Love Potion No. 9” and, yet again, it was nice. He missed a few notes here and there but I was feeling quite pleased with the arrangement and the performance until the very end. During the final notes, twice he stopped singing and the band quit playing for him to grasp the audience’s love for him. If it didn’t make me laugh I would’ve gotten angry at that. The way he did it was overconfident and just too much, which made me uncomfortable, and he looked the most like Sloth from The Goonies. I know I’ve teased about that a few times, but this time the resemblance was uncanny!

And so, round two ends with a definite win for Haley. If it was my choice I’d send Scotty home. If you had asked me last week, I would’ve said Lauren had the toughest chance, but I think she might grab a few votes [this week] for her “Anyway,” if “Trouble” didn’t hurt her that much.

Who do you think will make the top three?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

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AMERICAN IDOL S10: Top 6 Sing Carole King

by Poncho

This week’s theme was Carole King’s songbook, and I have to say CK was good for most of these kids. The night was kind of boring, though, except for a few “highlights” now and then.

Jacob Lusk opened with “Oh No, Not My Baby.” He was dressed like a clown and that matched his performance. It was uptempo and actually quite fun. He botched a lot of the higher notes but it came together on the lower ones. This is the first time I didn’t hate his performance, perhaps because it seemed he didn’t take himself too seriously and he pulled back on his skanky diva faces. He still reminds me of Juan Gabriel’s dancing, though.

Then Lauren Gilmore Alaina sang “Where You Lead” and though she wasn’t perfect, she was way more relaxed than last week. The backups were actually a great help to her because she sounded a lot better when she harmonized with them. And wow! She serenaded a random guy from the audience, even pulling him to the stage. She was flirty AND age-appropriate. That was nice, but there were flaws in her vocals.

The first duet came courtesy of rumored couple Casey Abrams & Haley Reinhart with “I Feel the Earth Move.” It was nice. The solos weren’t that interesting but when they started harmonizing, it was quite good. There was real chemistry there and the arrangement suited both of them. The bad thing was, the flaws in Casey’s higher register raised their arms to be noticed.

Scotty McCreery took me by surprise. He didn’t quite go out of his comfort zone, but he did try something different. He did a sort of romantic performance with “You’ve Got a Friend” and managed to pull the cheese back completely until the closing verse. His vocals were smooth and nice for almost the whole song, though he cracked during a few of the higher notes. It was good nonetheless and a nice step forward for him. I’m still waiting for him to have a real Idol Moment™, especially since lots of people are labeling him the frontrunner.

James Durbin was next with a nice rock ‘n’ roll twist to “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.” It was a little overdone in some parts with his higher register, but the whole thing came together very well. It’s the first time that I can recall this season when there was a good rearrangement of a song that actually fit both the song and the contestant. It was very nice, indeed.

The next duet was “Up on the Roof,” sung by Lauren and Scotty. Lauren’s voice sort of drowned Scotty’s in a few places; he seemed to be singing only the harmony. I think the song was a little high for Scotty in most parts, but I liked some of Scotty’s moments better than Lauren’s. Their voices don’t complement each other the way Casey & Haley’s do. It was a nice try, but it felt lacking.

Next, Casey growled through “Hi-De-Ho” and I don’t get why the judges thought it was that good. Casey talked, shouted and growled through the verses, and there was no musicality to it except for the musicians on stage. The whole thing was lame and came out as an angry bashing of the audience. Some random girl was almost throwing herself at him but Casey seemed to ignore her and kept sneering and shouting. Oh, but the cool sax player [from two weeks ago] was there! Other than her, I didn’t like the performance at all. By the way, Casey has managed so far to disrespect both Nirvana & Maroon 5. I say put him in the bottom three or kick him out!

Haley then sang “Beautiful” and she sang it beautifully, but the background was hurting her. I read there were troubles with the sound and ear monitors, and there was chaos on stage before her performance. I’m starting to think: “Are the producers actually trying to hurt her?” It’s not the first time I’ve felt it in the last few weeks. She’s the ONLY contestant they give lukewarm criticism to week in and week out even though she’s the only one actually growing as a performer. And now this. (I did hear, though, there were also sound issues during Jacob’s turn last week so I don’t know.) Other than that, Haley did well. She didn’t blow me away as she’s done other nights, but it was a good effort. I hope she’s safe.

James & Jacob’s duet was so crappy it was funny. They did a sort of rock arrangement to “I’m Into Something Good” and it actually hurt them, since they both did some caterwauling and shrieking. At one point they even serenaded La Lopez, but it was all a mess. The whole thing looked like they got drunk, decided to match clothes, went to a karaoke bar, picked some random Carole King song and tried to seduce a girl while also kind of seducing one another. Weird stuff.

What did you think?

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